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Everything posted by Wacky

  1. Oh no not at all. I DON'T play creepy dating simulators, and I don't find it somehow different or adorable that women get the "get off scot free for finding pixels sexy" card.
  2. You know what, I think no, I have enough computer game on the brain to worry about creepy dating simulators thanks I am going to listen to Mr Solus babble for a bit Sorry, Doctor Solus
  3. Well, what's the other big game for women in the Western World? The Sims Oh look at that barely thinly disguised The Girl hooking up with that customised hunk guy Not feeling jealousy AT ALL nosirreebob
  4. I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that Dragon Age is essentially Porn for women.
  5. So The Girl finds herself relentlessly replaying every single Dragon Age Origin as a variety of people for the following reasons: 1. Roleplaying a Captain Kirkish everything that moves noble rogue who finds Leliana enchanting and shacks up with her Good Friend Al in a marriage of convenience so she can be Queen of Ferelden AND Arl of Amaranthine AND go for the appropriate person depending on what she's feeling like each day to slake her "needs" 2. A female mage who wanted Cullen and Jowan and ended up settling for the King of Ferelden and who insisted that her "Aunt Wynne" look after her and Alistair 3. A variety of Dwarves and Elves who either go for the sickly sweet aforementioned King of Ferelden or Zevran Montoya (Gotta admit he is pretty cool.) She insists all humans are racists in this game and so wouldn't find an elf attractive if they weren't all pretty-boys. (Speak for yourself, dearie. Merrill is the sweetest, cutest thing ever. Come to think of it, why aren't there more hot elf chicks in this game? Oh right. They're slaves.) 4. Not liking Velanna because she was "stealing her Nathaniel." 5. Bemoaning the fact she couldn't set up Wade and Herren's wedding. She even approved/denied the plot twist from Morrigan "depending on what the character would have done." Why do I start with this? Because this *could* be an abstraction into what Bioware does so well- write its characters. I love Bioware for writing good characters- If I mention Minsc, Edwin, Sand, Mordin Solus, Imoen, Conrad Verner, Bastila Shan, HK47... they're irrepressible, and they're actually characters you give a damn about, which is important for an RPG. This, however, is a bit disturbing. You could have quite literally made the entire rest of the game, including the epic plots, a FMV, and a legion of fans would still buy the game just for the romance plots. Not even the banter, which is hilarious, but the mere fact that choosing the right dialogue choices could get a girl in bed with a hot dorky British guy who has every chance of being a King. Come on guys You make fun of men when they play creepy Japanese Dating Sims WITH THE EXACT SAME PROPERTIES Thoughts/Opinions?
  6. Wacky


    She's hedging her bets that the censors just don't give a shit any more that she's blatantly saying "I want to see your big cock, cock cock cock"
  7. Wacky


    Oh, and because being a faux lesbian isn't edgy enough: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppUm3TFnhtk
  8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppUm3TFnhtk I believe Ms. Perry writes her own songs? I have to say she has sufficient skill to come up with some generally aesthetically pleasing lyrics (As in, they fit her singing in how they sound, on pure aural grounds.) She has some really good songs (Teenage Dream is one of the best songs I have heard about the flash in the pan that is your youth and innocence, by a person who's IN tat flash in pan.) It's a sad song because it's meant to be. But yeah, the linked song... she's not even trying. It's like she's going to the censors and saying FUCK YOU
  9. Baldur's Gate 2 Warcraft II (Not 3) Super Mario World Medieval Total War All demonstrably better than their predecessors.
  10. Say what you like, the song is at least totally accurate. And comic genius. She just had to say it was a parody of pop music and it would be the best song ever. It's 30 Rock Good.
  11. I like big boats and I cannot lie No other pirate can deny That when a keel glides in with a pretty main mast and a copper bottom made to last You get sprung etc. etc.
  12. I always thought of DAO as Knights of the old Ferelden. Seems DA2 is Mass Effect: Medieval.
  13. I just want a joke about Isabella and her foursome. Yes, I dragged two suboptimized rogues (Leliana was optimised) through Denerim with no tank just so I could get a few really funny yet hideously tacky lines out of Zevran. Incidentally in those stages when you have those gigantic flash mobs of soldiers trying to kill you in Denerim, Wynne, Morrigan and a Mage-Warden all firing off Earthquakes, followed by Infernos, is a hoot. Tanks are nearly pointless in this game.
  14. It's almost as if Bioware's only real competitor in RPGs is releasing its next big thing next year... I am talking about Skyrim, of course
  15. You know that world outside your window? With the trees and flowers and girls that aren't figments of someone else's imagination? Yeah they're all out there. Go forth, and explore!
  16. Speak for yourself. I wanted more teasing from Bard and Righteous Qunari Warrior-Philosopher-Softie
  17. Yes because DA I wasn't full of cringe-worthy arty sex music and strangely placed underpants. Oh wait
  18. Cutscenes AND trailers, guys. Rama puts a good objection forward to the amount of detail you put in the pre-rendered cutscene... but that's entirely my point. The fact that on a small screen you can't tell the difference means that the in game graphics are good enough to handle the cutscene. Same for trailers.
  19. We all know that games now are capable of having exceedingly good in game engine graphics, as good as in game cinematics- for example, Mass Effect uses the same models in cinematics as they do in game (or at least, barring certain animations, I can't tell the difference.) Same with Force Unleashed, Bayonetta, etc. Even games with less dazzling graphics (Dragon Age, Dawn of War 1, Homeworld) still have the greatness to use the game engine to do cutscenes (Homeworld is one of the most beautiful games ever made.) You know where I am getting now, right? Observe this Dragon Age trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iFrHRaH0Os You have a game with pretty awesome graphics as it is and they couldn't use the same freaking game models in the trailer? Sure, it's a trailer, and they allegedly all lie, but this is just... weird. Especially since the voice actors are the same (Claudia Black, I could recognise you anywhere...) I am willing to suspend disbelief to the point that Morrigan can fight hand-to-hand or that Leliana apparently learnt Wuxia acrobatics, but all this effort has been put into a trailer, with the same voice actors, over graphics that aren't actually in the game. But the game graphics are of a sufficient quality to PUT them in the trailer. Same with all those RPGs that lie completely about the strange abstract numbers that float off people's heads when they get hurt. Case in point: Lineage 2- MMORPGs do it worst. Oh come on! Either your game engine is shit, or you're trying too hard to put work in a trailer which you're supposed to be putting in the god damned game! I think we have reached the stage where we can use in game models for your awesome trailers, don't you think?
  20. ERROR REPORT: Time: - Time Program Run: - Initiating Parameters: Constant Repeatable: yes Comment: Imperial Guard soldiers clearly do not appear to be wearing either T-Shirts or shooting with Flashlights
  21. Wait wait wait But you can't make that argument when the first thing you posted was how you could evaluate any given computer game title x for a variable value or worth y and then evaluate buying price z in order to show how title x(1) was objectively better or worse than x(2) and that prices z(1) and z(2) could have some rational correlation through its relation with values y(1) and y(2) meaning that I'm feeding the goddamn troll STOP PUSHING MY BUTTONS BY USING FAULTY LOGIC AND FORCING ME TO CORRECT IT
  22. Yeah sorry guys, I just can't turn off my brain enough to emulate that kind of wastevoice Oh hey we should bring back Jack betcha he could do that easy Zing Word.
  23. CIALIS See results in days Impress her with your love
  24. Old School Who has Lala Ward. Hawt. I mean she wasn't supermodel hot but she was undeniably sexy in so many ways... including the fact she was more than capable of being a badass Time Lady herself.
  25. Absolutely. The concentrated hawt of Billie Piper, Freema Argyeman and Karen Gillan (Be still my heart!) is enough to deflect even the most hardened (lol) of cynics PS: Also have squiggly feelings for Georgia Moffett
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