Would be cool to hear either more modulation on the synths or exaggerate the modulation that's there now, because at times the synths do feel stagnant. Taking 1:30 to get a fuller sound isn't quick and could potentially lose some listeners. Feels normal for the genre to have long builds like that though. The problem is now at 1:55 it's back to a pared back section with less going on. If you're gonna take 1:30 to build up to full, at least give more time in the full section to balance it out.
The same goes for the end section (4:31-5:40), feels long and drawn out and doesn't really go anywhere or it's just an incomplete and unwritten section.
I dig the idea overall, just needs refinement and work. Definitely workable!