Liontamer Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Hello DJP and the J’s (Almost sounds like a 60’s rockband ) Here’s my newest submission to OCR: And here’s the info: Artist: NeoS Track: Eclipse of Hearts (Dearly Beloved) Game: Kingdom Hearts (PS2) Style remixed: Trance Have fun listening. NeoS. ------------------------------------------------------------ Decent groove, though I wasn't feeling the textures. Piano didn't sound bad. Once the melody was brought in, there was very little interpretation, though plenty of time to meaningfully develop it. The dropoff and rebuilding around 2:30 with the electrosynths (while adding in the pipe with some original writing) was an interesting touch, but it was then back to the melody with little interpretation at 3:20. The saw accenting the melody was a fine touch, and the new supportive instrumentation was a positive, but the overall arrangement should have been more interpetive for the genre. The stuttered rhythm at 4:04 was bland and boring; that needed more complexity, like some triple stutters and notes outside the established rhythm. Not saying the approach is bad, because you did some good stuff by adding new writing ideas that integrated nicely with the source. Don't rip apart what's in place now, but create more substance/variation for the melodic arrangement. On the production side, this was missing something to give it more oomph. The kicks were pretty phatty though, so nothing's wrong with that. The main synth choice was a little generic, but nothing offensive. The volume feels slightly low, and the overall textures were lacking something I can't quite put my finger on; hopefully another J can articulate that. Still, underwhelming production is something you need to continue working on; it's an issue every sub. Might get some support though; this is solidly put together and easily your most cohesive sub yet. If this doesn't make it, this still has the potential to pass with a resub. So resub if it doesn't pass. Hope to hear more from you; this is much better execution than the Silent Hill sub. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Like Larry I think the arrangement needs some more subtle variation and interpretive takes on the theme. Perhaps using the main melody rhythm but altering notes a bit sometime to bring some tension? Using the main melody motif in another way (like a new rhythm, another instrument, evolve it a bit) is also good. Some chord changes (or lack of them, using just one chord as base) in the breaks or in the track would really help too. Production-wise I didn't think the piano was very good, it sounds a bit muffled and the delay was too much imo. The kick+synth arpeggio has some good raw power but the rest of the elements feel weak compared to that. Very "airy" textures that sometime feel a little distant, maybe because of reverb. Overall the track lacks the energy of the kick and seems unbalanced because of that. Overall though, this IS very close. The arrangement is more than half-way there and the production is still good. When you combine the two parts though some more work is needed for me to comfortably pass this. There's no doubt in my mind you can make that happen though so be sure to resubmit! NO(resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Good production, NeoS. It could use a little touching up in the mixing, and giving the individual parts more clarity, but overall, solid stuff. Got me groove biased. However, I wasn't totally sold on how the source was used. You had some sections that used it verbatim, some sections that simplified it (the giant trance lead), and then some sections that ignored it. It's hard to get excited about that, and I think it needs more to it. I too would have liked to see some modifications to the melodies, maybe some new chords. The countermelodies were a good addition, just needs more to it. I also thought it was odd that the song finally kicks into high gear at 4:05. I'm not calling that a dealbreaker, but I felt cheated that there was such a long build-up. Sometimes it's hard to separate what I'm looking for subjectively vs. objectively in a song, and that falls somewhere in between. It would probably be stronger at least bringing in the beat sometime between 0:56-3:20, if not the full guns. Very close to the bar, but not quite there. I'd like to see another version that uses the source more creatively, and touches up the production a little for clarity, putting more emphasis on the high-end or scaling back reverb. This might fix the distant/lack of energy problem that Mattias and Larry mentioned. If you can do it, this is as good as YESed. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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