Palpable Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 (edited) Your ReMixer name: Slimy Email: Website: https://soundcloud.com/slimy-4 User ID: 51975 Submission Information: Game: Pokémon Red / Blue / Yellow Name of Arrangement: Adventure Through Lavender Town Name of Songs Arranged: Route 12 / Lavender Town Links to Originals: Route 12: Lavender Town: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ_0JY2-3FU Comments: This will be my fist time ever submitting to ocremix! I started writing this after thinking out loud, "I wonder if the Lavender town melody would sound good on French Horns." Months later, I'm submitting this with high hopes that I'll finally be rid of working on it. I tried to tell a bit of a story with this one. I tried to start the song with music the character might feel emerging from the Rock Tunnel, but it quickly changes on the short road to Lavender Town, and then Lavender Town itself. At 4:22 the "light-at-the-end of-the-tunnel" theme returns, and the song transitions to the more cheerful Route 12 theme. Perhaps the character is triumphantly leaving Lavender Town, or celebrating, or both. Maybe at 7:01 they turn to look at the city disappearing behind them, or forward to the road ahead, or both. It's really up to you. The more original sounding melodies in this (that drag the song on for over 8 minutes) are variations of the Lavender Town and Route 12 melodies, or vaguely inspired from them. Edited May 15, 2015 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 So there are a lot of really fun and good arrangement ideas in here. There was rarely a part listening through that I wasn't hearing source tunes, so you're definitely covered on that. I think there are a couple of problems that are really holding your track back. The biggest issue I'm hearing is the samples. A lot of times, especially when their is more going on, the samples and sequencing are fine. It's the slower sections that are exposing your samples and the track becomes very mechanical and fake sounding. I think going back to those sections (~1:30ish is the first example I remember) and really fine-tuning the sequencing to humanize the parts will help here. That being said, it probably wouldn't hurt to look into replacing some of the super-fake sounding samples and improving them right out as well. The arrangement overall is pretty good, and there's a lot of ideas and a lot of arrangement to go around. I'm personally not feeling the narrative feel overall. In my opinion, you could easily break a section out of the arrangement here and make a more concise and focused mix and not lose anything to it. My biggest issue stems from the transitions between the parts making the track sound like two or three different tracks that are stuck together. The 4:25 transition is the worst, and really stops the momentum of the track. Similarly, the ~1:30 transition really separates the different sources a bit too awkwardly. I feel like the transitions really need to be addressed and are the second biggest issue aside from the samples/sequencing that are preventing this from passing. I will point out that the ~5:00 minute transition is quite good, and I though that one flowed really nicely. Samples and sequencing are the biggest issue here that need to be addressed, and I think the transitions are the second issue here. I think this would be a great track to bring to the WIP forums to get some more feedback, I'd like to hear it again. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexstyle Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Oh no, an 8 minute song. *gulp* Honestly, this was actually...really enjoyable. I like the personality you infused the entire thing with, and the ride you took us on was varied, dynamic, and interesting. After reading through Deia's vote, I'd really say the exact same things. Smooth out the transitions a bit, maybe shorten up and make it a little less of a trek to listen to, and improve the instrumental sequencing (and possibly some samples). No mix issues stand out to me, though. Really, the main thing that stood out to me was when it dropped to just a couple of instruments--a real orchestra probably wouldn't do that nearly as often, so you'll want to support the transitions with backing instrumentation more effectively. Fun piece here, just give it some more polish and send it on back! NO (please resub!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Great arrangement ideas. There's some creative uses of the source melodies here, and good new partwriting to support that. The mixing was quite solid for an orchestral piece of this nature. I liked the instrument volumes and with a little more reverb, I wouldn't have problems with that aspect of the song. There are some specific instruments that could be better - the piano and the trumpets at 6:00, in particular. Those instruments aren't as realistic as the rest, and when they take center stage, the lack of realism is exposed. What I did have a big problem with was the length. You've got a lot of ideas, but there's so many slow sections here, that you lost me now and then over the 9 minutes. Especially the Lavender Town section in the middle really killed the energy by being so slow and minimal for so long. Solo piano sections were also pretty slow and not as interesting as other moments. This is tough to solve easily and would involve some rewriting. I also think some transitions were weak, but that it wasn't as big a problem as the other judges thought. 3:48 and 4:19 were the two that were worst because they had a full stop. I hope you send us another version of this, because this is really promising. NO (resub) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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