KaS Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 https://m.soundcloud.com/user-166733596/cool-dude-undertale-bonetrousle I want to practice towards getting a posted remix, so I made this. Feedback please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Ooo, nice drums. Although they get repetitive, the bass sounds pretty meaty. Very fitting for a good ol' EDM arrangement. The structure sticks pretty close to the source, but I like what you did with the themes in the middle of the track. There's potential to weave what you composed alongside the original source material and have it play off of itself, which you do a little bit of at the end. The overall soundscape seems a little static. It doesn't really sound like much changes throughout the arrangement. At about 2:20 it seems to lighten up, which is a relief - perhaps a few more moments like that sprinkled in the track would be helpful. The ending ends up sounding kind of hollow, though - the synth you use at the end there just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the track, for me. That could simply be my opinion, though. I like it, though. Nice work - hopefully some of what I said helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Not too bad; personally I did find the standard kick + clap rhythm to get stale rather quickly though, so changing up the drums by adding drum fills and microvariations would help reduce the repetition and encourage people to listen for longer. In general, having variation in your patterns (drums or other repeated elements) is a good idea to make your arrangements more interesting. You have a lower dynamic going on with the textural dropoff about 1/3rd of the way through, so that's good. I like the additional pads at 1:48, which help you move away from the sparseness of 1:23 - 1:48. So, you seem to have a nice grasp on textural additions/subtractions---but you can do more. A lot of the track was driving forward, even the texturally sparser sections, meaning that even if the remix were to be all drums or no drums, the underlying rhythm is fairly uniform throughout, and so, the lower-energy sections end up sounding similar to the higher-energy sections. Nothing technically wrong with that, but it can be better, and I think having more rhythmic differences would help add interest. Regarding the ending/outtro, I found the 2:40 reverse-snare-esque percussion to be rather upfront compared to the sparseness of the rest of the sounds, so it felt texturally awkward for me; might be what @Gario was referring to. Lastly, minor thing, but make sure your endings fade everything out completely; the delay on the percussion at the end cut off before it ended. Hope this helps! I did like it; it just has room for improvement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaS Posted July 13, 2016 Author Share Posted July 13, 2016 Thanks guys! The sound at 2:40 is actually Papyrus' speech sound, I just kinda threw it in there c: Everything both of you said is helpful, I'll go back to the track and see what I can do! Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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