*NO* Super Mario World 'Overworld/Athletic Theme (Vector U Remix)'

[Chimpazilla]

 

Hey I've never done this process before but I am a big fan of the site.

 

My Artist name is Vector U 

Real name is Victor Yu

The Game is Super Mario World for the SNES

My remix is of the Overworld theme/Athletic theme

 

This is a link to my song:

 

Let me know what you think!

 

[Chimpazilla]

This mix needs a proper title if it passes.  Dang, I like this!  The low end is nice and beefy, but there are some instances where I think I hear overcompression, where the low impacts hit such as at 0:22 and 2:08 . Good use of game sfx.  Some of the sounds are on the vanilla side, the main lead is pretty fun, but some of the backing and chords are a bit plain.  The drums are underutilized I think, other than the kick, the rest of the drums are too quiet and dry and they don't have much impact, and the drum patterns are repetitive.  The clap is very generic.  I'm trying to imagine this with some interesting, varied, effected, wide-panned, phased, etc., toploop action happening.

Source use is conservative but this is a really creative arrangement... until unfortunately after the middle breakdown, the track repeats absolutely verbatim.  From the clap at 0:20-1:38, that section is copy-pasted again from 2:05-3:24.  From 3:24-3:42 there is some nice interpretation/soloing going on briefly, but at 3:42 it's another retread of 1:20-1:37 until the end (granted, the lead there is a little different but the midi is identical), then it is just a cold stop with no real outro.  Lately I've been a bit more understanding of copy pasta and I've even been doing this here and there in my own tunes, but in this case I feel like the copy-pasted sections are rather large and there are zero additions to the next iterations as they appear (other than the slightly altered lead right at the end).  For me there needs to be some more personalization in the second half and after that bit of soloing before the "outro," and I'd love a proper outro while you're at it!

I hope you'll address these issues (overcompression on the impacts, better drumming and mixing of drums, and arrangement repetition) and send this back because I love the concept!

NO (resubmit, please)

[Liontamer]

Quick co-sign on Chimpa's NO vote. The personalization is evident, but she's right that the copy-pasta was in full force here, leading to a very underdeveloped, repetitive arrangement that also lacked dynamic contrast as a result; the additions starting at 3:23 weren't anywhere near enough to make up for that, since the track was practically over. I didn't mind the current level of compression or the drum mixing, but her advice on those aspects is correct; they're just not dealbreakers issues if the rest of the arrangement were fully developed and on point.

You're not inherently a bad musician or anything like that for doing so much cut-and-paste stuff, but the potential of this piece isn't fully realized due to you kneecapping the development and creativity put into it after a certain point. See what more you can do with that, and also consider other rhythmic, textural and/or tempo changes you could do to keep the piece fresh and not get so repetitive with the ideas. Good potential, Victor!

NO

[DaMonz]

I have to agree that the copy pasta is too strong, here. I won't beat a dead horse, the others have told enough about that already.

I'll add that I really like the style, it suits the track very well. It's super fun, and it shows that you definitely have the potential to make great OC ReMixes. Work on that arrangement structure, push that creativity up a couple of notches by varying the contents of your track in the second half, maybe even rework the ending, and you'll be on much more solid ground. Clarifying the mix as mentioned by Kris would also help, but it's not the main concern at all here in my opinion.

Keep at it! Looking forward to hear more from you.

NO (resubmit)