Liontamer Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 LT Edit - Original decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=64173 Hey man, Sorry to bother you, but RoeTaKa told me I could pm you a revised edition of my DSoP track & you'd post it on the que list. I'm not really sure but I though I'd give it a shot. If by chance I can do... what I'm attempting to do here's my info. Contact Details Handle: Joker Name: David L. Puga Email: Davejkr@prodigy.net Forum Profile: 16059(?) ReMix info Game: DooM Song: The Imp's Song E1M2 Comments: So, I made the original Industrial Strength for th DSoP. But, to my slight dismay, a ,ot of people were unhappy that I strayed to far from the original. So I went back to the mix, even though I thought I was done with it. Turned out I still had some ideas for it, & with the help of TO I made the I.M.P. Edit. The first section after the intro has my own version of the original, then after the break I decided to bring in a more true to the original bassline & synth combo. It really does sound a lot different than the DSoP version, blah blahblah. I've written enough. P.S. The I.M.P. stands for "I made poopies!" So it's the "I made poopies Edit." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Orichalcon Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Well first thing's first. It's a very good sign that you were willing to go over the mix and try to make it better, considering how annoyingly frustrating and tedious it can be to go over and redo the same parts of a mix over and over again. There are still issues here however. The bassline of the source piece has definately been brought out much more clearly than it was in the original mix. And there are some very nice atmospheric sections. The break at 1:58 is nice, and works well in the context of the mix. The strings softly working their way in and out of the mix volume-wise is a good touch, the bassline working its way in works well as well. Around 2:30 there are samples of E3M3 (Deep into the Code) sneaking their way in there as well. The main problem with this mix is that it sounds very dysfunctional, and we don't get any resolving sections in the mix. The second half of the mix is the main culprit, with the percussion being the main source of the problem. Each industrial hit in the beat is on the 3rd half beat, for the entirety of the mix. It would have been much nicer on the ears and the overall sound of the mix if this section had simply broken away into a more varied beat where the hit was coming ON the third beat, rather than after it. It's not a major issue, and the mix survives well enough without it, it just would have kept the mix sounding fresh and flowing more lively than it does at the moment. The bassline switches up and down from F# to C# to B, however the squeaky lead synth continues to play its random little melodies without really changing to fix the key changes of the bassline. It might be a good idea to remove those squeaky synths from that second half of the mix and put something else in place that keeps in key with the melody. Maybe some guitar, maybe a more melodic synthline. There are plenty of options. After so many revisions of the mix, it's very difficult for me to make a decision on this. The mix has so many unique qualities that I love about it. The sound is crisp, clear and enjoyable to listen to. But it still doesn't sound finished to me. It has a lot more potential that I don't think Joker is quite capable of reaching just yet. My suggestion would be to put this mix aside for a few months, work on some other stuff, and come back to work on breaking out the full potential of the mix later on down the track. The other option is to perhaps seek out someone to collab with on bringing in some extra ideas to bring out the full potential of the mix, and give you some direct help on fixing up some of the issues that the mix still has. This is some nice work, Joker. I love the mix, even more so now than I did in the DSoP. But it's still not quite there. NO (One more Resubmit down the track) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 http://www.doom2.net/~doomdepot/music/doom%201%20&%202%20midis.zip - "E1M2 - Nuclear Plant" & "E3M3 - Pandemonium" Pretty much the same stuff going on here as last time around, re: the intro. Good sounds there. Stuff finally kicked in at :49. Still wish the original on bassline was more of the focal point, because its easy for it to get lost in there. Nonetheless, the production was a lot stronger. Seemed to be some dissonance going on after 2:04 with the way the synth lead, the supporting synth, and the strings were combining; didn't sound good. I did like the source melody being brought up so strongly at 2:11. VERY pimp sounding. Good transition at 2:34 into the next section, though I can totally hear how that one new supporting synth starting at 2:32 that was referencing "Pandemonium (E3M3)" was clashing notes with the other material. Percussion patterns never changed from 2:33-3:37. They work well, but could use some more slight timing variations on the beats, like TO also suggested. NICE section at 3:37, though that final ending at 4:00 was almost too "nice-sounding" and sweet to work as an appropriate ending. Just my opinion, but it didn't seem to fit the style. I agree with TO that there's a lot of good stuff going on here. Like I told you when I PMed you, David, I think this new version sounds WAY better. Very sharp/clear and possessing good power. The arrangement just needs a more direction & focus, the percussion patterns need more variation (but do it subtlely; it doesn't need an overhaul), the clashing notes need to be fixed, and the ending could resolve better (but it's not a major issue). EDIT: LOL! TO told me that the ending was actually a suggestion of his. The whole thing seemed dark and tense, then....flowers. I'd rather it didn't end like that, but I can chock it up to style. This one could definitely be the one, as long as you put a good deal of care into one last resubmission. I'd stress running any major revisions by some people to make sure you're addressing some of these issues. I wanna stress again that this was a MAJOR improvement and you're definitely going in the right direction. If you need to take some time off it before looking at it again, feel free. NO (definitely resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vig Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 this is pretty cool stuff...well built, good suspense, etc. the lead is hurting. too thin, too high. i'd scrap it and try for another instrument entirely. as the song goes on, it becomes slightly less focused, more chaotic. dont loose sight of where you want to end up. that screechy instrument is still killing me. now it's not even doing anything productive, it's just screeching for no reason. some work to be done, but a good foundation. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrayLightning Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 This version sounds a bit drier than the original. While it is clearer, maybe it's just me, but the atmosphere doesn't seem to be as dense and interesting. I think there were some good and bad things in this resubmission. Drums and percussion were substantially more interesting and stronger. They sounded really limp and bland before. But now it's got more panache. Some parts like at around 2:32 with that weird screetchy synth way on the left distract me. It sounds ugly and too thin. It adds chaos to the mix. I don't think it blends well at all. Some of my other gripes from before remain. I think you could work more on the focus, at one point before getting to the end sections, it keeps repeating over and over without much evolution. I'd like to hear a little more reverb on some of the instruments to give it density and atmosphere - the string pad and choirs for example. Indeed a good foundation, but I still think more work needs to be done. Please work on this more, it's really promising, but my vote from before still stands. NO, resubmit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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