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Allusionist
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For section A, I see what you mean - I think it works as it is, but it probably could be enhanced with a bit of low end (form of pad or bass) coming in on a gradiant, really taking hold at around 00:54. Still, like I said, it is nice as it is and could well be an instance where less is more.
As for section E, you're going to hate me for this, but I think what it needs is that one final crescendo, and just go all out in it (similar to 01:35, but padded out) before cutting out at 04:48. Similar to the original, but with a little less restraint. It'd be a lot of work, ... but it might sound amazing.

Also, can I just say how good this is, overall, and that 02:20 - 02:40 especially is lush AF.

Keep up the great work!

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