Liontamer Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Remixer:HoboKa Game: Chrono Trigger original: Factory Remix name: Convey Thy Groove Link: Description: Well, I decided to grow up and stop crying about the standard. Sorry about the untoward attitude from before. Although i do wish that you guys would explain more thoroughly why the last two were instantly rejected...as they are technically better than my other remixes insofar. Even if that was just to spite me because of my attitude, I'd like to know. Anyways, this remix is a jazzy/funky re-take of the factory theme. I paid more attention to melody, particularly in the second half of the song, and I emphasized on the rhythm as well - instead of just the usual long, ambient sounds of my older works. Hopefully not too conservative too. Moreover, this track's definitely not as chaotic as the last, and I believe that the direction is more agreeable. Hope you guys enjoy it ----------------------------------------------------------- http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=ct - "Remains of the Factory" (ct-210.spc) The soundscape lacked in the high-end too much; everything sounded distant and muddy. You've gotta bring a little more volume and sheen to the sound. The timing of the bassline and (I guess) layered brass & strings at 1:52 was way too rigid and lacked realism. On the arrangement side, the mood/sound was somewhat different than the source, but there wasn't much difference in the structure. Not bad here, as the arrangement approach of adding original material on top of the source as the foundation was valid. But I wouldn't have minded seeing more interpretation of the actual source tune rather beyond the straightforward backing groove here. All of the original writing on top of the bassline of the source wasn't awful, but it wasn't melodious. That's still your biggest drawback; you really aren't writing cohesive original stuff. Hit some free ear training websites and just spend more time on understanding the building blocks. Keep at it though. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I like the concept here, Alex, but I think I usually like your concepts. The execution always seems to be a problem for you, and I'm going to offer the same criticism as previous subs: your original writing is too random. I think you've improved in this regard since the last sub I heard, but you still have further to go. The brass solo at 2:35-3:00 in particular just sounds like a bunch of random notes you put down. You start phrases off on weird beats and make large jumps in notes way too often. These things have to be done sparingly because they really draw the listener's attention. Use it too much, and you lose the listener. For an example of what worked: the brass at 1:52-2:19ish. You've got a short phrase starting on the 1 beat each time, not doing anything weird, but getting slightly modified each time. Usually good writing comes down to keeping it simple. I thought you were making headway with production, but this is a few steps back for you. The brass samples are pretty bad, and there's a general murkiness to this mix that's off-putting. Before the brass comes in, it's missing any kind of high-frequency instrument, which makes it dull. This would take a lot of work to pass, but unlike some of your other subs, I don't think this needs a structural overhaul, so it could help you to stick with it. It would come down to fixing the partwriting and samples that need to be fixed. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Not much to add after the lengthy shenanigans of my fellow jdgfgts but I'll throw in my two cents... The mix is lacking high end. While the grooves are all well and good there should be some more stuff happening (especially in the high end) to make the first minute interesting. The kickdrum is a bit too loud and the mix seems overcompressed. Melody sequencing seemed very spastic and without any aim. Some more interpretation of the source tune would also have been preferable. Overall this needs work in both production and arrangement. I can't really say much more than this so I wish you luck with a resub or whatever you choose to work on next. Keep improving! NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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