No Escape Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I decided to do a hard rock cover of Loki from Ar Tonelico and I was hoping to get some feedback. This is a final draft, so my revisions will probably just be tightening up some sloppy parts and doing my best rendition of a master. I do have to say that I think the track came out pretty well all around though. Of, I'll take any feedback, especially constructive criticism. Thanks guys! *edit*- Due to some unfortunate computer circumstances, I lost quite a bit of my multi-track, so I am kinda stuck with what I got. I did some heavy mastering (within my ability) and I think this track might be able to cut it, but I think a little mod review would help. Thanks for listening MY TRACK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape Posted April 27, 2011 Author Share Posted April 27, 2011 I did a little more on revisions, so I will call this the "final" final draft. Literally all composition is done, and I'm just working on a little more mastering... Hope it pleases Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 No response? That makes me sad. Let me just point out... That source, is bad ass, BAD ASS MY FRIEND, I'm like mmm. And haven't even made it to the mix yet. IMHO, the drums are too active in the first few seconds of this track (drummer saying lay off the drums?! preposterous!) Give it a few seconds before you lay on the drums (cymbals being the big offender here imho) That makes a great tom solo/buildup really shine if it comes out of the blue. Along the balance issue, I love me a powerful kick drum, but even for me, this one is a bit much, love the sound, but back off a bit. If you want to fill that gap in more of a solo/fun sort of sense, write a part to do lo-tom sweeps. (I actually do this in 8th note rock, with tom on the &s from time to time, or on the beats) The guitar solos are pretty kick ass, but it's MFN NOESCAPE! DID YOU EXPECT LESS?! The piano seems to come from out of the blue at first near the end after said raging shreddage. Now, I realize that it's in the song before this, but it's really echoing a part, It hasn't really established itself as another instrument till this bit near the end. I'd like to see it with some more support earlier on. There are a bajillion ways to use a piano in EVERY type of music, so I'll leave it to you what you had in mind, but a the slight echo at 0:43, then nothing for ... uh... till... 1:33 and a mostly background role there. Bring that sucker forward, make it awesome, or in this case, louder. On the level of the guitar solo. (or slightly less, but more than it is now) Too quiet. Hope that helps -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 I knew it! I've been thinking about that kick all week. It is just a little too loud for the mix and I need to tweak it. I am totally bummed that you weren't sold on the intro drums, because I thought they were super nice, but I might tweak them around as well. I will say that my music theory and composition with drums are very rudimentary, so I'm not sure what you mean by tom sweeps . Are they just ascending/descending tom rolls? Also, I am thinking your headphones might be a little harsh in the higher register, because they cymbals sound pretty great on every speaker or headphone I listened on, but it could be preference too. I like your thought on the piano additions, and I think I will put some simple harmonies in to kinda introduce it to the song. So on a side note, I'm submitting this track for an album project on a different site, but I posted here so I could get a good heavy crit of it. Thank god you're around. As always, you pretty much addressed everything I was thinking might need to be tweaked. Nice job *edit* I have that sad sinking feeling that the album I offered this track to will not happen at all, so I'm just going to try to get it OCR ready instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Just some quick clarifications and a shameless bump to see if anyone else has some thoughts on this. (I always feel weird giving all my opinions with no one else chiming in >.>) As far as the drum intro thing, it's kinda a preference thing. What you have is good, but not for me. I think I'm dealing with a balance issue there, where the drums are creative and loud, it seems to be fighting with the guitar. Now at that point in the song the melody guitar part is way more important as it's laying down the introduction. The kick and few cymbal hits in the intro are great. (not the heavy crashes, the small rides) Take out the tom fills at 0:09, 0:17, 0:22, and replace them with a more subtle snare/cymbal/kick thing you had been using. Then at 0:26-0:27, you can really use them and be creative leading into that snare part. Just those tweaks in my mind will give the part a sense of direction, like it's building to be more intense, and it won't be trying to fight with the guitar there. That's just my take on it tho. All this stuff is opinion, so if you can get someone else to weigh in on it that'd be for the best. A great drummer once said that it's as much about the spaces and spots you don't play, as the notes and runs that you do play. I think that's my complaint about the intro and a few other places in the drum track, it's so complex and crazy in a few spots that it really doesn't sound human. Too hectic and everywhere, some space would do it good. Again, my opinion. And the cymbals sound great sound wise, I'm talking about application, not sound there. And that kinda goes hand in hand with my previous comment above. These headphones are Grado 225s, so, they're pretty good. They've had plenty of burn-in time, they sound great, but they used to have some harsher highs when they were newer but they're great at not muddying ranges together. Tom sweep is just they way I learned it being called, it's uh. A quick hit on the way to something else. I play them mostly from the ride cymbal. If I was playing a quater note driving rock on like the ride bell, a tom sweep section would come in and hit the &s with my right hand, and then the left still plays the rock 2 and 4, but puts 16th notes on the low/mid/high toms. The sweep thing is just the right hand work. Hope that helps -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape Posted June 12, 2011 Author Share Posted June 12, 2011 I just switched to mod review. Check my first post to see what I did. I'll leave a final version of my track in this post as well. Special thanks to HeWasInItForMe (Or something like that ) for his super solid reviews of the track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted June 13, 2011 Share Posted June 13, 2011 Hm, poor overworked mods aren't here yet... I'll see what I can come up with. The drums remind me of this especally in the intro, but with a much thicker bass drum sound. (even still) The bass drum sound you have is great, I love it - the sound that is - But it just doesn't seem to quite fit in this application, even toned down it's still thick and sticks out more than I thought it would. It'd be good to get a second or third opinion on that tho.1:33 NEW PIANO! I like ett! I think the strings with it could sound a little fuller tho maybe? In some of the high places. Such a minor thing tho, that I really don't notice till I listen to the track 4 or 5 times. That's it man, everything else I got would just be rambling (well, more rambling ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Phew, I was hearing a lot of distortion in the low frequencies on this one but when I lowered the in-browser volume there wasn't any problems anymore, so I think it was just a problem with Tindeck's volume control. I'm gonna leave this point here just in case any other mod decides to come along and listen for it, too. Probably nothing to worry about though. Aside from that, this rocks pretty hardcore. This does end up feeling a little bit coverish, especially given how similar your remix style is to the original source, but I am hearing a lot of personalization, altered melodies, and solos that help keep things fresh so I don't think you should have a problem on that front. You've got this one wall-of-sounded pretty heavily, but I can't help but feel like it'd be beneficial if the pianos and strings could be a bit more prominent in the mix. I'm assuming this would have to come a bit at the expense of those chugging rhythm guitars, so you might end up disregarding this advice entirely. However, I feel like the strings and the piano especially is a rather integral part of the soundscape and it keeps this from being just another plain ole' rock remix, so my personal recommendation would be to try and give those a bit more prominence. I didn't have a problem with the kick like hewhoisiam did, in fact the drums sounded fine to me. I dig this mix though, I think it should pass no problem even as-is, but perhaps there's a few little tweaks that could be made so that it's even more of a solid pass. Good work dude, you're improving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Escape Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 Thanks a lot for taking the time to listen guys. I appreciate it. I think I'll submit this song in the hopes of making an entrance into the OCR remixer list (which would be sick). Emunator, thanks for the confidence boost, and for noticing that I've improved over my other remixes Steve, I'll look forward to many a great critique from you in the future Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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