Super Mario Land WIP (basically complete)

[TheLeviathan]

Hey all, I was thinking about submitting this. I'm pretty much done besides a minor few tweaks (bigger crash at :34, tighten a couple parts up) unless anybody here has something to say about it. Any critique is welcome. Just wanted to make sure it was solid enough before submitting it.

This is an arrangement of the world 1-1 theme with parts of the world 2-1 theme included. I thought it would be interesting to do a 3/4 time sig changeup during different sections. I also decided to throw in various little homages to different Mario games such as Super Mario World, Yoshi's Island, SMRPG, Mario 64 (Dire dire docks), and also a quick FF4 and OOT reference.

I used mainly EWQL Orchestra Silver in Fruity Loops. Enjoy.

Link: http://g-t.dew-owns-it.com/To_Lands_Beyond.mp3

(Thanks Dew/G-T for hosting)

[Draconiator]

Nice piano opening, but I suggest working on that a little more, as a few seconds in, it sounds like you were too excited at the keys there. Marks off for that. After that, some string goodness comes in accompanied with bassoon, then a part with pizzicatos, which doesn't need to be worked on IMO. Nice SMW ref. The part after that with the stacatto base feels...a little strange. Get rid of that "excited" piano, either that or quantize the notes, so it doesn't sound mushy. That piano will hurt your chances of getting in. After that part comes the 1-2 remix. Nothing really stands out for me in this section (there is a REALLY strange-sounding 3+ note accident on the 2:16 freeway) until 2:41. I REALLY like that part. The tempo change at the end could have stayed out of the song. AT least two times in the song, I felt that there was inappropriate tempo changes, however, the one at 1:31 could possibly stay in if you worked on it a little more.

One thing's for sure, this thing STILL needs a lot of work. I do see what you were trying to do here, but I don't think this would make it past the panel as it is now. Pretty good attempt, though.

It doesn't move me, but maybe it will in the future? Who knows?

[TheLeviathan]

Thanks for the comments, I'll see what I can do. As far as the transitions go, I kind of like them, but I'll see if I can change a few of them so they aren't all just tempo changes. Also, when you refer to the 3 note accident, is it a clashing of notes problem or a sloppy beat problem. I can hear a couple of intentional dissonant harmonies, but I feel like they end up resolving. If it takes away from the piece, I can change the notes around.

Anybody else?

[SSB]

I really like the feel of this and think it does have a lot of potential. But as it is now, the one thing that strikes me most is that the rhythms all sound pretty shaky. A lot of the time overall it just feels as if the notes are just kinda wobbling around the beat. The arrangement is mostly solid. No big complaints there. I wouldn't call it complete yet, however.. I don't have much else new to add from the previous comments.

[jmr]

Some point-format feedback:

-I really like the arrangement of this track, but the like SSB said, the rhythms need some work.

-The strings that come in around 0:33 are a little too loud for my liking. Try toning them down a little.

-I love the little references to other games, great work!

-Some of the tempo changes (especially near the end) could be smoother.

-The track is a little quiet. I know that you want to avoid clipping, but your track peaks at -2db (and -5 db on the right), so turning it up just a little won't hurt.

-Your instruments seem to be panned excessively to the left; you might want to balance that out.

Overall, though, this is great stuff. Keep up the good work!

[TheLeviathan]

Thanks for the comments, I'll try to get around to fixing up some of this stuff in a week or 2 when I have less work to do.