DragonAvenger Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Original Decision Greetings Once Again! First off, thank you for allowing me to resubmit and thank you to Liontamer, OA and DragonAvenger for their honest feedback. It really gave me the kick in the butt I needed to not only go back and listen carefully, but an opportunity to learn some new things. I've decided that, to put things into perspective in relation to the original music, I would be a bit more descriptive with my decisions. I look forward to your feedback. Sincerely, George Contact Information Guy_Sweater George Hufnagl 46283 Submission Information Angry Birds Anger is for the Birds Main Title Theme - Original version - Resubmitted version - First off, per the recommendation of the review committee on all accounts, I've spent a lot more time with production and working with the stereo space, especially in relation to the drums. It was also a help going to the WIP forum section - thanks for the tip. The second main critique from Liontamer was that the instrumentation didn't click together well. I spent a lot of time in choosing/tweaking new synths that both supported the overall aesthetic and clarified musical ideas. Lastly, the other critique from OA is that I may have been a bit too free with the source material and, due to the length of the track, more of it should be used for clarity (I think that's the subtext of that statement). While I didn't fundamentally change the amont of material I used (the first 30 seconds of the theme), I adapted some of that material to later sections in order to further emphasis the main thematic material in the arrangement. OTHER NOTES: I originally stated that it was in 5/4, when it should've been described as being in 5/8. This just makes more musical sense. In addition, the tempo has been increased by 10% to give it more energy and the opening was given more orchestration to help set up the impact of the main body of music. Thanks for your time! -- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 There's definitely a lot of improvement in this, but I think there's a couple issues that are now brought to light, and some other things that still need a little more tweaking. You definitely pulled back on the crowding overall, but I think you went a little too far, and a lot of the synths are sounding rather thin. This is especially noticeable for the bass. I'd try layering some of the instruments to get a fuller sound where it needs it. On another note, there's still some parts that are feeling mechanical, and overall could use a little bit more humanization. Also, is it just me, or is there a little bit of distortion at 1:19, and later at 1:57? The arrangement focuses a lot on dissonance, which isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, but I do think it works for the song itself, and the angriness of the birds. Hoping you don't get discouraged and keep at this. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I'd say this is an improvement overall, but where is the bass for most of this? Either it tacets for most of the track, or it's super quiet, but mostly the former. It definitely is progressive, but the lacking of a bass foundation makes it sound like a few songs on top of each other, instead of mixed meters. Comparing it to something like Meshuggah ( ) that has a similar compositional style, they have a super beefy bottom end that gives it direction and a core. I do think the production and arrangement is a step in the right direction, but it needs some bass. No, please resubmit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halc Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 digging some of the sounds here, but i have to agree that the soundscape just feels really hollow, and the lead guitar is kinda nasal-y for lack of a better word. seconding OA's request for more BASS too, because this seems completely devoid of it. however I think the arrangement and meter changes are really creative. hopefully you can push through with another resub, because this has potential, but it's still not quite there yet. NO(resub) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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