"I'll Let You Grieve" - Silent Hill 2 "Promise" remix

[brokenbirthday]

An 80's darkwave inspired remix of "Promise" from the Silent Hill 2 OST. Critique away.  

 

Updated song with some of the critique I got. Let me know what you think.

 

REMIX

 

ORIGINAL SONG 

 

LYRICS:

 

Quote

Verse 1

There's a light at the end of the tunnel

I can see it through the haze

The shimmer breaks the illusion I've set for myself

Playing back yesterday

 

Verse 2

I give it all, I'm barely alive

It's like I haven't slept for days

Watching you whither away under those selfish eyes

I pray relief from the pain

 

Chorus

Please just lay me down

It's so hard to breathe

It's the paralyzing

Fear that you'll leave

Please just lay me down

And promise me just one thing

That you'll stay with me

And I'll let you grieve 

[brokenbirthday]

Bump again, because still no comments and finished. I guess I'll put it up for mod review if it stays without comments for a while.

[brokenbirthday]

Bump for mod review. 

[Gario]

Aw crap, seems you slipped through the cracks a little bit. C'mon, peeps, give this guy some love! In the meantime...

 

MOD REVIEW

 

Mmm, like the opening synth, there. Really sets an ethereal mood, there. The 80's sound is perfect for this, overall, though it may be just a touch subdued. Nice synth work throughout.

 

The voice work needs to be played out straight. The panning and the gating takes away from the track. It's just distracting when it's like that. From what I gather, the singing has some tuning issues, but it's hard to tell with the panning and such. Please fix that, as it would sound much better without the panning & gating.

 

The drums sound a little boring, and that snare really needs to sound more... 80's. I mean, you've got the synths down, so you need to go BALLS TO THE WALL 80's. The bass drum simply playing on the beat throughout the song really is a lost opportunity in giving the track some much needed variety. Change up the drum patterns from time to time. The addition of the hats mid-song helps, but it needs more overall.

 

Great song, though - you really nailed the style, for sure, and the words are quite good. Hopefully what I said helps a bit. Good luck, and keep it up!

[brokenbirthday]

Thanks a lot!

 

I'm definitely gonna center the vocals, I heard someone else say this as well. I liked the sort of moving incorporeal feel to them, but I definitely get the criticism. And if it's more distracting than ethereal, then I'm gonna lose the effect. Vocals will be fixed. As far as the tuning, I'm not sure. Maybe someone else can clue me in on that with another pair of ears. It may be weird that the first 2 verses are sung in a lower fashion than the chorus. It was to emphasize the fact that it's two different people (James in the verses, Mary in the chorus). Anyway, I'll see what other people think about it as well. I could just be terribly off key and not noticing. Singing is definitely my weakest musical ability, I think.

 

As for the drums, I kind of agree with you. The issue here is that the bass line, which I consider to be kind of the driving force of the song, was built around the idea of a "four on the floor" kick and snare. This is incredibly noticeable with the chorus bass line. In fact the interplay between the bass and the drums was initial inspiration for the entire direction of the song. Maybe I could add better fills or something. Or maybe the drums are so loud that they seem to be a focus. I don't know. I'll play around with it. 

 

The snare is made up of two Yamaha DX7 snares and more modern thin "clicky" snare. Maybe that modern one is the problem with the sound. I'll definitely play around with designing a better sound for it. 

 

Again, thanks a lot for the critique. I'm gonna try and get a little more feedback and then get back to working on it with the criticism in mind.

[brokenbirthday]

Updated it, so I'm setting it back to finished to see if I can get anymore general critique before setting it to mod review again. 

[Gario]

A quick recommendation: If you want feedback, giving it a WIP status improves your chances. I'm going to give it one for you, here, but 'Finished' implies 'I don't plan on working on it, but you can give it a listen if you want'.
 

Just an FYI.

[brokenbirthday]

Oh, okay. I just figured it meant that the song was a "complete song", and was using it as such. Thanks!

[brokenbirthday]

So, bump for mod review again. 

[Gario]

Hmm, still no response, eh? Sorry 'bout that. Let's give you a proper review, now.

MOD REVIEW / EVAL

 

I forgot how 80's the whole thing sounded, and I love every bit of it - you really nail the atmosphere. The drums sound quite a bit better, overall, so awesome work improving them.

 

All of the synth work, all of the balancing works great, especially as a backing for the vocal section. The vocals do need some work, though. Now that it's not panned and gated I can hear them more clearly. I get the style you're going for, which is prone to going flat. You need to be careful with that tendency, as you go flat quite consistently throughout the song (and it doesn't sound intentional). Due to how much breathiness you have in the vocals, the lyrics are a bit tricky to hear, but more importantly the vocals sound dominated by the synths. While the mixing is pristine throughout otherwise, you need to make sure that the vocals are not lost in the mix, as they are the centerpiece of the track.

Right now I'd say this would get a NO/RESUB, in it's condition, but if you get the vocals fine tuned this will be an easy pass on the panel. I look forward to it, since I really like this remix.

Also, Happy Thanksgiving!