Chimpazilla Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) I would love to have you consider my most recent remix to go onto your site. Conctact Info: 1. Collzayfu 2. 3. 4. soundcloud.com/collzayfu 5. 54066 Submission Info: 1. F-Zero 2. I Missed the Damn Bus (title open for discussion) 3. Mute City Comments: This is the first remix I have ever done to this extent. I know that I may not be saying much, but 'tis true. I haven't done many remixes in the past. The last one I did was on the Puzzle Bobble theme. I must say, it was fun beyond explanation to do this and may be doing more in the near future. Now, lets get to the title of the piece. Why did I name it that? Well, I missed the bus to school... twice. and that was 4 days prior to this email. I was super stressed out (who wouldn't be, you missed school twice and when college, it ain't no joke at all). What was funny is that I acted out the whole scene as if it were a movie and I played this song in my head. Thus began me creating this remix in leu of that moment. Now, I don't mind changing a few words around (like damn to darn) if necessary, but come on... I missed the god damn bus, twice Edited July 16, 2015 by Flexstyle final vote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 I love this source tune. I love the name of this remix and the story behind it. This is a very good sounding remix. I love me some liquid DnB. I was baffled by the time signature, I counted to 15 but the beats seemed faster than 8th notes.... 15/16? I had to ask Cameron, and he replied that he varied between 7/8 and 8/8 so I was right-ish. Haha! (ok so I STILL think those are 16th note counts) The mix does sort of drag after awhile even thought it sounds good. There are sections that I feel could be shortened, and there is repetition in the writing. The beats are great. The piano sounds mechanical but it's used well enough and the timbre is good. I love the whooshy pads. The claps are a little underwhelming. There are a couple of transitions that absolutely need to be fixed: 1. At 1:29, the bass pattern stops dead. That last note needs to be removed, or replaced with something that melds into that next swooshy section. Sounds like an error the way it is now. 2. At 4:42, there's the same issue with the final bass note, but also the drums stop dead at this point. Gotta remove that last bass note, and write some kind of outgoing drum bit there. Even just one final reverby crash might do the job. I dunno, other judges, is the arrangement too repetitive? NO (resubmit, but this is very close for me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 What's that, 7/8 then 4/4? Yeah, Chimpa says 15/16, and that sounds about right. Pretty cool. I didn't mind the bass pattern drop-off at 1:29, but agree it could be construed as a mistake. I didn't treat it as a negative here. Definitely disliked the unrealistic piano, particularly at :44 & 1:38; the lack of realism sounded very exposed. IMO, the soundscape was too thin in spots, and the sound design isn't super sophisticated. However, the overall subtle dynamic contrast in the piece from build-up to verse to chorus was solidly executed, and the textures were reasonably filled out. Did 3:05-3:46 repeat 1:38-2:19? Sure sounded like it most of the way. Pretty underwhelming cut-and-paste of that section, when some subtle differences would have made a meaningful difference in keeping the track engaging. Then 4:08-4:31 repeated :44-1:07, and 4:31-4:54 mirrored 1:18-1:39. Man, that's a lot of copy-pasta. Well, that's disappointing, especially after being so creative for more than half of the piece. I'd argue this piece could bear some measure of repetition, but nearly 2 minutes of it was copy-pasta. Repeating sections isn't an automatic dealbreaker, but in this case, it's how the repetition was at the expense of development and dynamic contrast for the arrangement. Right now, your energy level and style hits one gear and just sits there, so the piece needlessly drags. For now, I'm in the NO (resubmit) category as well, but this was a creative and strong start, well in the right direction, Cameron. You pulled off the time sig alteration beautifully, and made a solid go of it with these samples. That said, the last 2 minutes of writing were repetitive and stagnant. You DO NOT need to wildly change the writing (don't do that), tempo or intensity, but consider different leads, supporting rhythms, and/or textural changes for the last 2 minutes to keep the arrangement fresh and evolving. I definitely hope to see this posted in some form. Don't drop this one, Cameron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexstyle Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 Odd time signature stuff? I'm immediately a fan. Love how you handled that part of this mix. Plus one to Larry's crit about the piano sound--would you consider switching over to a Rhodes electric piano patch or something instead? I think it would fit really nicely with the chill DnB textures. It's also much easier to find a usable soundfont or something that won't break the bank. I'm not sure it's too repetitive necessarily, as I think the arrangement brings some new elements on the second time around, but I do agree that it wouldn't hurt to spice it up even more. Also, there's a section where it's just drums, the ambient patch, and a very sparse bass sound that I noticed (from about 1:09-1:30)--this section needs something more. You need to add modulation to your bass patch, another new element, or something just to keep the soundscape from emptying out unnecessarily. On the sections where the bass drops out, I think I know what you were trying to go for there, but do some filtering on the beat too. You've dropped the bass synth out, so also use a high-pass filter on the drums as well, so that the listener isn't hearing the bass of the kick but no reciprocating element in the synths. One more nitpick: transitions. You need to make it more interesting than just continuing the same break on the last four bars of a measure and stopping when the next section hits. Change up your drums, give us some fills, make it exciting to the listener! A sine drop or a reverbed kick or snare would help at the beginning of the sections where the drums drop out completely, just to give the soundscape some "closure" as it were. This one's a no from me, but I think it has a lot of promise. Just take better care of the sonic energy throughout the song, maybe clean up your sound choices a bit, make the second half of the song more varied compared to the first section, and I think you'll be going places at that point. Hope to see this one back soon! NO (resub) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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