AOY untitled Forest Mushrooms(Super Mario RPG) remix.

[eilios]

I really, really loved Beware the Forest Mushrooms from Super Mario RPG, and I have been trying to get better at music creation, so I thought I would do a remix of it. It can be found here. I'd really appreciate comments, as this is my first ReMix. Thank you for reading!

[TheReverend]

I'm going to be frank. I realize you are new to this (I'm fairly new myself), but I will offer solutions with any criticisms I level.

The Skinny:

First, this is entirely too long for the material in this mix. Long mixes aren't bad, but you have to fill them up and keep them alive and interesting.

Second, this is more of a cover than a remix, as the bassline, backing synths, and lead melody are nearly identical to the source. As such, I will address more of the production/sound aspects of this mix more than the arrangement.

However, you seem to know a little bit already about the sequencing of the patterns, so the only arrangement advice I have is the actual sequences themselves. It is here that you will make this mix sound like YOUR mix with a variation YOU wrote or an original melody or counter melody. Don't be afraid to get creative. Replicating a song is good experience for learning the ropes and tweaking sounds, but you really start taking off as a remixer when you morph the original into your own unique song.

All that said, let the specifics begin:

The Bad:

That bass has to go. You can use some interesting presets (depending on your DAW) or you can tweak knobs and add effects to create a fat bass. Also, use some creativity here with the bassline! The octaves don't add much to the song at all, especially since it is a copy of the generic and vanilla bassline present in the source material. You can do a lot with this progression, but it will take a lot of creativity, as well as trial and error.

The synths are shallow and generic. I would put some organic samples in this mix, unless you are going for an all synth, trace type deal. If that is the case, you can spice these sounds up with reverb, delay, EQs, filters, and sooo much more. Take advantage of these effects. You will be amazed at the difference in sound you produce.

The actual beat you have going is decent, but you either need to locate, invest in, create new, or manipulate samples to replace the existing sounds. Especially the shaker, snare, and crash cymbal. One easy thing you can do is add some reverb on the crash to give it more depth. It's quite dry by itself. Also, you can use other effects such as delay, EQ, and slight reverb on the snares and shaker. It will really add some much needed life to a fairly robotic beat.

The intro is quite long without any real melody coming in until :30 or so where it begins to fade in. You'll want to either shorten this intro or layer something on top of it, as it is quite repetitive.

At 1:40 you begin a little drum break, which I think will work well. Take some creative liberty here and change up the beat or write an original melody or something to contrast what you already have going.

At 2:14 you drop everything but the beat and the melody. A new instrument with a slight variation on the melody will give this more life.

2:42 isn't right at all. The bassline chord progression does not follow the melody chord progression. However, at 2:56 you fix this. It's probably an oversight when you sequenced it.

It stays pretty plain and vanilla until 3:53 when the melody fades in again. However, there is another chord class here between the bassline and the melody. Another oversight, maybe?

At 4:07 you fade out the bass.

At 4:14 you introduce some new material, which creeps in quickly, hits two octaves, then one, then fades. This mix is dying for new material, and it just sounds like this little bit got swept under the rug. This is where you can make the cool stuff happen and deviate from the original material.

At 4:56 we are back to the same loop again that we were before.

At 5:10 is changes up to the "B" refrain again.

5:23 is BAAAAAAD. These chords are ALL jacked up. So much it was hard to keep listening. It continues as an utter train wreck all the way through 5:52. It's like you just gave up here.

The end from 5:52 isn't really smooth. It's very abrupt, with no differentiation on the drum sequence, and the melody even plays out like there's more.

The Good:

You obviously know how to put notes to the page and put it together. Nothing made this mix stand out, but until 5:23-5:52, nothing really made it horrid (I'm not really sure what happened there). This tells me you have the capability to do much more, so I think we might see another iteration of this song and see some improvement.

I hope this is helpful in some way. I know it seems harsh, but I wanted to give it to you straight. Remixing has a steep, steep learning curve, but I think you are already climbing that hill. I would very much like to see a new version of this and hear what you do next.

[eilios]

I hope this is helpful in some way. I know it seems harsh, but I wanted to give it to you straight. Remixing has a steep, steep learning curve, but I think you are already climbing that hill. I would very much like to see a new version of this and hear what you do next.

Actually, it's just what I wanted. I'm pretty bad at music creation, I know this already, and the only way I could do better is if I got everything I did wrong laid out in front of me so I know exactly what to address. Thank you for doing just that, by the by. I'll be tweaking this a lot and I will come up with a better version.

[TheReverend]

I'm glad you're not discouraged, but don't be so hard on yourself. Music composition/remixing is an art, and like anything requires time and practice to get better at. Here at the WIP boards, we are here to offer suggestions and critique with the intent of helping you make your mix better with every post you make.

It's encouraging to see that you're going to keep at it though. One other suggestion: If you can, make your link to the song more visible, either with it's own line and URL consisting of more than one word ("here"). I almost thought you took it down, but I went searching through your original post and found it again.

[eilios]

Hi, I know this is a bit of a necropost, but I've scoured the stickies and rules and various rulings on other posts, and I don't think there's anything against it(if there is, I'm sorry, but I couldn't find anything about it). I've responded to about... everything Reverend has told me to fix, and came up with another version. I've also decided to call this "Wrong Turn". This is a newer version. As for why it's been so long in-between updates, well, it was around the holidays, and I had holiday related stuff going on, and I wanted to spend more time to make sure the next iteration was a lot better. Please give critique =)

This is the song!

And as for the organic samples comment, I was in fact going for an all synth production. Make of this what you will. Thank you for reading! =)

[manamaniac]

just commenting on how different these two versions are. I was looking around here for the first time in a while and listened to your first try and then the new one right after. It is sounding much better, especially the bass. I very much enjoy what you did to the bass.

that said, I think that this mix still tends to drag at parts. There are parts that seem repetitive when you have the melody going. Maybe adding a counter melody with a different instrument, or even the same, when you have melodies repeating. Having a counter melody or harmonies could help take out the repetitive feeling that I'm getting. There was a section towards the end where you did repeat the melody with a harmony and it made it sound like less repetition while still being the same thing.

anyway, I still am blown away by the growth between this and your first shot at this. good luck with this one

[SonicThHedgog]

I'm going to be frank. I realize you are new to this (I'm fairly new myself), but I will offer solutions with any criticisms I level.

The Skinny:

First, this is entirely too long for the material in this mix. Long mixes aren't bad, but you have to fill them up and keep them alive and interesting.

Second, this is more of a cover than a remix, as the bassline, backing synths, and lead melody are nearly identical to the source. As such, I will address more of the production/sound aspects of this mix more than the arrangement.

However, you seem to know a little bit already about the sequencing of the patterns, so the only arrangement advice I have is the actual sequences themselves. It is here that you will make this mix sound like YOUR mix with a variation YOU wrote or an original melody or counter melody. Don't be afraid to get creative. Replicating a song is good experience for learning the ropes and tweaking sounds, but you really start taking off as a remixer when you morph the original into your own unique song.

All that said, let the specifics begin:

.

A mix can be as long as it wants to, this mix is not even that long, some mixes are to 11 mins

this mix is sourcy, needs some arranging , you need to go a bit more crazy

this mix seems like a cover for a new super mario rpg game more then a remix so change some things up , variety of synth sounds, instruments etc.

[eilios]

just commenting on how different these two versions are. I was looking around here for the first time in a while and listened to your first try and then the new one right after. It is sounding much better, especially the bass. I very much enjoy what you did to the bass.

that said, I think that this mix still tends to drag at parts. There are parts that seem repetitive when you have the melody going. Maybe adding a counter melody with a different instrument, or even the same, when you have melodies repeating. Having a counter melody or harmonies could help take out the repetitive feeling that I'm getting. There was a section towards the end where you did repeat the melody with a harmony and it made it sound like less repetition while still being the same thing.

anyway, I still am blown away by the growth between this and your first shot at this. good luck with this one

Thanks for the input and compliments! I will look into that and come up with a better version. And to Sonic, are you referring to the first or second version? If it's the second, I'll try to deviate a bit more.

[Rozovian]

Not gonna listen (lazy) but I wanna encourage you to learn to listen yourself. The better you can hear problems in your mixes, the less you need other ppl to point them out and the less mistakes you're gonna make. If you don't already, listen to what other ppl here post and learn from their mistakes - see if you agree with the crits they're getting, see if you can hear what the critics are talking about.

This actually goes for everyone wanting to improve. Learn to listen.

[eilios]

Not gonna listen (lazy) but I wanna encourage you to learn to listen yourself. The better you can hear problems in your mixes, the less you need other ppl to point them out and the less mistakes you're gonna make. If you don't already, listen to what other ppl here post and learn from their mistakes - see if you agree with the crits they're getting, see if you can hear what the critics are talking about.

This actually goes for everyone wanting to improve. Learn to listen.

When people point out what I do wrong, I make a mental note of what I did and make absolutely sure I don't do it again. I'm rather new to music making in general, and I fall into lots of newbie mistakes because I don't know much better. By knowing what I'm doing wrong so I can stop it, I can learn to hear for mistakes. I always take all critique to heart, believe me. I'm trying hard to learn to listen, but you have to learn how to do that too, I guess.