Palpable Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) Lunar Storm.mp3 Contact Information: ReMixer name: ladyWildfire real name: Elizabeth Carter email address: website: https://soundcloud.com/ladywildfire userid: 11659 Submission Information: Name of games arranged: Ducktales, Mega Man 9 Name of arrangement: Lunar Storm Name of individual songs arranged: The Moon, Tornado Man Comments: This song was created for the Wily Castle Remix Gauntlet, 2013 ------------------------------------------------------- Edited June 22, 2014 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palpable Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I like the arrangement ideas here. The melodies are blended together effortlessly, and the steady beat-focused direction worked in your favor. I think it could have used more breaking up of patterns, less repetition, more detail work, but the core ideas are good and the issues were mostly in the first half. The production is not on the same level, unfortunately. The instrument handling the melody in the intro has a lo-fi sound that quickly sounds out-of-place amidst the more modern sidechained saws. Once the kick and bass come in, they take over the soundscape too much and make the melodic elements harder to hear. The midrange synth that kicks off the verse also has a lo-fi sound, and the thin high-pitched synth that handles the Tornado Man melody is given barely an inch of room to breathe. I think you need to break the mixing back down so that the leads are given more of the room that the bass/kick have. The synth/instrument design is also somewhat basic and could use some extra automation or more complex sounds to keep interest. Good start Beth, but needs more work! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 I think Vinnie covered the issues well. Some of the leads are thin, soft, and sound out of place and buried, while the bass is very heavy and loud, and the click of the kick is a bit too prominent. There are some very loud bass notes in the breakdown starting at 1:37. Some of the percussion (hats and similar) are too loud/dry. There are some good writing ideas here though, nice blending of themes. Nice swirling pad. At 3:44 there is some harmonic clashing that should be fixed. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Once the beat came in at :15, I thought this piece was missing clarity in terms of the production. It may just be me, but I felt the countermelodic synth brought in at :29 was really bland & unexpressive until 1:38, and the core beat was too simplistic & plodding. And both were too repetitive until they finally dropped out at 1:37. The soundscape was produced in a way to somewhat fill up the soundfield, but the texture was nonetheless very empty and basic. The glassy lead :43 sounded very distant and the timing wasn't smooth. I'm not sure if it was sequenced or played in, but either way the timing just wasn't clicking. I'm definitely not hating on this, but I'm just not feeling like the polish was there in terms of the sounds, or the sophistication & complexity of the writing so far. It feels like a WIP. Cool dropoff at 1:37, though around 2:05 i really felt the soundscape was too muddy and the leads needed more room. That was definitely the case once the beat picked back up at 2:32. Really cool and smart interpretation of the Moon theme at 2:32, but that lead needs to cut through some more. The balance was a bit better at 3:00 with the higher-pitched lead, which cut through more; things were still kind of flooded there, but it was more tolerable. Not sure what happened from 4:01-4:22, but there's a TON of light yet audible distortion interfering with the piece. Gotta clean that up. The second half clicked for me a lot more than the first half, but overall this still needs a lot of additional work. I think it could have used more breaking up of patterns, less repetition, more detail work...The synth/instrument design is also somewhat basic and could use some extra automation or more complex sounds to keep interest. Definitely co-signing with that. In a nutshell, those were the two things I most identified with after reading Palpable's vote. He hit on some issues I found, only articulated a different (read: better) way. Everything else said by him and Chimpa has merit, but those two things... address those for sure. That said, I definitely know you have what it takes to get it there and hope you don't drop this one. Take the criticism that you agree with, sidestep what you don't agree with or don't want to mess with, and see how much further you can take this. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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