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Thirdkoopa

wip Corona Mountain [Super Mario Sunshine] - Swing Jazz Chiptune

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Hey all, I'm excited to be here; I'm really hoping to get some of my mixes officialized by OC Remix so let's start here. I'm looking for whatever critique's you have. I like to use one defense first to preface it so I'll preface it here by saying: I didn't really do much mixing and my speakers are currently in a bad position. I went for a newer more synth version of jazz... so lots of synths and chiptune stuff here.

Please enjoy. (or enjoy ripping it to pieces)

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I'm going to use the checklist, since I'm 100% a beginner on this. Seeing a post with no comments makes me sad though, and makes me worried about my own future prospects (... when I actually finish my attempt at an arrangement and then at recording...), so here's an effort at some feedback!

 

ARRANGEMENT / INTERPRETATION
I'm not familiar with the source, can't speak on this!

PRODUCTION
[ ] Low-quality samples: The main thing that stuck out in this regard is the trumpet synth, especially where it is super in-your-face around 2:00; as one of the more "realistic" instruments you use, I feel like it needs more realistic articulations, too.
[ ] Overcompressed (pumping/no dynamics): Dunno about any compression per se, but I feel that the dynamic contrast could be stronger.

STRUCTURE
[ ] Lacks coherence overall (doesn't "flow" enough): around 1:00 for instance, the introduction of the high voice feels very abrupt; I think it's a combination of its contrasting timbre and high pitch that makes it particularly piercing.
[ ] [not actually abrupt] ending: I feel like the ending overall needs some attention. At 2:52 it feels like you're introducing a new idea, and then it sort of goes away, and then you have the lingering cymbals and... other stuff... which sounds overall a bit odd to me.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THE TRACK
[ ] Instrument choices: Aside from the trumpet, I feel like there was quite a bit of color in the instrumentation!

PERSONAL COMMENTS (positive feedback, specifics on checklist criticisms, any other thoughts)
Overall I found the tune quite catchy, even though the style isn't quite my cup of tea. I think it has a comfortable amount of complexity/subtlety, and mainly wants a stronger sense of overall structural development?

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