Liontamer Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 name: Alex Shtokalko Game: CHRONO TRIGGER Originals: No Hope and that other...sad...one (I forget the name) Remix name: Grief Stricken Remixer alius: HoboKa link: Well, here's another orchestral piece from me, it's pretty conservative but not at certain parts, I hope you guys enjoy it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=ct - "The Day the World Revived" (ct-206.spc) & "At the Bottom of Night" (ct-303.spc) The levels were too quiet, but that wasn't a huge deal. The structure here was all sorts of weird. I don't mind messing around with the melodic structure or adding original sections, clearly. But this came across like mucking with things just to make the structure different, and the results didn't sound very focused or melodious (e.g. :00-:42, 1:40-1:57, 2:17-3:05). It wasn't terrible, but they sections didn't connect together effectively and transitions like the one at 2:17 felt awkward. The best executed parts ended up being the ones where you followed the source tune very closely, and thus had the core mapped out for you already (e.g. :43-1:40, 1:57-2:17, 3:05-4:10), with 3:05-4:10 being the best on interpretation. Seems like you're leaning a bit on the cover-ish sections to pull you through. The last piano note at 4:16 stopped abruptly at 4:19; keep an eye on details like that to keep the finish strong. Some of the backing string writing felt dissonant, or at least odd at times, particularly during the less cover-ish sections. The textures and mixing felt a bit odd as well, which I'd appreciate another J elaborating on, but I thought you at least had some good subtle dynamics in play here. It's really just a matter of getting your compositional ideas more focused and flowing, Alex, and adding more interpretive substance to the first few cover-ish sections. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Wasn't really feeling this one as much as your recent subs, Alex. The sections that stuck to the source really highlighted how unmelodic your original writing was. I gave you some advice in your other Chrono Trigger sub. Transition at 2:17 was abrupt. For the most part though, I liked your instrument choices, and I thought the shifting of the starting beat of the source at 3:05 was interesting. The other judges might kill me for this, but I also liked the dissonant chord you added at 1:50 (I'm probably as big a proponent of dissonance as you'll find on the panel). I should stress that your dissonant writing usually works against you, and I think you should develop a better melodic ear so you can decide when it's right to use dissonance. String writing started very mechanically, but as the song went on, it became less of an issue. I also thought the panning got strange at 1:22, very overpowering in the right ear. Maybe it was just that the volume levels of the strings fluctuated unnaturally. Like I said at the start, this isn't one of your stronger recent subs and I'd say focus your efforts on your other songs. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Every time I listen to a remix of yours, I'm amazed by how badly things turn once you stop using the source. Even back when I was reviewing on the wip forum, I said the same thing. You might still have that pm review that said you should try something simple and stick close to it. Its probably a year later and I'm still saying the same thing. Larry has said it on more then one occasion too I'm sure. I love dissonance, and I love strange orchestrations, but the feeling and the flow is lost on me for most of this. In parts you think okay this sounds good, but quickly some strange suspension of sudden volume drop totally ruins the moment. There needs to be more consistency otherwise it just meanders from note to note. I'm tearing my hair out listening to it when I hear some thing nice, and all it needs is a nice resolution, a proper cadence, but instead it just keeps going into something uninteresting. Sorry to keep going on about this but its a constant issue that is a major part of the constant stream of NOs you get. Please try and work on a proper structure for your next mix. If each section was easily discernible and resolved properly, things would be a lot less tiring. I don't mean to be harsh, but I've heard most of your stuff now from way before I've been judging, and I can tell I'll be making the same points for quite a while :/. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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