I can't really offer any technical suggestions to you, but I really like the way you've arranged this piece. It maintains the integrity of the Bond feel while still having your own style mixed up in it. Though you go into some weird territory with the notes of the source near the end, there's always a stroke of Bond sanity to bring it back within a short time period. Surprisingly enough, this weirdness doesn't destroy the overall feel and cohesiveness, which is definitely a good thing.
It's a really solid track, it's merely suffering from some production issues. Hope you end up sticking with it.
Check out the GoldenEye: Source soundtrack. They've actually done a couple of them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVGYGKRRTuI&fmt=18
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0B1K2mDKxg&fmt=18
