Wacky

Incidentally guys Don't Pirate. And if you do pirate, don't pretend it's anything other than yourself being a cheap, lazy loser. I know this because I wait the good 3 years it takes for a title to drop to the $5 bargain bin level.

From what I know of swordsmanship and knife fighting, a reverse grip is actually a defensive stance since you want to keep the blade closer to your body and under more control. If anything you'd think Jedi would use it a lot more than Sith.

Not gainsaying that at all. Unleashed 2 is a terrible story- at least 1 fits and you know, kills off Starkiller. But isn't it strange that even CGI people and voice actors can pull off a more convincing performance than flesh and blood actors in front of a Greenscreen they can't see half the time? No wonder they seem so wooden.

Does anyone remember the most terrifying Star Wars sequence from anywhere? There are two which come to mind. The first is in Irvin Kirshner's movie, with the Wampa. Ironically, because Lucas couldn't show the goddamn thing the way he wanted so he was forced into doing a good shot requiring us to imagine this horror sneaking up on Luke. The second... the bit when Shaak Ti and her two apprentices are running for their goddamn lives from General Grievous (Shitty shitty name, might I add.) It's basically The Terminator but these are against people who would take the terminator and trash it, armed with the finest close combat weapons ever devised anywhere, real or imaginary. They're running and totally terrified and you feel their terror mounting as these things keep coming to kill them and there's nothing they can do about it... That's from a cartoon. LUCAS CAN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT SPEND MONEY ON POINTLESS CGI

I am properly taught with the piano. Give me enough time and I can manage anything. I taught myself the guitar. I thought I was pretty good. Then I saw this: Fernando Miyata. I weep.

I think Lucas is just shit when it comes to love stories. You don't need awesome actors to get a reasonable romance out of an action adventure story (ie look at Mask of Zorro. Hot!)

Nathalie Cox is either: 1. English (Born there) 2. Australian (High School) so any British accent is an unfortunate by-product of her youth and is thus excusable (If we remember that there's an Australian accent which Americans almost never hear that sounds VERY upper class English to an American; think Cate Blanchett or Geoffrey Rush.)

So does this man.

Remember how I showed a couple of clips from Force Unleashed 1 that managed to show how even in our cynical, jaded age, you could get a decent romance out of a Star Wars story? for reference. I remember really liking Starkiller and Juno Eclipse's romance, because it was pretty low key and yet incredibly heroic. As The Girl did tell me, "What girl doesn't want to be the muse for a man's redemption from evil and the cause of an galactic rebellion against an evil empire?" While perhaps painting my sig. other in a rather negative light, that's sorta true. But for some reason, the two have a chemistry that isn't replicated by flesh and blood actors. Well guess what! Force Unleashed 2, while sorta shittier than 1 (You can't really improve on 1's story in the way Mass Effect or Baldur's Gate could- you already know what's happened...) still doesn't make me retch when Sam Witwer and Nathalie Cox emote to each other... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMaBaB3wOsQ Like seriously, the words are just as lame and stupid as anything from a prequel trilogy movie: Starkiller: "I shoulda stayed here." [sob] Juno: ... "We're alive?" Yet somehow it's still moving, and you understand exactly why they said that, and still better, that they love each other. GEORGE LUCAS WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS PS: Dislike Juno Eclipse's face second time around- it's much more individual in 1 whereas here she's just cookie cutter cute.

To support my original hypothesis that the song "Sexy Bitch" contains hidden depths... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-c7vK58VPg NOW my original analysis of a person who's so sad and lonely he or she can barely think to describe a person other than as some sexual fantasy even while trying to fight the urge fits. And holy shit now it's a good song. DAVID GUETTA YOU'VE FOOLED US ALL AND I HATE YOU WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND SUNS

The lyrics to a little ditty I heard recently... http://crystalizedserenity.wordpress.com/2009/08/24/i-like-that-by-static-revenger-richard-vission-ft-luciana-lyrics/ And the actual clip itself I'm not sure if the North Americas have heard it yet, but it's actually not a bad piece of... well, I'd say it's standard dance music but it's a little punk. Whatever. Ignoring the music, and the singing (Which are oddly appropriate) I focus on the lyrics. The first time I heard this I could not possibly believe that this song has not been censored to hell and back. As far as I can tell every single fucking line with the exception of the dollar bills and gucci can be referenced to sex. LADY GAGA has less sex per line. The best thing is that some of it is undeniably OBSCENE, even in our day and age... "I love your pocket rocket we live to shock it shock it" and my personal favourite metaphor of the past week, "I wanna spray it spray it I like to throw the paint you wanna throw the paint?" And it's all delivered by a jumpy, hoarse voiced woman with a pretty good sense of rhythm. The really funny bit? It seems only people who enjoy their music have noticed this. The teeny boppers think it's just a great track to dance to and don't understand the lyrics, and the old people don't listen to them carefully. I remember when people snuck in their sexual innuendo in slightly less obvious fashion.

I write this as my friends have left or gone to sleep, quite afraid of the quiet little N64 in my living room. We were playing Perfect Dark. Nothing wrong with that! I have every Nintendo device since the NES, and so every now and then my mates and I get drunk, plug in the N64, and go crazy. We are playing temple, 4 players, 4 meatsims, and a variety of weapons. (The Meatsims are for lols.) We're having a ball, when a meatsim trots up to me, stands 2 metres away from me, takes out two cyclones, and empties two clips using the alt fire. Doesn't scratch me. I laugh and despatch the fellow with 2 shots from a Falcon 2 to the brain. I turn around to chase more quarry, and find, to my shock and horror... The Meatsim has emptied into the wall behind me a perfect set of divots outlining an oval. A PERFECT OVAL. That meatsim was fucking with me. I swear to all that is good and holy, that meatsim sat there and fired a perfect circle around me and didn't hit me because he held me in that much contempt (And was probably programmed to do so.) I don't think I shall be sleeping well tonight. My room mate is positively convinced the N64 is going to kill us all for using the PS3 too much.

It does help we're a giant melting pot of heterogenous genes being mixed up all willy nilly by rampant interracial sex Which as good geneticists know would tend to increase the overall health and adaptiveness of any sample population I mean, what nationality is Megan Gale? Doesn't have one. She's too mixed up to have one. Also gorgeous. Edit: Also- Melissa Theuriau Jaheira Bastila Shan Lala Ward (In the 70s, in a schoolgirl outfit)

Oh look Miranda Lawson looks like Yvonne Strahovski with black hair Oh wait Miranda Lawson is VOICED by Yvonne Strahovski AND is modelled on Yvonne Strahovski Edit: May I also add that I find torture and extreme violence far more worthy of censorship than swearing or nudity or god forbid sex

Fair enough. Also Mass Effect 2- Proof that the proven genetically hottest human female in the universe is an Australian. Anyone else pick her accent? Not that I actually find Ms Lawson overly attractive, but that's funny.

Sarcastic, might I add.

When are people going to learn that relationships between two males are just different from any others? I mean for one thing, men mean what they say. And they don't put you through insane guilt trips. Nor do they shop for stupid shit that you don't like. M/M relationships aren't there because they're too good and you should keep your god damned lucky "relationships" secret because for everyone else they're synonyms for "a series of escalating arguments followed by sex".

If anything the conversation with the Turian Citadel Councillor afterwards is a very funny thing. Irresponsible Captain Tylor awesome: "How long do you think before they kill us all?" "Awww... 3 generations, 4 tops?" Also I am trying to think of a game studio that writes better stories but for the life of me, I don't think I can. Bioware is, as you know, an offshoot of Black Isle Studios, so the only contenders to Mass Effect I can think of are: KotOR I and II Planescape: Torment Baldur's Gate II (And Throne of Bhaal- 1 was a little flat) Fallout I, II and III All Black Isle or Bioware, with the exception of another superlative company, Bethesda Softworks for Fallout 3. May I add that Bethesda Softworks is great at writing backgrounds and settings (I can get lost in a modded Oblivion or Morrowind forever) but as for stories, it's not so good. Its characters are flat and boring. Bioware is about the only game company I can think of that makes me give a damn about any NPC. And seriously- Half Life was good at storytelling, but comparing it to Bioware is an insult to Bioware. I can think of two parts of the entire Half Life franchise that made me feel for characters the way I do in Bioware games- Dr Kleiner telling people to fuck, and Alyx's dad (You all know where). That's in the middle of a LOT of content. Sigh.

It's also a war crime to lay a minefield and then not mark it. This is why United States minefields are strictly and clearly signed. It's meant to be a denial of area defence, and so if you're stupid enough to walk into one then you clearly have a reason to walk into there.

You know this may explain your failed relationships Edit: I'm sorry but it needed to be poked at Pun intended Double Edited: I find it amazing that no one considered the possible other plotlines that provoke metaphysical and philosophical discussion arising in ME1 1. Genocide (Is it truly right to genocide a race, no matter how "evil" it might be?) 2. The interplay between honourable surrender (As Saren attempts)) and Fighting for your Rights? Too bad this got subverted in that Sovereign had no intention of giving anyone any rights after winning, but imagine if it did...? 3. The possibility that your Hero may have just committed Treason against the people he swore a duty and oath to (The Citadel Council) so he could advance his own special interests? (if you let the council die because you think humanity should take over.) Those who think "The citadel are dicks" should remember that each soldier of the United States swears an Oath to defend the country and is only allowed to disobey ILLEGAL orders, not just stupid orders. 4. The fact that if you use incendiary or polonium rounds, you're killing people in ways that are outlawed on Earth? (Incendiary and anti personnel rounds of the kind depicted in Mass Effect are, in fact, illegal to use under the Hague convention, and soldiers are taught this- For example, Don't Use the Barrett .50 cal. against people unless you have nothing else because it's a war crime)