ke200 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Crappy computer refuses to let me do any more. Sounds like this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kizyr Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Just a layman's opinion here. But I'd say yes, it is worth submitting. There are some things you may want to improve first, though. For starters, I like the arrangement. There's enough variety, it doesn't get old or repetitive, and you're putting together the main elements (synth, drums, guitar) such that they mesh together pretty well. So, I don't think there are any problems that'd prompt a rewrite. As for what you may wish to improve... The synth is my main issue. It's not that it's bad, but that it stands at too stark a contrast to the guitar and sounds out-of-place in your arrangement; perhaps you could replace it altogether with another instrument (piano--electric or not, some other stringed instrument, etc.). Given how good I think you made the guitar sound, I think if you put the same kind of focus on the synth part (or whatever you replace it with) it'd take the song to the next level. Additionally, I'm not as fond of the drums in the first 30-45 seconds of the song, though I'm not quite sure why (it might be that it sounds too rigid and perfectly-timed). I'll add that you should get a second opinion on what I said--particularly about the synth--since there's reasonable room for disagreement. Other folks on here should also have better and more concrete advice than what I can offer. Hope this helps. KF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ok, I understand that the source is in the track name, but if you want people to look at your post then post the source in the thread name. Also, it helps to post the source tune in the thread for those that aren't familiar with it (like me). On with the show... To be honest, the mixing and bitrate are excellent, so the J's won't be hammering you for that . The synth will probably get you knocked down a little bit... It sounds like it would sound great as an organ (not church, more like a draw organ), though, if you want some idea as to what may sound good, there. The ending is a bit weak. The quasi-fade out ending doesn't leave me feeling satisfied. These are the main issues going against you at the moment, for me. If you want to have an idea as to how this'll fare on OC, I'd listen to this next to some Sixto guitar music, as the genre is similar. If it compares to it in you mind, then it's certainly worthy of a submission. The reason I can't give you a clear 'Yes' or 'No' is because I have no clue how the source goes, so my answer wouldn't be complete. Hope this helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ke200 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Ok, I understand that the source is in the track name, but if you want people to look at your post then post the source in the thread name. Also, it helps to post the source tune in the thread for those that aren't familiar with it (like me). On with the show...To be honest, the mixing and bitrate are excellent, so the J's won't be hammering you for that . The synth will probably get you knocked down a little bit... It sounds like it would sound great as an organ (not church, more like a draw organ), though, if you want some idea as to what may sound good, there. The ending is a bit weak. The quasi-fade out ending doesn't leave me feeling satisfied. These are the main issues going against you at the moment, for me. If you want to have an idea as to how this'll fare on OC, I'd listen to this next to some Sixto guitar music, as the genre is similar. If it compares to it in you mind, then it's certainly worthy of a submission. The reason I can't give you a clear 'Yes' or 'No' is because I have no clue how the source goes, so my answer wouldn't be complete. Hope this helps! Sorry - here is the original: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 As of right now, no. Overall a decent start though, and there are a lot of positives to this track. Arrangement + - Mixing balance is good. - The original works well in a rock format, and you've added some counterpoint later on in the track, as well as some guitar personalization. - There are some nice breaks in flow, and overall progression was nice. - Climax section at 2:45 was well thought out and there was a nice payoff. Arrangement - - This arrangement is still a bit conservative. Maybe try adding a 'B' section with a modified or sliced up melodic fragment, doing the melody in half time. I think the arrangement would still pass as is, but why let there be any question? - The drum patterns were good, but the fills were completely unremarkable. - The ending seems a little clumsy after the climax at 2:45. It just seemed to drag. A more defined fade in the synths and having the strings in longer would be nice. Production + - I really like that opening synth sound, but adding some variation once things start rocking could help the sense of progression. Bringing it back with the breakdown would make the song feel fresher as well. - Guitar sound is good, if a bit heavy on the reverb - Drums samples sound good (though see production - below) - Some good original guitar riffs Production - - Drums are too far back in the soundscape to have enough punch, and the the the double kicks sound too mechanical. Combined with the mechanical midi bass, it's a bit of a deal breaker. The patterns are good, but the details with velocity are crucial. - The soundscape turns into complete mush at 2:20. Some panning and way less reverb on almost everything will help this. - Smooth out the velocities on the strings at the end. They are way mechanical at the moment - Guitar playing ranged from good to unpolished, think about your phrasing when recording; some staccato notes in the main melody would be a lot better if played legato. The solo was well composed, but needs a little more practice cleaning it up. Keep at it, this is sounding good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I'll get you an in-depth 'is this ready' review in a bit. Stay tuned, I'll edit this post. Game time now though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmony Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 This is cool, but needs work before submitting. I basically agree with everything OA said, but to add some to what he said: - I think the arrangement is conservative, but passable. - I also like the guitar sound, but it’s drowning in reverb. Tone it down! - The bass is kinda dull, especially in exposed areas like 1:40-1:49. A better sample or slightly better sequencing might help, but you could also layer it with something that has a little more life. An automated synth with some bite to it might be cool. - If you can’t shorten the attack on the strings pad you have towards the end, I’d choose a different sample or synth. - The drums could be a lot stronger if you: 1) work on making the sequencing less mechanical. This is especially true where the drums are exposed, ex. 0:09-0:30. I’d start by trying to mimic a real drum part that you think might fit this song. 2) bring up their volume, maybe lower the threshold on the compression while you’re at it 3) Take some of the reverb off (especially for the kick). Again, they’re drowning buddy! Hope this helps. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ke200 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Sorry about making this thread - I've just discovered I can't physically continue the project at the moment I'm playing around with some new string VSTs I found lying on my computer, and now the whole thing slows down to a crawl! This is so frustrating! The only additional instrument I seem to be able to use at the moment is a piano with no effects on top. The end bit (the bit that needs the most work and has the most parts) just won't play at all now for some reason, even if I undo the changes. To be honest, I'm not surprised. The whole thing was made on a 1.6ghz 1gb ram laptop with no sound card, and now I'm trying to do more stuff, it just can't cope. That said, I have a proper computer at home that's twice the spec of this (at University at the moment so I can't access it), so I may be back in a few months with a reposted, updated version, once I can access that computer and fiddle with the song again. Anyway, I've saved all of your advice into a notepad. Thanks so much - sorry I couldn't produce something to show from all this help P.S. If a mod is on here, could you please close the thread? Thanks. P.P.S. I'll probably work on something simple and if it sounds good enough I'll come back for some more critique. P.P.P.S. Your community here rocks! Ciao for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 NO GOD DAMN IT! I HAD A WHOLE PAGE TYPED UP AND IT TOOK LONG ENOUGH THAT THE DAMN FORUM LOGGED ME OFF AND I LOST ALL OF IT! AND NOW I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL OF IT! FUCK!!! 1) Drums. See what I said about sequencing in 12 beats a measure. 1 3 5 7 10 is 16th triplet 16th note. Pretty common on toms and other things. Another thing is the 16th build with bass drum is rough because of the insane amount of control that you just don't have over the bass drum. It's not a scalpel, it's a hammer. Much more common is an 8th note build in the quiet sections that's bass + snare + low tom. Better volume control. Then when it's loud or where you want it, add in 16ths with the bass. Consider using a poly rhythm like you did at the beginning but in half time like 1&2&3&4&1&2&3&4&1&2&3&4&1 This repeats every 3 measures and keeps things more interesting during a build than just plain 8th notes. 2) The ending right now I'm not impressed with. Look at some of the examples of bands that've done this sort of intro/build before. It can start slow and build to be powerful, but it never slows back down (or looks back for that matter) Metallica's ONE was the first thing that poped into my head like this, but there are lots of examples. I'd be fine with this ending at 2:45 and getting some more substance in the middle. 3) I had other minor stuff, but I can't remember what it was now... Anyway, hope this helps. -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanthos Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Sorry about making this thread - I've just discovered I can't physically continue the project at the moment I'm playing around with some new string VSTs I found lying on my computer, and now the whole thing slows down to a crawl! You could always freeze some tracks to save on processing power. This is where the DAW takes a MIDI track and records the audio so that you don't have to have that particular VST active and in memory. It generally takes a lot less effort to play back audio than it does to run MIDI through a VST. Find out how your DAW supports this feature (or, if it doesn't, export a few tracks yourself and import them back into your project), and you'll be good to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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