I love the production value behind this song, definitely fitting the military aspect of MGS. However, as said before, throw some extra stuff in the middle section to make it less meandering. And the brass section after the MGS theme sounds like a build-up to something that doesn't come. Perhaps a last rendition of the theme or a return of the quiet opening secion would help.
Other than that: a well-executed take, considering the popularity of the source material.