jordanrooben Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) I waited a while to post this, because I wanted to be able to show improvement since my last post. Version 1: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower Version 2: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower-2 Version 3: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower-3 Version 4: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower-4 Edited April 4, 2013 by jordanrooben Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanohi Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 My initial reaction is that the kick is very loud starting at around 0:30. It drowns out the rest of the song for a while until the louder synth comes in, but it still feels like it's a bit too much throughout the song. The little dubstep area in the middle is pretty cool, but the synth used there could be cleaned up a bit. It sounds like a lot of effects being bitcrushed too much. The arrangement is pretty cool, I like the personal touch you added to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theory of N Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 My first thought when the bass came in was that it was in the wrong key. But then the rest came in and I realized that intro was...strange. It's in a different key or mode or something and doesn't work well. Yeah, I'd definitely tone the kick back quite a bit. It can still be a driving force without being so in-your-face. That rough saw could use some refining. Even more so at 1:53 when it goes half-time. It's not tight enough and interferes with the other sounds going on. That whole half-time section actually sounds like it's missing something. I don't know if it's maybe something in the drums that feels empty or the fact that it's all low-end. I'll be keeping an eye out for the next update Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Okay! Version 2: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower-2 Thanks for noticing the bass during the intro. I had accidently used two different keys there. Haha, my bad. I cleaned up the wobble bass, and added some more hats, as well as low-mid frequencies during the half time interlude. Hopefully it sounds better now. I did clear away some frequencies to subdue and shape the kick a bit. It's not as overpowering, but if you guys could be a bit more specific as to why the kick specifically was a problem, that would be great because I didn't think it was much of a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I think you turned down the right frequencies on the kick, but it's missing the high frequency thwap it needs, so now it's buried. It'd be great if you can use some sort of band compressor to slightly compress the low frequencies created at the tail of the kick. The sub bass is quite loud, and it's cluttering up the mix quite a bit. Try lowering the volume a little bit on it. I can barely hear anything else. The snare sounds slow. Try choosing a different snare sample with a faster snap. Or, layer on one with a faster snap, and the current snare could be the high end sizzle layer of the two-layered snare. 2:22 - the lead is pretty shrill to me. Can you try to find another synth lead? The song overall is very loud, but I think it's mainly because of the sub bass. After 2:54, it's pretty much over. The remaining 30 seconds don't really do anything, so it would be great if you could work out a quicker ending, or add something more to the remaining 30 seconds. You're getting better, but this still needs some work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanohi Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Sounding much better! As for more specific on the kick, listen to Timaeus for this one. The deep section of the kick is right where it needs to be, it just needs a high-end click or tap for a bit more accent! Also, the half-tempo section sounds much cleaner! Well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theory of N Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Firstly, I'm going to mirror timaeus on everything he said. The kick, shrill lead at 2:22, etc. After hearing this again and listening to more than just sounds, source usage is a huge problem. You're varying your sounds enough but the entire mix is just the same 4-measure phrase being repeated for 3 minutes. When that shrill lead comes in at 2:22, you vary up the rhythm and that's a good start but it doesn't do too much to make it interesting when everything else is still same-y. I'm not really a fan of the "wobble bass". Mostly because it doesn't wobble. It's not very interesting and it kind of sounds like a lawnmower as opposed to a refined synth. I think in order for it to work, it needs to be tweaked quite a bit or a different wobble bass needs to be used entirely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 Version 3! https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower-3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 The snare is still slow. I don't think you really did anything with it. It's really lacking the punch it needs. The lead at 0:45 is a bit buried under its reverb and the tremolo bass, which... might be playing in octaves? I'm not really much of a fan of the tremolo bass that goes until 1:14. It just feels weird to have it for that long. The sync lead at 1:14 seems like it's playing on retrigger or poly, which aren't effective voice modes for this particular lead. Try legato with a little bit of glide and vibrato. The lead at 1:46 feels rigidly sequenced, as it doesn't really have any natural phrasing. It's like when a person is breathing in between every note. The distorted bass that comes in at 2:08 is too loud. The lead at 2:52 has the same problem as the sync lead; it would be better off as legato with some vibrato and expressiveness. And you probably know about the lack of an ending. I can see you're making some changes, but maybe you should take a little side trip to sound synthesis for a bit, then come back and try improving the synth leads in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Strader Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Hi there! You've got a lot of off notes with the bass during the intro, as well as off notes with the lead. I haven't heard the source so that may be from the source -- I wouldn't be surprised, this is Pokemon we're talking about The song loses power at the 1:59 breakdown, and then the subsequent saw bass that enters is way too overpowering, especially when the song re-enters at 2:22. It's so loud you can barely hear anything else but it and perhaps the hihat. The snare could have some more high end snap to it, but it didn't seem like a huge deal. Some of the other levels are more important to clear up first before tweaking that to cut through. I think the kick is too strong to use it in any pattern other than a 4 on the floor. For example, this part at 2:53 just sounds like chaos because there is so much sub pump to the kick, and the bass synth is playing a bunch of notes that are basically indiscernible due to everything that is going on in that range, but at 3:22 it gets to a more normal progression and everything is pretty clear. (repeating the part at 0:30 but with less backing?) The sudden cutoff at the end is strange. At 0:44 you bring in a low grumbly bass that just sounds like a mess along with everything else going on. I personally think the song would benefit from a more clean toned bass and less clutter in the low frequencies with all these different low saws. If you got a really nice sidechained airy pad to help fill in some of the sparse areas, that would also bring a lot to the song. I don't think the arrangement is particularly cohesive, this may be due to the source, but you should try to work the source into a more normal structure.. The song sounds a bit odd -- maybe unintentionally avant-garde due to the odd arrangement decisions. I hope anything I said here is helpful, keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Version 4: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/burned-tower-4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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