Liontamer Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=20228 ReMixer: Hollidayrain Name: Sreyas Krishnan E-mail: sreyaskr@msn.com Website: www.soundclick.com/hollidayrain ReMix title: "Breakout" ( <---Mp3 can be downloaded from this location) Game: Kirby's Block Ball Song: Level 1 Theme (http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/gameboy/kbb-stage1.mid) Platform: Gameboy I tried to make some appropriate changes. I added another layer to the drums tracks, added another trance bass part at the track got to the meat, changed the melody up in the main section and made it repeat less in the build up, tried to make the 'section #2' melody of the source more obvious (played by both the piano and oboe in the section between 3:05 and 4:00 and again by the square synth at 4:31, added a few lines with one of my vintage vibelike synths, and layered the main lead to make it just a bit less flimsy. Thanks! Sreyas 'Hollidayrain' Krishnan www.soundclick.com/hollidayrain --------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.zophar.net/download_file/15457 - Track 5 Sounded pretty interesting, though still a bit stock with the instrumentation. The mixing needed some work, as I wasn't getting much high-end and the sounds were mudding together a bit. Less so than the previous version, but still enough to be a significant problem. Once you clean up the soundscape, you may want to add a pad to fill things out in the back. The fullest sections featuring the source verse (e.g. :43-:57, 4:01-4:56) still sounded underwhelming, probably because the clap groove could stand to be meatier. I think you need more power in the groove for those areas; it may simply be a matter of how you're mixing things. Oooh, what are those super fake brass & woodwind samples doing upfront at 5:10? They just made the ending sound awkward, because they're the only audible "organic" instrumentation in the whole song, and for all of, what, 15 seconds? It didn't fit at all, so I'd switch those sounds for something else. (And I did hear that stuff far in the back earlier on; that stuff was OK where it was, when it was quiet.) Dynamically, this had more going on than last time. Arrangement-wise, I generally liked it. There were a lot of good liberal and original sections that pieced together nicely with the source. Definitely some good things here to expand the source tune and add your own spin to it beyond the genre adaptation. Work on making the soundscape sound cleaner and less distant, then see what you can do about boosting up the dynamics with a few tweaks/additions, and I think this could be the one. The core of what's here with the arrangement was solid and doesn't need to be drastically altered. Definitely use the WIP forums on this one, and nag whomever you need for feedback in order to get this where it needs to be. Even if you're not able to get this to a state where we could pass it, you're showing artistic growth and are headed in the right direction. Certainly an improvement; keep it up! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anosou Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 The production is still the main killer here. Everything sounds distant and muffled, also strangely low encoded or something. Honestly I can't give you specific advice on how to fix this because I have no idea what you use and how you use it but this definitely needs to sound cleaner. Piano sounded a bit fake and the winds Larry pointed out more than just a bit. Arrangement had some good stuff going with a clever counter melody and some melodic variation. Core beat was still a bit flimsy but worked overall. Some additional changes in dynamics would be nice imo but what you've got here is quite solid. Overall the production is still dragging this down. Arrangement's almost there though so if you get some solid production going this could definitely pass. Good luck! NO(resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I agree with my fellow judges that some more highend is needed here, and that it is sounding a bit lofi and needs some shimmer and sizzle. I can get where you are coming from with the prominent woodwinds at the end, but really, they come in way too abruptly for it to really feel like a natural transition. I gotta second Larry and suggest you swap them out. I thought the gliding synth lead was beautiful, and there was a lot to like about this, but the production high end was too subdued- check out some of bLiNd's stuff as a comparison and you'll see what I mean. sounding close, but not quite there. no, please resub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts