Cyril the Wolf Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Just an alt. rock thing. It's pretty much finished but I'd like input on it. I don't usually ask for input.. but here I am! The game itself is not in the OCR archives, so I suppose that needs to be changed, eh? The lyrics are... I dunno, they may seem vapid, but I needed to write them when I wrote them. Don't hate. Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-JnR-wTIxg Mix: http://cyril.arnoldascher.com/rock/seenthroughwip2.mp3 Lyrics: Baby you're the only one I got inside The walls that I put up around me Seen through, the barriers I make for you But its hard for me to let go I gotta tell you that I can't be the perfect one Its hard for me, but I know that you'll stay around Seen through, the stupid things I say and do Thank God I know that you won't let go You know... You know you're the only one for me I know you see only the best in me you know you're the only one for me Baby you're the only one I got inside The walls that I put up around me Seen through, the barriers I make for you Now its hard for me to let go Baby I won't let you go Baby I won't let you go Baby I'll see this through Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillRock Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 You asked for a Mod Review so here goes: Pretty nice source, and pretty cool take on it. Not familar with the game at all, but do the lyrics have anything to do with the game? Just an observation that they don't seem to be from where i'm standing. Regarding production, this seems pretty mid/bass heavy atm, Drums are also a bit quiet, bring them up a little Your vocal performance might not be quite there... you tend to go out of tune at points, its particularly noticeable when you overdub your vocals with harmonies and it brings down the enjoyment for me somewhat. Might want to work at perfecting those vocals of yours, because you have a good voice for your style The main melody is mostly prominent in the chorus, but there seems to be alot of liberal sections as far as source goes. The guitar solo is also passable, but not perfectly executed. I think the main problem with this atm is that it seems unpolished, generally in vocal performance and production, as well as playing it liberal with the source melody. Sure, the chords are there all the way through tho... That would get you bonus points, the guitar playing is tight, and the bass is awesome. I think this needs some TLC before you submit, but its close. Basically to sum up - more connections to the source melody would be nice, tighten up your vocal performance, and work off some of the mid range in your mix so it sounds more balanced. Good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted April 2, 2011 Author Share Posted April 2, 2011 You asked for a Mod Review so here goes: Pretty nice source, and pretty cool take on it. Not familar with the game at all, but do the lyrics have anything to do with the game? Just an observation that they don't seem to be from where i'm standing. Welllllll mostly becuase they have nothing to do with the game. I wrote them in response to stuff I was going through, but I mean, I dunno do lyrics always have to go with the game in question? Regarding production, this seems pretty mid/bass heavy atm, Drums are also a bit quiet, bring them up a little Noted. May be caused by the soundgoodizer compression we'll see.Your vocal performance might not be quite there... you tend to go out of tune at points, its particularly noticeable when you overdub your vocals with harmonies and it brings down the enjoyment for me somewhat. Might want to work at perfecting those vocals of yours, because you have a good voice for your style Okay, I'll work on that and tighten them up, probably by way of roland v-vocal (I needed someone to tell me this because after you hear something a bunch of times you start thinking things are good when they aren't.) thanks for the fast response in that regard.The main melody is mostly prominent in the chorus, but there seems to be alot of liberal sections as far as source goes. The guitar solo is also passable, but not perfectly executed. I think the main problem with this atm is that it seems unpolished, generally in vocal performance and production, as well as playing it liberal with the source melody. Sure, the chords are there all the way through tho... That would get you bonus points, the guitar playing is tight, and the bass is awesome. I think this needs some TLC before you submit, but its close.I shall redo the guitar solo, once again, that had been there forever and I almost didn't notice it! Considering the source melody isn't long at all, in fact it isn't there i would almost count that intro I have as source as well. But hey, its up in the air at that point. Maybe I'll get ahold of someone to run an official stopwatch on it. lol (are you that official someone?) Basically to sum up - more connections to the source melody would be nice, tighten up your vocal performance, and work off some of the mid range in your mix so it sounds more balanced. Good stuff YAY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillRock Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Welllllll mostly becuase they have nothing to do with the game. I wrote them in response to stuff I was going through, but I mean, I dunno do lyrics always have to go with the game in question? Not that i'm aware of... Fans of the game might frown at that tho Considering the source melody isn't long at all, in fact it isn't there i would almost count that intro I have as source as well. But hey, its up in the air at that point. Maybe I'll get ahold of someone to run an official stopwatch on it. lol (are you that official someone? Okz I'll stopwatch: 0.00-0.19 - source riff - Repeats throughout over vocals. 0:36-0:52 Source Melody 1:10-1:26- Source Melody 8 secs source usuage from guitar solo in first 2 bars of every 4... 2:35-2:51 Source Melody Try as I might, I can't hear melody source in the verses so I didn't count them. Source usuage total 1:14 out of a 3:14 remix. You need at least 50% to hit the pass at OCR which would be 1:37 secs of clear source. The source riff is used throughout but you might not get credit for that due to the fact its in the background with little to no variation (bar the bridge section), so as this stands it probably wouldn't pass on source usage alone and coupled with other problems, wouldn't pass the judges I reckon. I know some judges go by feel (does it feel like the source is connected enough) rather than stop watching and I reckon you might get away with them but you need to put in more connections to the source just to be safe. Having the source melody for soley the chorus probably isn't going to cut it, you need something at the verses as well. If you want my advice, This is a good mix you could get alot of variation out of using the "verse - chorus" structure... you could have a variation on the riff in the background in the verses for example, or make the vocal melody more connected to the source in the verses as a means of variation. Hell, you could put in lead guitars with your second verse playing the lead chorus melody, that would work. theres lots of things you could do to rack up that source usuage, and once you've fixed that, just polish up the production and you're done. Its got some ways to go but you can do it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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