Liontamer Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=13682 Remixer: Hollidayrain Name: Sreyas Krishnan Email Address: sreyaskr@msn.com Website: www.soundclick.com/hollidayrain Game: Wario Land 3 (Game Boy) Song arranged: Closing Credits Theme Title: Dancing in the Box Link to song: First off, I really want to thank you guys for your criticism on the first one. They really helped me both make some changes to this piece as well as my production altogether. A couple of changes you will notice immediately are the oboe solo at the beginning and the less disgusting clap. I also cut down on the 'machine-gun' snare rolls, and really altered my interpretation of the original theme by adding both a countermelody and even an alternate melody. -Hollidayrain ------------------------------------------------------------------- http://snesmusic.org/hoot/gbs/Wario%20Land%203%20(2000)(Nintendo).zip - Track 21 The mixing's a bit too bright. Some of the frequencies in the intro felt piercing. The beats brought in at :22 sounded pretty skimpy and untreated, IMO. Meanwhile, the delay on everything left the soundscape feeling somewhat swamped. Without pulling that back too much, I'd tone that down a little. Moved over into an original electronic section at :44 returning to the melody at 1:18. Seems to me like the supporting beats are too loud compared to the melody, leaving the melody fighting to be heard. Same with the countermelody at 3:15, it just barrels over the lead. Definitely some better variations of the theme at 1:47. Wasn't feeling the lead choice at 2:15/3:29; it's a pretty ugly sound. Overall, the textures could still use some work, both with the sound balance among the parts and choosing sounds that are pleasing and not generic. There's a lot of stuff you could do with the current sounds to bring about a more unique-sounding electronic mix. The drumwork at 3:16 felt pretty retread-ish despite employing some off-beats and being structured differently than the 1:49 section; I'd appreciate another J making suggestions on how to keep the beats sounding interesting. I did think the last original section at 3:58 didn't fit at all as a bookend to the track. Stylistically, it wasn't similar at all to the upbeat source tune and made for an awkward finish. Overall on the arrangement side, things were a lot more creative and dynamic, so props there. Adjusting the sound balance would only bring out the dynamics of the arrangement more. But really now, this needs a spit polish on the sound quality. I wouldn't slave away at this for a long time, Sreyas, but I'd use the resources here to see what you could do in a couple of weeks to upgrade the sounds and position the parts where they need to be. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Feeling this version over the last version. An improvement both in the writing and producing. Good changes in melody and chords at 1:18-1:45 and 3:02-3:29. But this still has a fair number of problems you'll have to fix. The delay on the intro is a little much and the melody is hard to make out. At 0:22 the drums sounded too upfront, and they still sound a little low-quality. Overall, they may even have too much reverb now. The kick at 0:50 definitely shouldn't have that much reverb on it; it muddies the soundscape. 1:18 was a strange transition because of how the strings fade out. The lead at 2:15 is a little overpowering and it doesn't sit as well as previous leads. It probably needs some of its lower, competing frequencies toned down. I think the biggest problem is that the piece is muddy and needs EQ for separation and less reverb/delay on certain parts. I also thought that the beats got a little old by the end, possibly because the same samples are used for most of the song. At 1:32, it might have been cool to hear new samples to go with that new drum pattern. Some volume changes in your percussion patterns would make this sound less bland, i.e. not having every hi-hat play at exactly the same volume. Some samples are also a little loud, like the percussive clicks starting at 0:44. Try comparing your drums to a similar song to get a better sense of where the levels should be. What you have is good, but it can be tightened up. This is coming together, Sreyas, and I'd like to see you stick with it, if you're still up for it. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 The intro does, as Larry pointed out, seem very bright and also a bit too much reverb. The notes seem to be clashing more than they should because of it. The beats at :22 was a good idea but they do feel a bit unrelated, again like Larry said. Try using some light cymbals, triangle, shaker or something light that fits the mood. Larry was spot on once again when he said the supporting beats in the new section was too loud. The lead doesn't have enough meat or volume to really work as a lead when the backing is that loud. The new lead at 2:14 sounds a bit too wide and muffled. I do like what it's playing but the sound in itself sounds very strange together with the rest of the track. Evolving some of your beatwork in this track would also help it get over the bar. The simple pattern you have going does change up sometimes but the snare and hi-hat sounds sound very weak compared to the massive kick and bass you have. Some changes from the ongoing 16th pattern you have would also help it feel less repetitive. Try making some 32nd notes or just skipping a few 16th once in a while, it makes the track feel less static. The arrangement is pretty creative all around but bringing in the out-of-key notes in the 3:58 section really took a lot of the mood you had built up with the rest of the track. Feels out of place using those notes that are more commonly associated with a minor key. The same issue at 0:50->, it just feels very out of place with the minor key-change. This is quite promising though so keep at it while keeping this advice in mind. NO(resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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