*NO* Super Mario Land 'Rap Ruinz'

[djpretzel]

Email sub file Rap-Ruinz.mp3

My remix name:

1st in Lyne

(Collaborator-Trance-Canada)

Page (not my actual site) http://ghettoflame.deviantart.com/

This doesn't have the song.It's an attachment instead,my viewers.

Real name:

Cedric Peery

(Email:flowjinx@yahoo.com)

Game remixed:

Super Mario Land

(system-Original Gameboy

original song-Ruins)

Basically,this song has

uniqueness and good timing,

andI always liked the music from

the Ruins levels of this original game.

What inspired me was the fact that I like this game,

and the music was pretty sweet on certain levels.

Figured that if I turn it into hiphop,it'll be dope,you know.

I have certain sounds like cymbals,and other sounds of

different tones.In fact,I'll send the midi for you to compare

to the original,and the difference is going to be very clear,viewers.

At first,it was just a beat on a midi,but

I know better than that...so after a few

months of neglect,I had the structure

in my head,putting it together,but I needed

the collaboration to put another persons' touch,

so I chose Trance-Canada,another OC remixer,

ignorant of his skill and creativity,since he did one

mix,but I chose him randomly,but still a wise choice,nevertheless.

The structure,flow,and chords in the verses one and two needed

changes,the sound was terrifically equalized compared to its former sound,

the style of beats evolved,and of course,as I took drum practice,I made better beats.

I started with a simple technoish beat,but according to my standards,it needed "hiphopism",

so...that's exactly what I did,along with doubling of notes high,mid,and low to join another.

Of course,everyone needs a surprise,so my sounds jump in,

but yet,I had to tweak knobs and change notes and sounds

for the right appeal to come into this song,spending not too

much or too little time into this song,my viewers.The amount

of months I took was 2 months,after the serious negligence and

forgetting of this remix of capability.

[Harmony]

Haha, I just started a rap remix of this same track today! The source is definitely cool and brings back some good ole’ Game Boy memories.

Problem with this source is that it’s only a few bars so avoiding the repetition pitfall is really difficult. I actually think that you did a good job of that by throwing in a lot of original stuff as well as the Mario World “Underworld” theme.

There are some pretty tight beats at 0:30 and 2:11 that should be able to inspire some sweet lyrics from a good MC. In fact this would work a whole lot better if those beats were kept throughout and you found a good rapper to collab with because unfortunately the sections other than the straight hip-hop sections are pretty weak. The intro, though simplistic, isn’t bad but what’s up with 1:00-1:40? That section is full of odd harmonies and uninteresting or awkward original melodies. The transition to the Underworld theme at 2:41 is non-existent and then there’s the weird synth at 2:42 that is way too loud and harsh. 3:12-3:34 is just too simplistic and sparse to provide a good exit.

There are a few cool parts to this mix but it’s not all there yet. A lot can be learned from the WIP and ReMixing forums so be sure to check them out for help with this and your future mixes. Keep working at it.

NO

[Liontamer]

http://www.zophar.net/gbs/sml1.zip - Track 2

http://www.zophar.net/nsf/smb1.zip - Track 2 ("Underground BGM")

Some generic sounds in there, like the pulsing effects, but some decent usage. Not much done to this one beyond adding some hip-hop instrumental style beats under the original melody.

The synths were really thin and sparse-sounding on the whole. No meat to the mix at all (aside from the bass thumps) and that basically killed it coming out of the gate. I'm all for a good beat, but this needs a lot more effort put into it to give things some power.

The clap/bass thump beat structure that came in at :30 reminded me of "Tipsy" by Jaekwon. Saw that guy roll up into a Waffle House I ate at in ATL a year ago. No lie. He and his entourage had a stretch Hummer with them and the chick on his arm had Chanel earrings on. Some peeps got all the luck.

Then some SMB Underground BGM stuff was thrown in at 2:41 for good measure. That was actually better stuff than the Ruins material here.

Stop overdoing the cymbals at 3:22; tacky. Don't mean to be a wet blanket on shit, but you need to beef shit up. You got some of the Dirty South style in you, Cedric, I can definitely here that. Do like Harmony says and swing by the ReMixing forums for info on how to make your programs work harder for you and the WIP forum for fan feedback. I'd say move to the next project and just treat this one as a learning experience, but feel free to work on this one further to see where else you can take it.

NO

[GrayLightning]

Too much reverb. This genre doesn't need this much reverb. Things should be more upfront and in your face.

There's no meat in the mix. The synths sound thin and almost preset-ish. This is way too sparse, it definitely needs some kind of vocal work on top of this. The way it is just now, it just sounds shallow. As far as the beats, they sounded decent. I think more eq and compression work is needed though, they sound lifeless, dull (as far as sound quality) and way too far back in the stereo field.

Keep practicing, but as noted by liontamer move on and consider this learning experience. Keep at it. NO

[The wingless]

Phat b33tz to enable. You may fire when ready.

Like everybody else has said, it sounds like a foundation layer... as if the entire piece is there to cushion some vital *Something*, be it vocals, a dynamic lead, anything. Right now, it's remarkably hollow in the sense that the available tracks can't hold the piece up by itself. The piece can't stand on its own, and you gotta fix dat, yo.

NO

add *soooooooomething* as a lead