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Hello and greetings!

As you see, i'm new here. I like Classic Doom series very much and decided to do own music. I'm not a musican, create tracks from time to time in FL Studio, because it's my hobby. But wanna now, what kind of fault i do. What i can do better? "Endgame" Isn't my first remix, but i think, is better than others. Thanks for all feedback :)

Soundcloud version: https://soundcloud.com/mega-anukis/doom2-endgame-derailed-train-remix

YouTube version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMu_diQM128

Oryginal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf3UlZCBhOE

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First of all, I like what you are trying to do here. The slow and gradual build up of the original song is apparent and the tone overall is fitting for Doom.

0:00 - The lack of any movement for most of this is really dull and plodding. It also severely highlights the mechnical and low fidelity qualities of the instrument you're using.

0:44 - This opening is super boring and the little bit of buildup you have is not really helping the arrangement at all.

1:01 - The drums here are pretty weak. I don't think they convey the dramatic feeling you're going for here.

1:07 - Again, the 1-3 downbeats are very mechnical and uninteresting. If you're trying to build tension here, it's not working.

1:36 - Ooooh! finally some interesting progession! Now I'm ready to start listening...

1:38 - OWWWW! That cymbal is really out of place and crazy loud compared to everything else.

1:42 - Cool wind FX. Giving me a little bit of goosebumps...You should start the song here. All that stuff in the beginning is completely different from the rest of the song and it just wastes the audience's time.

1:44 - The synth here kinda cool, but its sounds very thin and flat. I'd like to hear something fuller, with more low mid presence. Or for a full ominous effect, some nasty rumbling bass.

2:04 - OWWW. Again the volume levels are all over the place. That synth is ridiculously loud. The synth melody here doesn't seem to work with the synth from 1:44. You need to rework the synth from 1:44 to play notes that don't collide and conflict with the lead synth.

2:35 - I think you could nicely build more excitement here rather than letting it just trail off. Instead of playing the melody straight, start fading in some layers and really get the blood pumping.

2:43 - HERE WE GO. This is where the song finally gets going! Just like the beginning of teh song, its sort of plodding and mechnical. There's nothing here to keep us hooked. Its just kind of slowly moving along.

3:08 - I really like this part. We get some really cool melody here and anice sort of build up to what's next.

3:22 - You have that great build up and then......nothing? What a letdown. This should crescendo right into the next phrase. Every time you start to gain intensity, you drop it faster than a hot potato.

3:30 - Now we finally have some instrumentation. Still have the very plodding 1-3 downbeats.  You're doing the melody a disservice with this very deliberate and slow arrangement.

4:07 - The new drums you've added here are completely drowned out by the lead synth. From what i can hear, they're pretty odd sounds and they don't really mesh the rest of the feeling being created here.

4:47 - The drums that come in here are really loud and have no reverb on them, so they spund really strange with the lead synth which is drowning in reverb. So far, this seems to be a shot-for-shot MIDI swap. You seem to have taken the original song and just changed some of the instruments. There's no arrangement or interpretation here.

6:07 - Again, there's no effects applied to the layers you're adding here, so they just seem out of place.

8:11 - You have a decent (if somewhat tired and overused) climax and ending here.

Overall, this mix is very plodding and slow, with little variation of any kind. I think your primary concern should be focusing on the arrangemnt first, and then the production issues later.

The piece is very repetitive, and what little flourishes you do add are fairly conservative and don't really add a lot to the song. The Composition & Production forum ( http://ocremix.org/community/forum/8-music-composition-production/ ) would be a great place to start getting some ideas of how to improve in both areas.

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Wow, thanks man!  I honestly am, didn't expect so fast and extensive opinion, with time logs. I see now, that have much shortages and know my music program poorly. My remix is long and develops slow, because i like trance music, which cumulative moment is usually after 6-7 minutes. Just inspired by them, but i have in YT channel short remixes too. 4:07 this drums aren't new, i use this pattern in 0:26, but later the drums are quieter (i see now, that was bad move). 6:07 is very informative, i must diversify my work in the future, because actually i use simple schemes. Nasty rumbling bass (or vocal) is a good idea, variegates a soundtrack and gives an atmosphere. I will read topics in this link, certainly i'll find much infotmations. If i decide publish something else here, try to refine. Greetings.           

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