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The Mechanical Serpent (WIP)

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Greetings all, been awhile since I've posted anything so I thought I may as well share this work in progress with you.

I've had this guitar riff for ages and have never put it to use so I decided to do something with it. A few ideas came into mind while working around the main riff and I started to build upon it, I think it flows rather well but the intro might come into place too suddenly. If you are familiar with Symphony X and Dream Theater this certainly falls into a similar category.

So I present you with what I have done so far.

The Mechanical Serpent Ver0.1:


The Mechanical Serpent Ver0.2:


The Mechanical Serpent Ver0.3:


Please bear in mind this is absolutely incomplete and the guitars tone may not sound too great(EDIT: I got off my lazy bum and recorded and panned rhythm guitars and fixed the tone) and the fact there is no bass yet but I'm focusing more on the actual song itself before I worry about mastering the sound. I am well aware of this but feedback is more than welcome.

Thanks and enjoy :).

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Not sure what kind of feedback you want then, so I'll just ignore what you said and just point out what I thought.

First of all, the strings are a bit cheesy, predictable and artificial sounding in the beginning. In other words I don't like that.

Once the guitar riff starts however, the song gets a whole lot better. The guitar is played well. I'm hoping you will implement at least one more guitar track to the next version, so that you'll have guitars on the left and on the right, but not on the dead center.

Other than that...I actually can't think of anything else to say. The wip is only one minute long, so it's hard to criticize the actual song structure or anything at this point. I'd say just finish the song, add another guitar to accompany the one you have now, and do something about the dreadful string intro, and you're good to go (or, post another version).

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Added new section which is the build-up before the first 'verse', I think it flows nicely.

Next version(0.2) up:


Thanks for that little bit of feedback, the strings at the moment are temporary, I've changed to a different set of strings in the new version. I was well aware about the guitars, usually I record a single guitar to get the song going, then I go back and re-record it and record another guitar playing the same thing but pan both to the left and right. So I have panned the rhythm guitars to the left and right as you pretty much requested, changed the tone of the guitars, also altered the section that kicks in straight after the intro.

Next task is to add bass guitar and start working on the basic structure of the whole song.

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