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About Tenkuu

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    Snacks'N Jaxson (+1)

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  • Location
    Savannah, GA


  • Occupation
    College Student
  1. Hey, I've got a WIP I'd like to post- not to mention I'd love to give the others a listen. Can you give me permission to post on the forums (it says I need special access oO")?
  2. Hey everyone, sorry to come in so late. But after we talked earlier, Usa, I think I've decided to join up. I'm glad that even now there's a few of the songs I like left- I'd like to work with Decision Bell, if that's all right. Electric Talk and Ancient Dolphin appeal to me also... maybe if I feel like I can handle 'em, I'll ask to take them on later as well. :3 But for now, just Decision Bell would do. It'd be an honor to be a part of this project; I'm still fairly new to OCR, but I feel like I'm up to the challenge.
  3. Not a problem, Dafydd. And when you're closer to being finished and there's more for me to say, I'll feel free to do so.
  4. Okay, let me be as frank as possible with you, Dafydd. What you've got here isn't bad, but it is definately not a complete song that can hold my interest for very long. Of course, I'm sure it's not a finished product, but let me tell you exactly what it is you need to do before you can think about submitting it. The biggest problem, and the main reason why I wouldn't be able to stand listening to it for long, is that the whole song is basically just one loop that you periodically add things on top of. Its pacing never changes, and by the time we get to the end, you have so many instruments layered that it's really jumbled and I can't appreciate any of the individual samples. There's not really any proper buildup, outside of the addition of instruments, so I also don't get the impression that the song is going anywhere. Listening to the original Airman theme, I'm seeing some potential for new themes- the only part of it currently present in your remix is the first 20 seconds or so. For instance, listen to the part that comes in at around 0:32 in the original; this is a really neat riff that you could play with, yet you haven't incorporated it. In other words, even listening to the Megaman 2 Gameboy soundtrack, I probably would've had some difficulty figuring out which one you were working with unless it was labeled. Anyway, which parts of the original song you include is up to you, of course. But as it stands, you've got to somehow diversify this mix, and if you don't get the material from the source music, it'll have to come through original solos and such (I would personally suggest doing some of each), and by creating much more interest in your rhythms and melodies. Let me show you what I mean. The way your song structure works now is like this: ( 0:00-0:24 )- I like the bass and the organ-like synth in the background, but the problem here is how repetitive your percussion is. It's the same two seconds of kick/snare and tapping hi-hat over and over again, and I think it'd help a lot to mix things up and, while still keeping the same pacing, reorganizing the kick and snare in a less predictable manner. Not to mention this 24 second section is really just the same 12 seconds looped twice. ( 0:24-0:48 )- Here's where you come in with the electric guitar. I agree with BlueMagic about the sample; see if you can find a better one (I know, it's hard when it comes to electric guitars). But this section, melodically, is again just a 12-second loop played twice, plus you've still got that same repetitive percussion, so although you've added changes, I'm already starting to get bored with your layout. Can you see that all the major divisions so far are at even 12-second intervals? It's another way that the song is too predictable, and you need to change it. ( 0:48-1:12 )- I can barely tell what makes this section any different from the last, except for the fact that you've lengthened the guitar notes a bit. The percussion changes a tiny bit halfway through, but that's really about it. ( 1:12-2:00 )- You've added some cymbal crashes, which is a change- but the pacing remains the same, and the song still moves forward in the same monotonous way it has ever since the beginning. It's also in this section that things start to get muddy- there's so many electric guitar layers that I can't distinguish between them, and the same guitar loop that first came in at 0:24 is still here. Finally, the song ends far too abruptly (which has already been addressed, so I assume you know this already). So all in all, you said yourself that you hadn't worked on it much yet, so I of course won't treat it like you have. But I thought I'd just point some of these things out in case it might help. Diversify, diversify, diversify, is the most important advice I can give- incorporate more of the source material, mix things up way more, and feel free to add lots of your own melodic tangents as well. All that will make this song much more listenable, and I look forward to when you've managed to make some enhancements. Good luck.