Still Alive

[verafx81]

 

[Rozovian]

40 seconds in, and it's clear your writing and the source vocals are not in the same key (and slightly off in tempo too, leading to timing problems). The overall sound design is all over the place, with plenty of good elements that just don't fit well together. There are a few things, some simple synth things and lo-fi-sounding things that you perhaps should just replace, or just mix better.

The arrangement seems decent enough, so you might have a rather good track here if you can sort out those things.