Lie Mf B Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 This is my problem child... I've spent a couple of years now trying to give it a decent upbringing, and it still has problems. Starting as a Van Halen-influenced 80s rock thing, it has turned into more of a '70s kind of tune along the way, I guess. My main question is how the sucker flows -- if any parts are redundant, if it gets too long. But let me know any thing that comes to mind. http://www.update.uu.se/~lidbjork/dvd/LieMfB_-_Airman_mixdown_2008-11-20.mp3 Thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Native Jovian Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 The opening is abrupt and awkward. It's just a sense of "what the hell is going on?" until the main part begins at about 0:03. Which isn't a lot of time, I realize, but given that it's the very first thing you hear when you play the track, you want to make a better impression than that. You could probably do with upping the volume on the guitars, but it's not too bad. The drums seem to be a lot more clear when the guitars should really be what the listener is drawn to. The transition at 2:31 is too abrupt, especially as it doesn't really lead anywhere. From 2:30 to 2:40 really feels tacked on (though I did enjoy it, especially the rising progression on the guitar at around 2:35). You go from fairly mellow before 2:30, inject a lot of energy between 2:30 and 2:40, and then return to even more mellow than before after 2:40. It doesn't work. The latter half of the song is quite good. The guitar is clearly in the lead, but there's enough interesting stuff going on underneath it that it doesn't get dull. Despite what I'm certain SOMEONE will say, you do not require more cowbell. The ending is... nonexistant. The song doesn't end, it just STOPS. You should fix that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lie Mf B Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 Thanks for your feeback! You're definitely talking about the things I've been wondering about. Except your time designations don't make a lot of sense. When you say "between 2:30 and 2:40", I suppose you actually meant 2:30 and 3:40? If so, I agree with ya -- that part feels kinda tacked on and I should probably remove it. (And keep an outtake or something on my site.) This must be the first time ever I manage to get the darned drums louder than the guitars. It's usually the other way. But I'll balance it in the end. This mixdown was pretty quick. By the way, I hate the drums in this remix, and I'll probably rerecord them for the fourth time, with a different soundfont. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 I only know the sources from remixes, maybe some vague memories from friends' NESes, so this'll be a little loose on that. I did recognize stuff, and the repeated elements are probably soruce, so there seems to be enough. Can't tell how interpreted it is, tho. There's some weird phaser or flanger effect on some drums, very notable in the reverb on the snare and in the soft hihats. Could be a chorus setting on the reverb, but whatever it is it doesn't sound good. Drums could use a bit more energy, too. Guitars sound a little thin, should be doubled. Doubled, as in recording two near identical takes and hardpanning them opposite each other. Bass is pretty cool when it actually got through. A bit better compression (multiband!) on the end might bring it out more. It gets a bit old, tho. You might want to throw in some more varied textures or switch out a guitar for a synth for some iterations of the repeated bits. That'd also get rid of some of the apparent repetition in the writing. There was a weird little latino vibe somewhere towards the end. I liked how that snuck its way in. The actual ending was pretty cool too. Overall, I like the arrangement, but the production needs more work. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lie Mf B Posted November 24, 2008 Author Share Posted November 24, 2008 Thanks again! The feedback from the both of you made the vision I already had for this song clearer. I've already tried -- unsuccessfully -- to add other instruments but decided to let it stay as a stripped down guitar rocker. Instead I'll cut it a bit to balance the song and make it more concise. Giving the guitars and bass more presence will be easy. Drums will be redone with a better sound and more energy. To be continued... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSneak Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 I really enjoyed this very authentic-sounding guitar piece. You're right on with the 70s / 80s feel, it reminds me of how much I really enjoy guitar solos! Very excellent, I want this one to go all the way! Thanks for the listen, for now, and I hope that I hear it again after the judges accept it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lie Mf B Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 Thanks again! Seems like the overall style of this remix is appreciated. But I will shorten the piece somewhat. Question: Should I delete one iteration of the "verse/chorus", and keep the first guitar solo (starting at 1:50)? Or should I cut that solo instead? (My coming album will have a thousand guitar solos.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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