Liontamer Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=14885 1st RESUB: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=16616 * Bastian * bastianbux@yahoo.com * http://myspace.com/bastian Submission Information * Legend of Zelda and Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past * Overworld, Princess Zelda's Theme * Composer: Koji Kondo Third time's the charm? I spent a couple days working on the mix, re-recorded a few parts, recorded a couple new parts, and finally did some EQing for the first time on a song. I might have nailed it this time around. -------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.zophar.net/nsf/zelda.zip - Track 1 ("Title") http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=loz3 - "Princess Zelda's Rescue" (loz3-22.spc) On the production side, the piano introing this still sounded very fake and should have been improved. On one hand, the lack of realism of the sample made it a reasonable idea to keep it, and the higher strings later on, quiet. On the other hand, those parts really should have been louder, because they're marginalized as is. There was some sort of hand percussion or something brought in at 2:31 that created a quiet but odd noise every beat. Not sure what it was supposed to be, but it ended up sounding like an audio deformation rather than a legit instrument. There were some light distortion from about 2:53-2:55 that later grew into BAD distortion around 3:13. Gotta watch those levels; I'm not chastising, but that stuff shouldn't be happening. You did a better job bringing in the voices and instruments in layers instead of starting off with the full boat early on, but the build still needs to be more pronounced. In other words, you're maybe 75% of the way there in executing that change, but you need to make it even easier to pick up on that build. I'll tell you what, I think the vocal panning and EQing could still be better refined, but continued to improve; again, you're clearly going in the right direction. The improvement compared to the last version is more subtle this time, but it's there. I don't think you necessarily need to re-record or restructure anything. The final section does escalate, but still has too much of a retread-ish feel compared to the other two iterations. If the dynamic curve were more pronounced like the writing implied, I could conditionally pass it. Perhaps adding a prominent countermelody could be the ticket to the last section not feeling like the same stuff over again as well as further bolster the energy and escalation of the finish. Basically, some similar crits from last time, but you've managed to address them to some extent. As is, I'm borderline NO, but I think whatever advice we can give to nudge this up, we should offer it. Further suggestions on how to get the production sounding more appropriate as well as arrangement suggestions that aren't too involved would be great. Definitely don't be discouraged, Bastian. Use the Works forum to post this up and get some good feedback. Holler at other active ReMixers. Feel free to message me to take a listen before you attempt to sub this again; I'll let you know how it's coming along. But what I like over the course of these resubs is that you're tangibly improving this piece on each go, and the experience is hopefully helping you build up your overall skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Cool to see you sticking this one out for so long. This is an obvious improvement over the last version I heard (I didn't hear the last resubmit). Much better dynamics than the last version. The section with just your vocals is excellent and pretty much captures the Enya wall-of-voices sound. There are still problems with this arrangement but they are smaller. The piano gets marginalized very quickly, drowned out by the vocals, and still has a cheap quality to it. I think something louder and more-natural sounding would help. Certain vocal harmonies still grate on me a little, though I think that gets a little subjective. The big problem that persists from the previous version is that too many elements occupy the low-mid ranges. It's basically like you took the Enya song and moved the vocals down an octave or two. You can see how that would be a problem, right? Maybe emphasizing your higher-range singing would help mitigate that, and making the piano stronger might help too. You've really improved this one dramatically. The parts have good separation thanks to your EQing, and the dynamics of the song are solid. It's close to the border now, and I think with one more pass at it, this would be good to go. Just close it out, Bastian. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Wait, what?! So, arrangement-wise this is really cool. The concept is fantastic and your voice works very well here. Suffers a bit from the production and it wouldn't hurt with an additional (original) counter-melody like Larry said. Still, I think this is a solid arrangement that really works. Production-wise you have some issues though. Your voice needs to mixed a bit better, you can't really hear the articulations here. Some EQ that enhances the natural frequencies and clearness of the song would help ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voice_frequency might be good for you.. check it out! ). Piano and strings sound quite fake. To hear this with some great sounding samples would be fantastic. Larry mentioned a lot of valid production crits and I agree with all, especially the distortion around 3:13. Some more separation is also needed for this to sound it's best. This still needs more work before I can pass it though. Cool concept is brought down by a mediocre production. Try getting some advice in #ocrwip and work hard before you resubmit this again. Looking forward to a more polished version for sure though! NO(resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts