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Facades (Working Title) - Would love some critique of vocals

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Link:https://app.box.com/s/qy2ypsucjoiw3fwbm3xlbmzy2loi8pm0

Hey guys, I'm working on an EP to be released by May 5 this year. I posted on the facebook group for some online vocal lessons, but I'm probably gonna have to get my hands dirty and just go do some more at a nearby school (expensive! lol). But I figured while I wait for that, maybe people here wouldn't mind giving a review in the meantime. Tell me things you like, hate, etc. I realize the last line I sing is a little off, it was kind of rushed, sorry about that!

If you are a seasoned singer I'd love to hear some comments :) thank you.
Lyrics

 

Quote

 

I gave you, I gave you all,

That I could ever

I'm breathing, I'm breathing bad,

Left me dumfounded

I gave you excuses

So you could live like I did

I'm breathin, I'm breathing bad

I kind of like it

 

I gave you, I gave you all

That we could ever

I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding bad

Take me to heaven 

My senses, have left me

My lungs are getting heavy

I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding bad

God don't forsake me

 

These walls are closing in

Facades are breaking thin

I'm walking straight to the final chapter

My heart is bleeding steady

I don't feel like I'm ready

I'm breathing, I'm breathing bad

God won't you save me

 

 

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YOO.

First thing I will say - your vocals aren't tooo bad. I can hear where you're sorta only half hitting notes on occasion. You also have a tenancy to scoop into notes but it doesn't sound like you're doing it entirely on purpose. The biggest tip I always got was "come at notes from above" so you're more likely to pronounce the note right on pitch.

You should sing more of this song like you did that last verse, it was more convicted and even. Also, careful of the fluttery vibrato, it can work sometimes but I'm not particularly a fan of it in most contexts and if it wasn't present it would give your approach a bit more honesty I feel. You pronounce words very deliberately which I think works for this style. 

The instrumental is cool, the vocals sort of take over the cool backing stuff you have going on that would help break it up a bit. The bass could also be playing lower notes imo at certain parts so that it has some punch in the low end. That may be me talking as someone who loves a good low end hanging around though. 

Hope that helps!

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I really appreciate the feedback Cyril. My teacher actually mentioned the swooping thing back in my lessons, i just forgot i was doing it haha. The vibrato thing you mention i think is coming from a lack of breath control. I was taught to speak, project, and thing sing to learn where to take breaths, I'm just concerned about being too loud and forceful in my singing. I'll post an update when I get some drum bass and vocal work done, and let you know. Thanks again 

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