Chimpazilla Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 J. Yarmosh - Evgeniy Yarmosh - - https://soundcloud.com/j_yarmosh - http://ocremix.org/forums/member.php?u=53448 (53448) Sub info: - SUPAPLEX - Supaplex2016 - unknown - http://mirsoft.info/gmb/game_info.php?id_ele=MTg2MTQ= (full game info) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J13y92m6zB0 (original music) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 I think the video I just linked is the actual original source, as far as I can tell. I have to say I find this source horrible! But I digress. There is no way this mix can pass our panel as it currently stands, but I've paneled it anyway because I think you can use the feedback. Once the mix gets going, I hear what you're aiming for. I think Sir_Nuts in particular will have some good advice, this sounds like his style. The soundscape is lush and full. There's too much reverb though and it washes everything out. In contrast, some of the chippy sounds are painfully dry. The intro is dealbreakingly sparse. The rest of the mix is pretty repetitive, both in writing and in sounds. Although, you've added a breakdown and a few extra timbres. The wubs near the end are surprising and they aren't mixed into the track well at all, they are jarring. The drums are fairly repetitive throughout the track. The end cuts off abruptly. I paneled this because I have the sense that with some direction and advice, you can get good at doing this style of music. I suggest joining our workshop forums if you haven't already, put this track in there and you'll get further advice. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_NutS Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Yeah I can see why this song can't get a pass, but I also can see positives about your submission. Your mix is balanced and nothing sticks out as piercing or distorted, which is a trait we hear in a lot of novice tracks. I do have to concur with Kris on all her critiques. The chip arp was very exposed, details and embellishments like these need to be included in the mix in a natural way, they need to be conspicuous but have enough presence to bring some detailing to the track, so try to blend it in so it doesn't take that much prominence on your track. It is also very dry, as Kris said. Your bass and kick are fighting for space, a small amount of sidechaining should help you here. I liked your drums, they are a bit lo-fi but they are punchy enough. A bit more splash on the snare could help liven the beat a bit. You could try eq'ing the toms separately from the kick because they're clashing a little. I recommend removing the sound that appears at 2:49, it doesn't fit the track much and it's way too dry. Regarding the arrangement, your structure could be more cohesive. The drums get removed for small sections, the breakdowns jump between sparse and busy too much, and your transitions aren't effective. The intro needs to have a better effect introducing your song. If you're new to music, try starting with a simple intro-verse-chorus-bridge-verse-chorus-outro structure, when you have that structure down try to shake it up a bit. This mix in particular could use a basic structure for you to build upon. I think you can improve if you keep working at it, don't hesitate to visit our Workshop forums! for now though, NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaMonz Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Let me start by saying that I think your remix is a great improvement over the source material. I would have a hard time making a fun arrangement out of that source, to be honest. Although, I have to agree that the inconsistent soundscape and the disjointed arrangement structure are deal-breaking. Kris and Mike have pretty much said all that needed to be said, and I think you should look into every single aspect of the feedback they have given you to try and improve your track. You have good ideas, but you need to work on meshing these ideas together in a more cohesive manner. Be very mindful of mixing details with the levels and reverb of embellishments to make sure the atmosphere you're creating makes sense. Also, work on creating transitions between different sections of the arrangement, like smoothing in or smoothing out some parts to make the whole piece flow better. I think you're on the right track, but you need to keep working on your writing and mixing skills (and the Workshop boards are a great place for that). Keep at it! NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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