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Posts posted by gliyw1thdabangs

  1. Ah, finale arrangements. I have some critique for your arrangement:

    There's a lot of meandering going on in here, no clear direction and because of it the source material really doesn't permeate very well. What's this written for, string quartet and piano? Or is it supposed to be string orchestra and piano? I know this is pre-production but I'm having trouble telling what's going on with those instruments. You have some cool individual ideas, but one thought is strung into the next with no consideration for transition. And to make matters worse, this is a long remix. If you're looking to submit, I'm not sure if you'd want to send this out for production yet--I think the arrangement still needs work. See if you can sort out your ideas a bit more, try to make it very clear what you're trying to say. Clarity of intention!!

    Thanks a bunch for your critique! I've been posting this every few months for the past year or so and I have gotten some really good critiques and having your thoughts on here really makes me encouraged to keep trying. Most of what you have said was a reiteration of past reviews in the WIP forum:

    (8/9/07) http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=8586

    (3/27/07) http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=10426

    On this thread, Splunkle, Radiowar, and JMr all commented pretty much the same as you, although this was a prior iteration of my arrangement. The current one I was focusing on what you suggested, although since you said it for this arrangement, it means I still haven't resolved the problems of clarity, transition, meandering, ... I have had trouble making the flow of ideas seem a little more clear because production side, I don't have much technical ability with FL Studio or Reason, and Audacity/finale really don't cut it in the way of eq'ing and balancing the soundscape. Lengthwise, I'm sure there are excesses, but I left a lot of ideas in because I figured whomever I worked with on production would be able to work with me and give feedback about where to cut more and where to refine more so that the ultimate intention of the song gets communicated.

    To respond to your question regarding instrument usage, I mainly used piano and the strings so that the listener could at least hear some interchange between leading arrangement and the supporting instrumentation. I have also listened to more arrangements with strings and piano from ocremix.org so my ear is better attuned to listening and reproducing those ideas on finale... haha. Not that it makes much sense to write that way.

    The larger idea behind the arrangement is supposed to be a slowed down version of the source material. Since in the actual game, sonic is speeding through this entire thing, I wanted to mold it to have a more scenic understanding of the lava flow. I was intending to have lava reef zone be repeated 3-4 times as the main melody and the transition between each loop be supported by variation on the other parts of lava reef. I tried to emphasize the hanging chord structure variation after the end of each melody iteration because this was a motif other remixers seemed to be doing. Sadorf in his demos even emphasized a descending chord structure and then jumping back up:


    I also tried to add a very slowed down melody of hidden palace in the background, it works, although it will take a lot more work to make it sound natural and balanced with lava reef. It also sounds funny to me sometimes because I took the two melodies and just sort of found a way to stick them together.

    Could you hear any of this?

    Regardless, I thank you for putting in the time to listen and critique this as I haven't had much luck attracting enough attention in the past for getting a lot of feedback, and so I am not sure exactly how to proceed. Now I know that production will probably help shave off the extra time and clear up the transition and ideas here and there. If you do end up reading this comment and have time to respond, I would really be excited to hear more specifically what you meant in your comments.


  2. Thanks for the support. I have been trying to work on this arrangement again, but I set it aside about 5 months ago because I just couldn't listen to it anymore and was running out of stamina to produce more ideas/motifs.

    I don't have any prior arranging experience so this is all from scratch. Let me know if you think you can do anything with it. I am also contacting one or two other people to see if they can support me on arrangement or production side as well since I am just an amateur arranger.


    So, let me see if I understand this correctly.

    You want somebody to take a midi or whatever of your song, and basically remake it in Reason or FL or something? with some sweet mastering and such, and then it will be a collab between you and this production person?

    sounds good to me (if thats the case). I really love this source tune as well. I'll take a listen to your remix when I am not so busy, and I'll see what I Can do :D.

  3. http://www.myspace.com/grandfatherkeyesakashiningpearlywhites

    I have been working on the arrangement for a while, posted it and got suggestions to find someone who can handle production and submit it.

    I produced the track using Finale SongWriter 2007 and modified EQ with Audacity. Samples used by Finale are horrible, the piano in particular and rhythm is very robotic.

    Since I am not well acquainted with Reason and FL yet, I cannot produce at this time but I would like to get this thing submitted so if there are arrangement issues with the judges I can continue working on it again or move onto another arrangement submission.

    PM if you are interested after listening to the file. If you want MIDI or mp3 to check out, I can post it online and send you the link.


  4. I did a sparse cover of this several months ago. I just hit the bricks again and tried to layer the sound better. It still sounds sparse to me and I am having a writer's block on more ideas. I'm planning on putting in two more solos, one focused on a duet with pizzicato and sax and another focused on violin and the sax, and of course a better finale.

    Please let me know what you think!


  5. I like messing around with Audacity and making long compilations of people's remixes on one theme.

    This one is with Alex's marble zone remixes from The Cynic Project. I've spoofed up little areas here and there to keep it interesting for myself. I didn't mess around with 'lost marbles' as much as I might have, but it is 6:00 in the morning now, so I'm going to bed.

    Props to Alex as he puts out awesome music, remix or not. Enjoy the spoofs, it changes it up!

    Part 1 of 2


    Part 2 of 2


  6. I've only listened to the most update version and not any previous ones.

    I wish I could hear your leads in the soundscape better. You need to balance it all out! Then I would definitely love this, it's beautiful!

    If you cleared up the soundscape, I think this would pass. For instance in the beginning, I want to hear the strings a little sharper, but still be in the background. It would sound awesome and you would be able to hear your application of its strong supportive element, specifically feeling the way you wrote it.

  7. From the beginning of the song to :21, you need to work on the balance of the soundscape in WIP2. Also, I could see where you were going with the intro, but the choice of synths is very MIDI-ish in my opinion.

    Change the synth used for the hydrocity section. It's also very generic. And mess with the percussion on the hydrocity section when you get to it, it's still the same as the source.

    After 6 listens, I'll give you a few short things i would do with the ARRANGEMENT.

    If you're not going to bring in a melody from 0:20 to 0:48, cut out that part of the arrangement.

    Cut out 0:49-1:07.

    I think it would do your listeners some good too if you took out two measures of the song between 1:08 and 1:46.

    I think you'll be able to extend the potential of 1:46-2:08. It is very full when you first hear it but upon 3-4 listens, my ear begins to hear the repetition of the basic progression. If you want to rearrange the hydrocity melody and qualify it to the ice cap chord progression, arrangement-wise, you'd be going far. It's something that I really liked about DJP's ice cap hurts (although he didn't rearrange the melody at all, the basic idea of melody over chord progression is still present).

    Since you haven't changed anything from the hydrocity source, I won't comment on it.

    If I were attacking this source, I wouldn't separate hydrocity/ice cap themes so much. It sounds like a 2 song medley with the separation at 2:08. If you're going to keep them totally separate, at the very least, have a hand off transition where there is transfer of the the ice cap melodies momentum into the hydrocity melody.

    This is coming from someone who is a fan of Finale Songwriter and Audacity, even though my remixing capabilities are craptastic. Good luck. I think you'll do fine if you can get some help with production. It seems like you're arrangement will be on its way.

  8. cynicmusic/Alex Smith,

    I know you put out a marble zone trance sketches, but I remember the breakbeat remix, which was simple but had a really interesting sound in it from 0:13 - 1:20 as it fades into the back. I heard it very quietly in your marble zone trance sketches, but I thought that either the breakbeats or lost marbles were really awesome explorations that in my mind were in the direction of manifest.

    I don't know if you're still planning on following up with a resub of lost marbles or if you're going to try to submit breakbeats or sketches, but I would be ecstatic to hear a reinvigoration of these pieces.

    Either way, I respect your skills as an artist. Props on your music.

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