moebius Posted September 17, 2023 Share Posted September 17, 2023 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm currently going through the tracks I want to submit and giving them another pass. This is the first one I would like some feedback on: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/yh8fr78j7oc3dwekmv374/Day-Market.mp3?rlkey=okfbgxwvlfvdnetgnbaauiob5&dl=0 Original: Some notes: This track takes the original song and turns it into a much more upbeat version of it (hence the title). I changed the time signature for the A section to 4/4 but kept the B section in 6/8 and use metric modulation between the two sections. To keep things fresh I wrote an alternative A section for the repeat that features the two saxes playing different lines instead of playing unison. Edited December 17, 2023 by moebius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemophiliac Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 Evaluation: Checked out the latest version on discord today. I like the vibe and I can see how the original source is ported into a more energetic and upbeat feel. There's definitely space for more expansion and development in the arrangement here. Consider a contrasting feel for a new section that drops the energy of the drums down and lets the listener relax for a moment. You could even let the piano or organ take over as a lead during that, and it would really help break up the track. I'd echo the same that was mentioned on discord by Mel Decision, try to get a live performance on the saxes if possible. 0:33 and 0:51 are spots where you switch between the 4/4 and 6/8, I'm wondering if there's a way to prep our ear for the meter changes so that the new meter doesn't feel so different when we get there. 1:27 and 1:45 is another meter change section and the same as above applies. This really is a good start and there's a lot of potential in this idea! I look forward to hearing more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemophiliac Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moebius Posted December 17, 2023 Author Share Posted December 17, 2023 Hello! So I went ahead and got live recordings courtesy of Lucas Guimaraes and also incorporated the suggestions made here and in the discord. I have also started working on the mix, but feel like it is not quite there yet, and would love some thoughts and a fresh set of ears! https://www.dropbox.com/s/vf4tltx0ru8e6m5/Day Market Render.mp3?dl=0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemophiliac Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 The piano being panned right feels weird to me. Since we talked on discord and you gave me some info about the pitch correction you did, I'd like to expand on that. I think there are still places where the sax performance needs some more attention with pitch correction. 1:37-1:44 sounds like it's under the pitch. Then it jumps up to 1:45 where the pitch is right, but the blend of the two is close, but could be better. Generally the tenor sax (panned left) sounds like it's probably the one to sink down on pitch more often then the alto. This seems to be the case most often on it's lower notes. 0:17-0:31, 0:40-0:41, 1:31, 1:35, 1:39 are spots I would double check pitch on 0:34 on the alto, there might be a pitch correction artifact coming through. Generally you're looking to have parts blend with each other if they are supporting, and when they are leads they should stand out. 2:52-end does sound good and that's what you should be shooting for. I know Lucas is willing to rerecord for you, and I think the first half could benefit from it. Have him focus on blend of the two parts when the notes aren't moving but are being held out, that's when you can really hear when the pitch doesn't come together. He's really working hard on improving his performances and they have come a long way in the last year. Once you do get that, try working on a mixdown of parts that allows the listener to follow the melody and lets the background elements be supporting. You got this! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemophiliac Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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