Liontamer Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Rozovian ad.rozovian@gmail.com #21613 "Eat Your Own Dust" F-Zero (snes) Red Canyon This was a track I've had on my mind for a while, and had worked out the melodies months before inspiration struck. When it did I pieced the whole thing together in a couple of days. Then it took me a lot of tweaks and exports (mostly exports), and then... here it is. I got some crucial feedback on the #ocrwip channel, Tensei-San deserves a particular mention in the submission letter. For anyone needing help, music critique, or general feedback, use the channel. -rho --------------------------------------------------------------- http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=fz - "Red Canyon" (fz-03.spc) Yeah, I remember giving comments on the WIP. Good stuff so far. The background of the theme was brought in at :06 and faded up nicely, adding in some beats at :35. After the beats came in, and the stuttering synth didn't stand out anymore, I realized the overall sound quality was a lot murkier than the WIP I last heard. Didn't seem like a huge enough problem to criticize until the lead came in at 1:09. The synth lead for the melody at 1:09 was getting obscured thanks to the cluttered mixing. Interesting use of what sounded like a repurposed guitar synth. Cool stuff at 1:50 with the liberal arrangement on top of the source's beat pattern, though the lead was arguably a bit shrill. Not a big deal, but you may want to touch that up. Nice dropoff of the beats from 2:51-3:26. The key change at 3:26 wasn't a bad idea in principle, but at this point the arrangement should offer something different/contrasting rather than basically going back to same ideas and structure. I liked the very ending though, the last few seconds were a good close. The production could stand to be refined a little, but was good overall; just needs some tweaks. The arrangement and dynamics were pretty good, but I'd argue the length doesn't justify the overall repetition from 3:26-4:53/end. One could argue this could have wrapped up around 3:26. Besides the key change, the arrangement felt like an extended dose of more of the same (melodic arrangement, beats, tempo, dynamic changes) and dragged as a result. We'll see how the others feel though. Definitely a strong effort, with some interpretive ideas. Beyond the repetition concerns, just touch up the production so there's less clutter, and this could be good to go. NO (refine/resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I see you a lot on the WIP boards, but I don't think I've ever heard anything of yours, Rozovian. Cool to see you submitting. Solid build-up, but I thought things were slightly cluttered, and a little muddy in the bass regions due to the filtering. The very opening strings also get quite piercing and loud - I'd tone those down. When the lead comes in at 1:10, it competes with the lower rhythm guitar-like synth and needs to be given more room, possibly made fatter. That there is probably my biggest issue with the song. Nice interpretations in the next few minutes, keeping the bass intact sometimes, modifying it others, changing chords, and making short references to the melody in the solo section. I was disappointed to hear repetition of an earlier section after the key change, but I thought 3:59 to the end was a decent way to close it out, ending the way it started. It's definitely close, but like Larry, I'm gonna call it a NO. I'd like to see you fix the production issues and add a little more variety to the last minute and a half. Could easily see this one picking up YESes cause I thought it was on the border. Good luck. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 Hej Rozovian :3 kul att äntligen få höra någon av dina arrangemang! Putting Swedish aside, let's get on with the judging! One of the first things I notice is how overpowered the bass seems. Even on a pair of "flat" studio headphones (beyerdynamic if anyone asks) the bass is just really loud'n'low. Try either toning it down a bit or pullig off some resonance on the low-pass filter. Another loudness issue with the intro strings, very piercing like Vinnie said. Otherwise the intro was a well made build-up that really worked. The lead at 1:10 is indeed competing with the the synth texture on the right side of the stereospectrum. I suggest toning down the right hand synth to give the lead a bit more room instead of just pumping the volume up. EQing away some clashing frequencies is probably a good idea. Arrangement-wise this is some nice work ! Subtle variation is always good. The guitar-sounding synth is well-handled although the short phrases could be more varied in terms of how they're played, toy with the note-length, legato and staccato. That was pretty minor though. Some rather drastic changes during the last minute would keep this from feeling repetitive. Otherwise the source was handled well and the ending was good. I think the main issue is the production. The bass frequencies needs to go down, try an EQ on the master channel. Pulling back some of the "less important" instruments in terms of frequencies or volume would also help to make this less cluttered and muddy. Arrangement could use additional variation but is still strong. Try to fix as many of the production issues as you can, tinker a bit with the final minute and I think this will be on the front page soon. NO(resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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