Dark Cloud 2 - Veniccio piano bar

[PTCoA]

Hey guise, just got this rough demo of a piano cover of the Veniccio theme from Dark Cloud 2/Dark Chronicle. Its a piano bar/restaurant rendition.

Its still in its "idea" stage, so this track was done nearly fully improv. The form hasn't yet been figured out, it will go something like this. Any criticism would be great, especially regarding form and composition.

Also, I know the track isn't very loud. The finally version will be louder.

Here is the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY2Nqrlxcn0

Here is my version: http://tindeck.com/listen/oeav

-Pallet Town Conservatorium of the Arts

[PTCoA]

Bump for feedback?

[Lie Mf B]

I think this forum is a little slow during the summer time.

Very nicely played! The original tune sure is very laidback loungey, almost muzak. I like your piano version better -- it has a great live feel. You wrote that it's just a demo, but I think it's great already. You might risk making a stiffer version if you start "cleaning" it up too much.

[FaytxStay]

This is absolutely beautiful...

[PTCoA]

Thanks for the replies guys, but is there any specific stuff I need to work on? I need some hard criticism.

New version up soon!

[electric concerto]

Piano sounds kind of thin. I like pianos to be full and warm, especially in this style of music.

I hear a couple sour notes in there. Nothing too drastic, but if you were trying to go for majestic, these notes are not it. Try to stick to your key when you get to the ambitious parts and you got something going.

You need some sort of change up in there. The song begins to get a little stale, and it's a shame. Put in some kind of change in song flow to keep it interesting, because right now it's something I want to fall asleep to, but not enjoy.

[Nostalvania]

My favourite part of the arrangement was from 0:00 until about 0:43. It starts out rather quiet and soft, that's nice and I think the first theme could be even quieter.

In my opinion, the arrangement doesn't really have a direction right now.

I agree with electric concerto that the song needs some change up. Maybe you could use the interlude at 1:07 as a transition into a straight 4/4 time, maybe jazz? And how about a key change somewhere in the song?

I think you could also be a bit more adventurous in terms of harmony.

Keep it up and I'm looking forward to hear a revised version.