Well Fantasy,
I'll admit, I love the source material. Because of this, however, I will be forced to be more strict on my listening and possible criticism, so beware
I really like that you've surprised us with a slow groove to chill to. Because it is considerably slower than the original, however, you must be careful with you sense of temporal space (in an arrangement like this, it is a potential killer).
Ok... After a few listenings, I'll have to say that there is enough material in here to hold my interest for four minutes. There are a lot of neat tricks you use to keep it interesting (the echoes at 0:35 are awesome, those little arppegiations in the melody at 1:06 are sweet, and your method of transitioning at 1:28 is inspiring). However, these little doodads and modifications are short in comparison with the piece's length. These 2-3 second modifications are spread very thin along the entire four minutes of music.
In reality, there are two real changes you must make compositionally to make this mix great. First, the repetition of material must never be just that in such a slow mix - a repetition. This encourages the listener to skip the music, and if the listeners are skipping music, then why is it there? Second, the drums, while being a great sample and a pretty neat groove, eventually drones over the listeners. In fact, I felt an enormous amount of relief at 2:47 when the drums dropped out for a while. That should not be so. I would recommend throwing a few changes to the pattern every once in a while (perhaps dropping a section like the hi hat, or the snare, or changing the pattern a touch). In a piece like this the drums are essential, but if they lull the listener into a stupor then it defeats the purpose of having them.
A final note is the transition. I love it. I think it is very much needed when you use it. Repeating the melody in the Lydian mode, however, just doesn't cut it for me. It may be personal opinion here, but it just sounds odd. I would recommend changing the tune almost completely there; the texture and material before and after should keep the continuity of the piece. Also, I'd look at the Parallel 5ths at 2:59-3:00; in some music they can work, but in here they don't.
I believe this has promise, as long as you adjust the arrangement accordingly. Of course, I can't comment the mix as you haven't dealt with it yet, so I'll trust you will change what needs to be changed . Really, I would love to hear more of 'you' in this! When I listen to it I am hunting for parts that sound personal rather than a simple iteration of the source. I shouldn't need to search for this; It should be pervasive throughout the mix.
I wish you the best of luck with this (I hope to see this someday on the front page)!
