Sam Ascher-Weiss
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Posts posted by Sam Ascher-Weiss
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Liontamer was correct in his assertion that the arrangement was at it's strongest from 2:57 to 4:02 with the added brass and timpanis and during the acceleration at 2:00. Otherwise, him and Zyko already covered the basses as far as what's missing.
I would suggest you aim for something shorter than 4:45 next time. Try little things like when the melody is holding a note for a while, another instrument in the same register can play a line that sounds nice with that note and then settle into a note that will sound good with the next part of the melody. I would suggest you keep yourself from using things like harps and choirs because they are easy ways to make smaller sections sound much bigger so without them you will be forced to more significantly develope your orchestration skills. Same goes for any sort of percussion, especially timpanis. IF YOU WANT TO LEARN TO WALK THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS GET RID OF THOSE CRUTCHES!!.... or I think that would make it easier anyway.
So when I'm saying NO to this song.... I'm really saying YES to you developing further as a musician.
n0
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HAHAHAHAHA Start the track by dying NICE! Death is always a suitable place to start from I find. WOW good stuff all around. The three melodic parts.... center left and right work SO WELL TOGETHER... it's amazing. So full yet not crowded.... great improvisational approach to the melody. Stuff like at 3:13 is brilliant, when the instruments are talking to eachother..... like a real ensemble when one person plays something then another person spontaeneously echoes it. The fast filter envelope on one of the guitars sounds like water bubbles sometimes causing crazy textures! I LOVE IT!
YeS
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Thanks a bunch for the source! That makes things MUCH easier. Funny Ending.... in a good way.
Tremolo string whole notes and piano are cool for a while. Unforunately they form the core of the arrangement for the first 1:45. The melody is at first handled by an oboe or english horn doubled an octave below by something that I can't quite make out. Letting up on those tremolo strings would really help, but then things might feel too empty so you'd have to replace them with something. In the second half of the melody, things get a bit more dense but compositionally it's still the same basic elements.... the melody part [doubled or harmonized], the obligato-ish figure this time in the bells instead of the piano, and the backdrop which is still tremolo strings. There's some other stuff, like barely audible counter melodies on some brass instruments, but that stuff is too subtle to make a difference. What results is three minutes of liquid. This mix sounds like a single note being sustained for three minutes on a VERY COMPLEX instrument.... yet it is still the SAME instrument and the SAME note for three minutes.
The source tune had drums and an active bass line to breath life into the somewhat boring harmonic/melodic concepts here. If you take out the rhythmic interest of the original, you MUST fill in the holes that you have created.
n0
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http://www.snesmusic.org/spcsets/ct.rsn - "Battle with Magus" (ct-2-24.spc)
There's definitely alot to be proud of here!
There are some sections where the melody is at the front and everything else is supporting it. It's being doubled by a quiet string and the bass line is right in there holding everything in place. [1:15 - 1:30 is a good example]. In other sections, things are crowded and there is little focus. At 1:30 and 2:17, there are many moving parts and the melody itself isn't given much power. Since you effectively ADD 2 eighth notes to the end of each measure, the melody will have a tendency to drag and you had the right idea to compensate by having the other parts be more active but when this happens you need to do more to draw attention to the melody. Doubling it an octave above or below can help.... or maybe doulbing it in another instrument that plays the same notes but doesn't hold them, instead it stutters them [while the melody plays B, A the other instrument would be playing: B, B, B, B, A, A, A, A etc....] This problem occurs in several sections of the song.
At 3:05 you did a great job of arranging the part of the source with the screams of agony. You had to compensate for the exciting rhythms of the original and what the flute plays sounds great though the flute itself could have been louder. This is a VERY long mix at 6:34 and it's tough to keep something that long from growing dull after a while. There are parts like 3:25 where not much is happening and nothing up to that point has convinced me that that lack of action will be worth sitting through. The arrangement ideas at 5:49 could be used in other parts of the piece to strengthen it. The mixing is a bit uneven there so the drums should have been quiter.
Here are some possible solutions
The first 43 seconds are acceptable as a way to introduce the theme. Everything from 0:43 until 1:15 also works well to set the back drop for the melody's entrance. The first time through the melody is fine. The second time when you add the additional part, layer the melody either with stuttering or an octave above/below. It would also serve you during this section to occasionally have either the bass or drums drop out for a bar or two to remind us of how important they are. The little guitar interlude sounds good but you should then skip ahead to 2:13 bypassing the orchestra hit section. Then when you bring the melody back, do more to make it stand apart from the previous section by using things like the drums at 2:42. The way you treated the next part of the melody was fine though I have a minor qualm [at 2:03 the bass note should have switched to a B]. Then when you do the "turn-around" from the source, highlight the part you wrote for the flute by doulbing it or making it louder and staccato. You've also earned a right to repeat that turn-around a few more times since it sounds really good. At this point you should skip ahead to the ideas at 5:50 but you can apply them to as you call it "the herioc part of the theme". Have things build on that feel and then you can end it.... there's no rule that says a ReMix has to be over six minutes and this would benefit from being a lot shorter.
Okay.... so It's easy to see that these are just some possibilities. I'm trying to open up options for you. Right now the song drags and a lot of the sections are cluttered... not as a result of having too much going on, but of not giving any specific element center stage which causes confusion. I like the way you approached this by giving a plot to your ReMix that relates to the game. It definitely comes through.
n0 (Resubmit)
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http://www.ocremix.org/songs/original/starfox.rsn - "1-23 Star Fox - Boss (Titania)"
Holy Crap... that tempo change at 1:45 was like William J. Sidis level GENUIS!! It's funny... I never thought I'd be arguing to defend something's right to be this repetitive and I might be alone in this but I think this mix is like Andy Kaufman's mighty mouse routine. He doesn't do anything for the whole time and then all of a sudden "HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY". The synth throughout is pretty generic and it's incredibly rendundant alot of the time with not much happening [though there is a good deal of subtle variation]. Here's the thing though: during the middle part the synth line switches up plenty and then the gradual acceleration the second time through the pattern.... oh man it's JUST RIGHT. After that it's pretty boring again, though there's a bit more going on than at the beginning.
Okay... after thinking more about this I've realized two things. Number one: my favorite part of the song [the tempo change] was possibly unintentional and is more of a personal taste. I just LOVE SUPRISES and I totally didn't expect it. After listening to the song several more times I've come to realize that the effect loses it's charm once I know it's coming.... not to mention the fact that unlike Andy Kaufman's Mighty Mouse, this part is NOT the end and therefore is easily forgotten when it is followed by the upcoming blandness. Number 2: while this song does represent the source and sounds different genre wise, it doesn't actually expand upon any of the material presented by the source. It just makes minor adjustments to the original in order to get it to fit with the vibe of the rest of the track.
This mix is in dire need of more expansion on the source and a more developed arrangement/less generic sounds.
n0
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http://www.snesmusic.org/spcsets/ct.rsn - "Undersea Palace" (ct-3-08.spc]
I'm not going to go into your sounds or compositional aspects or whatever because there is a larger issue at stake. I've noticed you have a tendency to do the same thing with all of your submissions. You take one reference to the source tune [some more overt than others] and just repeat it over and over with your pitch shifted vocals and drum loopish stuff. It's possible that you submitted this before receiving the feedback on your previous mixes. If this is the case then I look foward to hearing what you come up with once you've had a chance to consider the suggestions made by the panel.
n0
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http://www.snesmusic.org/spcsets/sm.rsn - "1-20 Super Metroid - Brinstar Star Red Soil Swampy Area"
DAMMIT! I liked this song.... but It doesn't qualify as a remix in my mind. You used one of the figures from the source over and over and vaguely hinted at the melody on occasion, then at 2:20 you bring it in on a pwidthmod pad where it's being covered up by other instruments and only lasts for a little while.
YOU NEEDED TO BRING THAT MELODY IN EARLIER AND BUILD THE SONG AROUND IT! Also the one part of the original that you do keep throughout.... you changed two of the notes! In your key [the original was in Eb and you moved it to F] it should have been F, Bb, F, F, Bb, Eb but you replaced all of the B flats with Cs and sometimes added Ab, Bb, or Bb, C at the end which gets rid of all the phrasing! Normally there's nothing wrong with this, however when you're depending on that one motif by itself to represent your sourcetune for most of the song, you'd better not tamper with it!
Okay anyway, there's a lot of good stuff here but it doesn't matter because this isn't truly a remix... it's an original featuring some super metroid material.
Vote change
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Good Stuff! Gradually evolving textures, ambient percussion and the like to paint a lush atmosphere with timbral depth to spare. Innovative use of limited, though powerful, source material and intoxicatingly hypnotic rhythms. I can easily sum up this mix in one word:
YeS
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http://www.tzone.org/~llin/psf/packs2/FF7_psf.rar - 110 "Fighting"
I was all ready to NO this at first but after a few more listens I was converted. My biggest qualm is the almost constant loudness [i'm choosing not to use the word dynamic] but there are enough contrasting sections like at 2:23 to make up for that... and even if there weren't, there's plenty of music of this nature out there with the same unflinching loudness and it's considered acceptable.. not to mention that I have commited similar offenses on a number of occasions.
What first won we over was stuff like 1:42. The lack of low frequencies in the melodic parts here brought out the strength of the delay instrument and clap drum rhythms. The piano and bass re-entrance ruined that for a second until I realized it was being used to set up the more open section at 2:08. That seems to be a constant in this song. There's fullness that starts to feel overwhelming and then just in time things open up giving me some room to breath and showcasing the rhythmic elements of the mix. I love when it happens again at 2:50 with the toms and all that goodness.
It's always fun to end with a phased piano!
YeS
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http://perso.wanadoo.fr/dazeland/SuperMario1.zip - Track 1 <- Zophar's NSF section is down for some reason!
Very Cute!
Some people might be cool with this since it's got personality but for me the poor execution ruins it. The sax sample is awfull and its solo was weak. You left the pizzicato melody part playing while the solo was taking place along with some intrusive brass chords. The extreme panning came close to salvaging this section but it fell a bit short. Drums are repetitive and the honky tonk piano solo traded back and forth between sounding mechanical and then all too human interms of sloppiness.
Personality and pizazz do count for something, but it is my belief that if you're going for this sort of "concept" mix, the arrangement has to be extra-tight. The crappy samples wouldn't matter if the sax solo wasn't all over the place and actually played off the pizzicato melody and brass chords instead of competing with them. Also you could have made it sound as though the drummer was awake and paying attention to the rest of the ensemble. As far as genre authenticity is concerned... if this was supposed to be "boogie-woogie", as is implied by the title and bass line, then it should have been in swing time and not straight-eights.
n0
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Very very very sloppy here. Many instruments take turns doubling the melody and often they are not in sync. The sounds are jarring and the mixing is completely unbalanced... lot's of clipping as well, good use of panning though. The arrangement goes nowhere.... so many problems and there's no real need to list them all.
I think it's a result of your inexperience and it doesn't make you a bad composer/arranger, it just means that you need more time to develop. I'm impressed that you've continued to submit songs after two rejections. That shows great strength of character! Anyway I'm sorry to say
n0
I was able to find a midi of the laboratory song but not of the gallery. Good luck Larry!
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http://www.atarihq.com/tsr/nsf/balloon.zip - Track 1
Most of the melodic synth in this piece is but a step above the quality of the NSF. It's obvious that's how you wanted them to sound, though I'm not sure why, however I won't let that largely effect my decision.
What will effect my decision is the lack of anything substantial happening here. The swing drums are fun, and the break at 1:23 with the "reversal" effects was mildly entertaining but none of it made up for the mundane nature of the rest of the mix. There was one section I loved. It's the part at 3:15 where the charleston chords come in on a guitar-ish instrument and then the bass starts to add lib and stuff. You kept the original melody but injected the bass line and it sounds excellent. Unfortunately this is too little too late and not nearly enough for me to pass this.
Too much emptiness/repitition for such plain sounds accompanied by cutie pie swing drumloops!
n0
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a very merry YES
GORGEOUS LOOKING YES!!
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http://www.tzone.org/~llin/psf/packs2/FFX_psf2.rar - 204 "Silence Before the Storm"
First off it took me a while to adjust to hearing this song in A instead of Bb and I have to say, that while this may be a personal opinion, it sounds 300 times better in Bb. Uematsu is the man when it comes to key choices, so you should keep that in mind. Anyway I won't let that effect my judgement, so here goes.
You took alot of the juice out of the chord progression at 0:48. The original [i'm transposing to A for your sake] went B-7, Cmaj7, Ab-7, F#-7, A-7. You took the two chords that travel the the furthest away from A-Minor [Ab-7 and F#-7] and replaced them with much safer ones [A- and Bb]. The brilliance of the original progression was that it strayed away from the tonic in order to return from a minor third below giving the second section a real jump start. In your version this effect is completely lost. On top of that you removed almost all tensions [9, 11, 13] and 7ths from the chords which is part of what originally made them so beautiful. Luckily Uematsu, being the genius that he is, put alot of these notes in the melody so by simply sticking closely to the source you manage to make up for the harmonically limited accompaniment part.
There's also alot of inappropriate pedalling in here. Chords that shouldn't bleed into eachother do so on a regular basis. Everything Uematsu does [key choice, chord progression, phrasing of the melody] is always done with a very specific purpose in mind, so if you're gonna change any of it without totally altering the feel of the song, then you better have a damn good reason. Interms of arrangement style this was very very very close to the original minus the detractors that I pointed out earlier.
Ok then, I think you picked a wonderfull source tune and I commend you on that. Rather than just putting back the original chord progression, I think it would better to try to make a greater stylistic departure from the original. You could start my having you left hand move twice as fast, or try playing the melody in chords instead of single notes. Also, Uematsu leaves holes in the melody here that you are more than welcome to fill in... you can think of it like call and response with Uematsu doing the calling and you doing the responding. Finally, careful with the pedalling. If you're playing this live than It's hard for me to help you with out being there physically and it's something you should talk to your teacher about. If it's being sequenced, just make sure that you send a Controller #64 = 0 a few seconds before every chord that doesn't sound good when played simultaenously with the chord before it.... if you can't tell the difference between chords that go good together and ones that don't, it'd be safer to just un-pedal before every bar [there's a new chord just about every bar in this song].
n0
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Say What? tick tick tick tick tick tick percussion on every beat starting at 2:23 and 1:12 makes my ears bleed. There are alot of physically painfull elements in this mix similar to that, like the rhythm guitar at 0:42 that's panned dead center accompanied by a dry tick every other strum. There's a whole lot of emptiness contrasted by sections that are full only in the sense that the sounds are overpowering and sonically domineering. Okay enough of the bad stuff!
The delay instrument that joins the rhythm guitar at 1:00 is nice. The break at 1:30 leading into the temporary groove shift is silky smooth. I like the harmonies on the second time through the second part of the melody though there's a bit of rhythmic akwardness in the guitar parts there and in the solo as well.
Your submission e-mail hinted that you see this mix as unfinished. It's plenty of nothing contrasted with some interesting ideas accompanied by some pretty unpleasant drums. I KNOW YOU'RE MORE CAPABLE THAN THIS! I'm just gonna chalk it up to laziness on your part.
N0
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I would not call this an orchestral mix. It is a mix that features orchestral instruments which is a comepletely different breed. This song goes nowhere from start to finish but there's enough variation for me to feel like it was aiming for some sort of developement. What causes this variation to fall short of actual developement is as Vig said "uniformity". The soundscape is the same throughout, instrumentally, harmonically, dynamically, rhythmically... however you want to look at it.
Strings are beautifull but they can easily go stale by hanging around too long in the same whole note role all song. Occasionally replacing the strings with some sort of ambient arpegiations and minimalizing your use of the "african drum loop" would set this song well on it's way to being more colorful as Vig suggested it should be.
Finally, something that bothers me that I don't know if anyone else has a problem with. The D in the melody over the Db in the bass sounds terrible. First occurrence of this is at 0:25. Please people, let me know I'm not all alone in my feelings here. It happens several times during the song and does not sound intentional.
NO
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WINGLESS made a good point.... NO WAY!!!! The section starting at 2:30 is pretty boring and repetitive though it did follow an action packed portion of the mix so I can understand the idea of giving the listener a break..... I just don't take kindly to breaks.*
Otherwise great stuff that I usually hate genre-wise but this one did suprisingly well with me. The solo was fun and the scale stuff afterwords made me happy. I am in love with the rhythm part underneath the solo. Also the synth interludes are good icing.
Can't wait for that Journeyman business. THE EXPERTS IN AUDIO ENGINEERING!
YeS
*I too have now referenced the sexual harassment panda episode Larry
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Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=51338
Little bit of info about the mix:
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The track is "Rainbow Road" from "Super Mario Kart", an already well-covered piece of music. Most of the inspiration for the mix was given to me from the original track itself - I decided to take the original, and augment its ideas rather than reconstitute them entirely, by keeping the harmony mostly the same, but adding new rhythms, a different time signature (5/4, which is where it gets it's name 'pentagon'), some new sections (giving the track a longer, more song-based structure), and also gave it a bit of a drill/d'nb feel with the percussion. The original had quite a modern jazz feel so I kept that in mind and chose instruments that I felt would be most associable with that, for instance, sax and rhodes, and introduced more electronic synth pads and arpeggiations.
Also of note; this is a resubmission of a track I submitted back in December [was judged through February] where it was a stroke away from a YES. It's still not full audio production, and uses retro sounds, which is for the reason that I'm currently not in posession of anything "better", and I feel it works for the mix's purposes (aforementioned); augmentation of the original material. I've revised things to be a little less 'chaotic', made more panning/volume/mixing adjustments and all that boring stuff!
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Remixer Display Name: B1itz Lunar
Real Name: Dave Harris
E-mail Address: daveharris.lunar@gmail.com
Site: http://lunar.shakal.net/
... and of course, I hope you enjoy it
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This song is amazing! So full of ideas and creativity. I think the 5/4 works just fine. It does have a 4 + 1 feel sometimes but I much prefer that to the all too cliché 3 + 3 + 2 + 2! Also allowing the fifth beat to sometimes feel seperated from the rest of the bar makes the transition into 4/4 into a beautifull release. I'm pretty sure this was intentional on the part of the ReMixer because the 5/4 doesn't always feel disjointed... only when it's being used to build tension.
The retro sound quality works with the vibe of the mix and also was intentional on the part of the mixer. The percussion is constant but it is well respected by the other instruments which keeps it from feeling intrusive. The breakdown at 2:10 is GORGEOUS! The teamwork in the instruments is extra-ordinary... everyone knows their role and they all support eachother.
I understand that some people might find this song annoying. I could imagine that if you put it on while trying to do something else, or if you don't give it your full attention, it could be quite irritating... but I only listen to music in a completely concentrated state so I have no problem with it. That's what this song demands of its listener and for all the wonderfull stuff in here it certainly deserves it!
YeS
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Bitrate aside, there's nothing in this mix that warrants it being twelve minutes long or for that matter being called a concerto.
This draaaaaaaaaaaaags. Like Liontamer, I'm not going to go on about my minor gripes because the only hope for this song would come from it being a hell of alot shorter. How about three or four minutes? That way you could bring up the bitrate and then maybe we could talk a little bit more about the arrangement. All I can say is.... think "concerto for piano and ORCHESTRA" it seems to me at the moment you're not that capable of orchestral writing. I suggest you get some more practice in that department before bringing a soloist to the table.
nO
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3:30 was cool for a second there. I'm glad you said progressive in your e-mail cause that way when I condemn the lack of creativity in this song I can't be accused of genre prejudice.
Mellow stuff around 2:00 was nice. Strongest point in this mix according to ME is rhythimcally stuttered notes starting at 2:23 but by then my brian is just SCREAMING for some stimulation so a little goes a long way*.
Thinking of "progressive" material, much more creative and dynamic work comes to mindThat about sums it on up. Ain't nothin progressive about this whole mess. From your comments though it seems that you're pretty satisfied with your work here, and that's a real accomplishment. Seriously keep that mind set. I know alot of great musicians who hate their work. THEY'VE GOT NOTHING ON YOU MENTALLY!
No
*I realize I accidentally wrote brian instead of brain so it appears as though I am referring to how my "life partner's" appetite is easily satisfied by my inferior equipment. My bad!
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Good for you! You hardly had to use any snare drums yet the groove was tight regardless!
Otherwise I'm just gonna echo Larry and Harmony.... it's too repetitive. What's there is great especially the almost no snare drum thing. I gotta try that, it makes everything feel so loose. 2:30 was such a relief when it finally happened as was the new percussion at 2:45. It's so great how you unexpectedly leave certain beats unspoken for in the drums which makes my body want to fill in those holes with movement. I can't keep still. Lovely!
Try going for maybe three minutes instead of five next time and come up with at least three distinct musical ideas in those three minutes. If you do that then unless the first two ideas are under thirty seconds long, the song will be incapable of repeating too much. Just a suggestion, there are other ways to keep things from being too repetitive but that one's the easiest.
NO
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I LOVE THE WAY THIS SOUNDS.... alot of it anyway!
The source material is definitely in here and even though it's not here that often, other than the flute solo every thing melodic that happens in this mix is from the source allowing it to play a central role. That is GOOD and BAD! It's good cause it pays homage to the source by making it important and it's bad because your star player is only in a couple scenes! I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that everything from 0:00 to 2:33 works. DON'T CHANGE ANY OF THAT! I don't care about the "fakeness" of the brass. Sure it could sound better but that's not a make-or-brake thing for me. At 2:33 when the string enters and the section repeats all of a sudden it becomes clear: NOTHING IS HAPPENING! If the source melody had re-entered there you could have continued to develop it over that groove. When the source comes back at 2:50 it's played by some incredibly weak brass. By this point you've totally lost me. That melody needs to come to the front and the low level of the brass + the continued string presence make that impossible here.
After that, the melody makes its exit again [end of cameo]. See, when this happened in the first 2:30, I felt like you were wetting my appetite but by this point my patience has run out. SOLUTION: Keep everything until 2:30 and then incorporate the melody more strongly into everything that follows with more attention payed to consistency. Up to that point you've been changing the feel every other second, you've got to let it settle down at some point. Either that or this needs much more action to distract me from the constant changes and that's not the direction I see this mix is heading in.
There are some great ideas in this thing. You need to unleash it's full potential!
NO(Resubmit)
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Little variety from start to finish, piano was a nice touch. Lots of delay/reverb/release making things slushy a good portion of the time. This would be okay if it wasn't happening during all 3:20 of the Mix.
Cool Original, sounds much better in Eb. You should have left it there! I'm glad you chose such an interesting source-tune. I suggest you start again with a different song and for an excercise try arranging whatever you choose at 75% of the tempo of the source. That will FORCE you to come up with more arrangement ideas otherwise the song will drag. DO IT!
NO
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Noriko Matsueda Style! Lots and Lots of layers but so well organized that more = more instead of less!
Everthing fits together like jigsaw music! It's important to modify the groove every now and again like at 1:26. Nobody outstays their welcome in this here ReMix. 2:22 section's extreme redundancy is rectified by the guest lecturer who shows up there.
Absolutely solid production. SOLID
YES
MARRIAGE IS GOOD!
*NO* Dragon Warrior 2 'Anguished Beyond Words'
in Judges Decisions
Posted
This is MUCH better than "Where Force Stood Still". The sloppiness is gone, the pace doesn't grind to a halt on a regular basis and interesting harmonies occur much more frequently. So.... I'd say it just about meets the standards of OCR. This is definitely the best piano mix I've heard from you to date.
YeS