Liontamer Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) Contact Info ReMixer Name: David L. Puga (formerly The Joker) Real Name: David L. Puga Email: Website: facebook.com/dlpmusic Submission Info Game Title: Sonic 2 ReMix Title: Egg Shaped Prison Source Title: Boss Theme Original Link: ReMix Link: Comments: This track is from BadAss Volume 2, as well as the first ReMix I submit under my own name. I wanted to do Robotnik's theme for a while. It's one of my favorite songs from a game. I made this version of the remix from the bones of an older remix that just wasn't living up to what I wanted it to be. I always thought of Robotnik (I know it's Eggman now, but it was Robotnik when I played the game) was seen as more of a monster to the woodland creatures in Sonic. Abducting them & performing horrible experiments on them. I wanted the track to kind of capture that. I was inspired by the 28 Days Later theme a bit, & went from the simple piano intro into a more dirty electro sound. Ending with a guitar chugg & raising the distortion over everything to symbolize Robotnik's complete transformation into the Eggman. The Egg Shaped Prison being his own mind. -------------------------- Edited September 12, 2013 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 Not really sure I'm feeling the piano chord dissonance in here, but it's not a huge deal. Whatever part comes in at :32 seems too distant and quiet compared to the beats. Not sure everything should sound quite this lo-fi, but I could live with it if the arrangement was on point; it's purposeful, I just don't know about it properly serving the track, including the purposeful distortion getting really loud from 2:58-3:11. I could see it working, but I'd pull it back a little. Not sure if the dissonance brought back from 1:20-1:35 through the supporting chords works very well. OK, after listening back some more, that definitely isn't working, IMO. Also, at 1:35, I hear how your brass orchestration is meant to arrange the source tune, but I thought it was handled too liberally, and it goes on repeating like that for more than half the piece. It sounded like too liberal of a simplication of the source tune, and not something I'd count as overt source usage; if I'm wrong and you can make a direct A-to-B comparison from the source to this mix, let me know. The string backing is more clearly arranged from the source melody, but it's drowned down by 1:44 as other instruments were added into the mix. Don't lose site of the source not being arranged TOO drastically. Again, please correct me if I'm wrong. The structure here was deliberate, but it plods. Even though you varied the instrumentation, it just came off to me like the writing wasn't particularly sophisticated. I get how this was a gradual build, but 1:35-3:11 droned for too long without doing much, again, droning for more than half the piece in a way that ran too long and marginalized the overt usage of the source material. If you can keep the source from sounding marginalized and underdeveloped AND make the source usage more overt and varied from 1:35-3:11, I could get behind this, over-the-top production.mixing and all). But right now this would need some arrangement substance/TLC. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Man, Larry really nailed the crits on this one. I'm just going to share some of my additional thoughts. The distortion was a little too intense for me as a listener and to be honest, it sounded more like unintentional clipping or an audio issue rather than an effect. I guess that part of it is more a subjective crit, but at the very least I'd recommend toning it down. Gonna also agree on pacing, as the 1:35 section really went on for too long, despite the fact that it's intended to be a gradual build. I think condensing that section would actually improve on the effect of what you're going for here (the tense buildup to sudden, mysterious drop off). You've definitely achieved the mood you set out for with the track and there's good stuff here. Keep at it! NO resubmit, please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 I'm just gonna play yes man on this one and copy what's been said (or no man, as it were). The distortion was a little too high throughout and sounded more like sloppy mixing than edgy effect, though the ending worked. I also have to second the concerns about the pacing, especially the middle sections. That build was a little too drawn out to maintain interest. Not feelin' this one as is, but definitely promising. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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