prophetik music ⚖️ Posted July 17 Posted July 17 (edited) I just love this song and I had to do an arrangement of it Games & Sources Tyrian 2000, Composition in Q Edited 2 hours ago by Hemophiliac
prophetik music ⚖️ Posted July 18 Author Posted July 18 this song again has over a minute of silence after it, similar to your Song of Storm submission. please trim the silence off of the end of your tracks before submission. opens with the original's arpeggio in the piano to open, with a slower overall tempo. 0:14 brings in the melodic line in the cello. there's a few other elements brought in at 0:28 and it gets pretty overwhelmingly loud for a bit. the piano break after is straight from the original and doesn't sound modified, and then we get a full band sound at 1:15. there's some fun elements here - the electric guitar's tone is great, and i like the downtempo feel in the bass. none of the instruments sound particularly real or balanced as everything's just layered in, but the idea is fun. the melody drops and the arpeggio is in the guitar for a bit before a sudden stop, and it's done. from an arrangement perspective, there's not a lot here that isn't in the original. i like the band feel that comes in at 1:15, but there's no new countermelodic elements, no personalization or chord changes - nothing that is Hupusu, just stuff that is Alexander Brandon but in new instrumentation. so that'd need to change before this could be considered. separately, the instruments are not particularly good - there are way more free options out there that'd really improve this, including string and piano soundfonts and VSTs - and the mix is dense because everything's just layered in with no effecting or compression or EQing. so there's a lot to work on here! but i think that the feel you get at 1:15 is great, and a good example that you know what you want to get to and it's just a matter of learning the steps along the way. i'd encourage you to take a look at the Workshop discord or forum on the site so that you can get some suggestions and start learning to improve. NO
Chimpazilla ⚖️ Posted July 24 Posted July 24 Opening piano is very stiff and robotic, every note the same velocity and hitting right on grid. Ditto with the cello, there's no legato flow, and when it ends, it stops cold which is totally unnatural. The piano arp goes on and on after that, with nothing on top of it, until the guitar, cello and drums kick in. The cello stops dead again at 1:42. Adding elements like bass, guitar and drums is the right path forward for this arrangement, this is what we look for, unique elements and writing together with recognizable source. This mix has a long way to go however, to be postable on OCR. The instrument sequencing is really rough and unhumanized. The best part of this mix is when the full soundscape starts up at 1:13, even with the stiff sequencing, this part is good and developed, but it's over quickly. Other than that brief section, the rest of the arrangement is much too conservative to the source song for OCR. And no need to render an extra minute of silence after your track, that should be trimmed prior to submitting. There are some great ideas here, and nice mellow vibe. But the writing, arranging, sound choices and mixing will all need to be improved. I agree with proph that a great place to start is our Discord workshop channel. NO
Hemophiliac ⚖️ Posted 2 hours ago Posted 2 hours ago First off I wanted to say that I think there's a cool idea here. Translating this to piano and cello to start feels like a no-brainer, but the idea works very well. When the other parts come in (bass, drums, strings, and guitar) at 1:15 this feels more fleshed out as a potential idea for a track. The guitar in particular is the best sounding element in this track with reverb and delay on it, and has a fitting tone for the track. Where this falls is the execution of production and the closeness to the original source tune. Adding the additional band parts is a step in the right direction, but it's still just the same melody and structure around that. More expansion and development of that idea and with more of your own ideas is the way to go. Production/sequencing leaves us with something much to be desired. We're really lacking the human feel here. It's all ice-cold perfectly sequenced with repeated velocities in the piano with line-locked rigid timing early in the piece. Humans don't play the exact same dynamic/velocity from note to note. There will always be miniscule differences between them. The timing won't fall exactly on the beat every single time. The cello sample in particular sounds very low quality and cuts off suddenly when it's done at 0:41. Almost feels like there's no reverb on the piano or cello to help with realism. Drum fill on the toms at 1:41 is awkwardly out of time. There's over a minute of silence at the end. Please double check your submission before sending it in next time. Once again, would love to see further development of your own ideas and expansion upon the source and not just a conservative arrangement on new instruments. The production should also be looked at for more realism with attention paid to humanization of the parts. It's a cool vibe, but not ready for OCR. NO
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