DragonAvenger Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Remixer Name: JourneyJay Real Name: Jaysin Christensen Email: jaysinc@gmail.com Website: Soundcloud.com/journeyjay Forum UserID: 37733 Game Arranged: Final Fantasy 8 Name of "Original Soundtrack" Arrangement: The Man With The Machine Gun Name of Original Arrangement: Journey With A Machine Gun PlayStation One Original Composer: Nobuo Uematsu FF8 was my obsession as a kid, ad I love the music soooo much. I hope to take part in an FF8 album here on ocremix someday. ---------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 Definitely a different approach to this source. Slowing it down and adding a mellower feel definitely changes a lot of the outlook of the original, there's a lot of introspection going on here. In terms of arrangement, I felt like the track had a very slow build, but it never reached a climax. The super long and steady buildup kind of made me lose focus while listening, because there wasn't really anything different to keep my interest after a while. Some of this can be attributed to no instrument directly taking a lead roll, or when they do (like the flute) being not very prominent. I'd shift your balance around a little to have some instruments more in the spotlight. I will also note that a lot of the synths, especially because they are exposed, are pretty weak. I'd look into either upgrading or using some subtle doubling to help beef up the sounds. There are a couple areas that notes weren't lining up right to me. One section was 3:52; something felt like a wrong note there, so I'd do a listen through carefully to pick out some of those discrepancies. You've got a solid start here, but overall the arrangement needs some work to give the track more direction. I'd look into trying to add a real climax to the piece, and maybe changing your arrangement to add more variation overall to keep the listener's interest. Production needs some work as well, hit up our WIP forums to get some more advice! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 To add to what DA mentioned, you're writing includes some dissonance - purposefully I think - which works in some places, but not as well in others. Sections like 1:11 work, but :42, :47 (especially), and throughout the song the backing strings just sound like they're on the wrong notes. Flute attack is really slow for the part you're writing for it, making some notes overlap and making it sound fakey. Electric guitar (slayer?) really isn't doing you any favors here for as prominently as it's featured honestly. With all the different elements coming together at the same time at 3:37, things become really jumbled and I'm not sure what to focus on. Hope this doesn't come off as too much of a downer, but I think there's a lot of work left to be done in production and arrangement before this reaches the bar. I think it would be a good idea to spend some time in the workshop forum so you can get some incremental feedback to help you out here. No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halc Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Deia and Justin laid down some nice crits here. definitely an unexpected/welcome change of approach to this source, but ultimately pretty slow-moving and repetitive. the overall soundscape is super thin yet the instrumentation manages to sound crowded. theres also quite a few weird off key notes/progressions, and the electric guitar sample is atrocious. like Justin, hopefully my vote doesn't come off as harsh, but this definitely needs a lot of work before we could consider it for OCR. hit up the workshop, keep writing music and building your chops. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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