*NO* Final Fantasy 7 "Las Lagrimas"

[Emunator ⚖️]

Artist Name: absent&undone

"Listen to the Cries of the Planet" has always been a beautiful yet haunting melody. It's been a bucket list item for me to submit a work to ocremix and after finally getting off my butt and diving headfirst into working on music, I knew this would the one to work on. Everything was done in Ableton Live, with the guitars and bass recorded live and everything else programmed. I didn't want to stray too far off from the original version of the song as I love it so much, but definitely wanted to add in my own flavor.

 

Edited 7 hours ago by paradiddlesjosh

[pixelseph ⚖️]

Classic source on this one! That ostinato and longform A-B is a major earworm.

Opens with a MkII-style EP running the arp ostinato. Initial ride cymbal hits starting @ :09 sounds like they're all the same velocity (somewhere around the 110-127 range) and very up-front in the stereo image; we call this an "exposed sample" because it doesn't sound natural to the way the instrument would be played by a performer.

The next synth layer @ :23 comes in with the choir line from the source with an interesting LFO wobble. The timing on the LFO creates a dissonant rub against the rest of the instruments that's unpleasant to listen to for an extended period. This trucks through the rest of the A section, bringing in the arp counter pluck and synth string line. The drum sequencing has some fun ideas, though the lack of velocity variation is still present here (and continues to be a major problem through the rest of the track).

@ 1:18, we transition into the B section with some big burly guitar hits and stanky bass guitar. This section is much more in line sonically and dynamically, though rigidly locked to the grid. The live instruments are less rigid compared to the drums and synths, but the overall presentation (while loud) lacks the compelling, groovy element.

1:51 returns to the A section. The tremolo effect on the guitars is a great texture here, and then competes with that warble synth from earlier. Because they're occupying the same role in the composition, and the effect draws a lot of attention, it's important to decide which instrument should be taking focus and which should lay back. I think the guitar is more success here with it but the decision is yours as the arranger!

2:47 gives us another tasty feel change from the drums under the continued A section. The instrumentation is feeling stale and repetitive at this point, mostly because the only changing element is the drum sequencing underneath it all.

3:13 returns to the B section, and it's a little different from last time! Love the variation here, though my earlier comments on rigidity still apply here. Cool bass groove to signal the outro and it's done.

@paradiddlesjosh can speak better on to how to make the most of your kit with velocity programming to sound natural; I'm merely going to point out that the feel of the sequencing is appropriate for the style, but the lack of velocity differences cripples the groove AND what I think is the single most important job of the drums in a rock/metal context - the drummer drives the bus. The drums tell us so much about where the song, dynamically, is going.

An example of this is @ :44 - the push to open hats tells us we're bringing the dynamic energy up, but the lack of groove on them hamstrings that feel. The big gnarly guitar and bass hit @ 1:00, by contrast, is damn awesome because the drums cue them up nicely!

There are some great ideas on this framework, and some tactical changes would bring this up to our bar. Should you choose to take this feedback and revisit the work, I'd be listening for:

• humanization applied to velocities and timing on all programmed instruments, most importantly the drums; and
• a more compelling, dynamic arrangement (have elements rest, switch sections around, etc)

If you need more ears on this (or other) piece(s) as you work on them, we recommend our Workshop forum or the #workshop channel on our Discord! I want to stress that this is a great start - would love to see this come back to the panel!

NO (resubmit)

[prophetik music ⚖️]

we covered this one extensively on the 6/18 NO SHOW.

my big highs on this one were the guitars coming in at 1:00, some of the synth choices, most of what the drums are saying conceptually, and the bass tone at the end. my big negatives here were the lack of humanization in the drums, the overall lack of direction to the arrangement (it just kind of sits in the same place for a long time and needs more dynamic contrast throughout, especially in the drums), and that it feels right now like far too much repetition throughout (this could easily be >60s shorter).

i'm not going to do a huge writeup as we went over it in detail in the live show. i definitely think what you've got here is a great framework. some more attention to the arrangement's shape and possibly getting away from the arp as the main element for a time in the middle will make that last third a lot more impactful.

 

 

NO

[paradiddlesjosh ⚖️]

We said a lot during the NO SHOW, so my vote here is going to read a lot like proph's.

I also thought the guitars coming in at 1:00 were a massive highlight, as well as the bass at the end. The EP running the ostinato sounds great and the drum parts themselves are fantastic in a vacuum. Unfortunately, the arrangement's repetitiveness and the inhuman, all-heavy-hits-all-the-time drum programming are massively holding this one back. 

There's a good bit of work to do to take this one to the next level, but it's a really good start. We encourage you to hit up the #workshop in the OCR Discord -- lots of helpful folks in there who can help you find your way.

NO (resubmit)