halozero Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hello OCRemixers OK. This is my first time posting something in the WIP forum. I've been a OCR fan for years, and I'm finally getting into making some myself. So here's my first attempt. It's a track from SimCity 2000, done in a grunge/thrash style. Done all in GarageBand. http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?fid=504 For reference, here's the original: http://codywalton.com/music/10005.MID Feedback? Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulinEther Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hey, this isn't bad. It mostly feels like it's building up to something big and dirty (up until 1:28 ). For that reason, I feel like the breakdown is out of place. Needs something... like a wall of sound. The original is pretty sparse, and you've done a lot with it already, but it needs something at 1:28. You introduce a lot of ideas... maybe find a way to combine them together for a sort of climax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcana Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Not bad for a first remix. Needs some more backing, as mentioned this track is pretty sparse. It also goes by really quickly. I think it's because there exclamations of ideas, but not really good development yet. For example, there can be more expression at 0:40 before the breakdown. I'm kind of confused about the tone that you're wanting to set by this track as well. Are you going for a rocking-out type of song? Drums seem to imply that awesome stuff's going to go down, but the guitars are very laid back in comparison. I think it's because the sequencing isn't expressive enough yet, if you work on that for the guitars you can make the track rock out a lot more. So I'd work on developing the track more, theme-wise, and then work on making everything more expressive. Choose if you want to go more bombastic and energy-inducing, or if you're more about a reflective track and adjust accordingly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halozero Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Thanks! I know it needs more work, but I feel like I'm on the right track with it. Arcana is right in that the theme needs to be more clearly defined. I am going for a more high-energy rock concept, so I'll work on that. I'll flesh out the beginning more (before the breakdown) and work on the guitars. Right now it's all midi, but I plan on adding real guitar for a solo towards the end, and extend the total time out at least beyond 2:00. I really appreciate the feedback! A lot of work to do on this, but I'm hoping to polish it enough to be my first official OCR submission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halozero Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 I've made some adjustments. Added some elements, modified some elements, etc. etc. V1.1 for your review: For reference, here's the original: http://codywalton.com/music/10005.MID Please let me know what you think. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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