*NO* Super Mario 64 'Amateur Optimism'

[Liontamer]

Your ReMixer name: Meteo Xavier (Or Meteo X)

Your real name: Jeff Lawhead

Your email address: MeteoX9999@aol.com

I have no website and no knowledge of my userid

Name of game(s) ReMixed: Super Mario 64

Name of individual song(s) ReMixed: The File Selection Theme (I don't know the actual title)

Your own comments etc. etc.:

Good time of the day, I humbly wish to submit what I consider to be a "remix" for Super Mario 64's File Selection Theme. I wanted to originally submit this as part of the Super Mario remix project I saw last week but I failed to secure an opening.

The song title is "Amateur Optimism", based on what I had as I remixed the song.The intended vision (for lack of a better word concerning a song) for this song was to be a mellow, warm, tribute to the introductionry theme, much as I remember Super Mario 64 being. The original piece was quite simple and small but delicious, like an M&M, quite good material to be remixed. The remix is intended to be something of an introduction itself - not a huge grand exploration into something so small. The song builds quite quickly which I believe gives it that intended effect. It continues the original motif through most of the song so as to keep it grounded in the original style and feel of the song.

I will also say that while I feel I achieved my original goal, I do feel there are concerns with its construction. I had to drag out one note for another 8th to get the rhythm and grove working. The piano parts and drums do not variate much at all, they are mostly to create that mellow warm background accompanying the main motif, but I could see (or hear) how it might be distracting. I am also concerned about the sound quality of the flute I used, especially when it gets really high up. My final concern would be the ending chords which I feel sounds like it was slapped together. I did work on it for many hours trying to correct it as best I could, but in the end this is as good as I know how to get it.

And so here is a modest remix for a modest song, I hope it is good enough for your website.

My equipment:

FruityLoops 4

Kompakt (Guitars, Piano, medium strings)

Soundfonts: (Bass, Drums, High strings, french horn, flute)

Cymbals were samples

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http://www.zophar.net/usf/sm64usf.rar - 18 "File Select"

No, I think it's safe to say it's not good enough. People say it's difficult to be objective about their art. I agree, but at the same time it's not that difficult to be MORE objective than usual about one's art when forced to. Downright default-grade/thin samples to open it up, sparse textures, REALLY rigid sequencing, 112kbps encoding for a sub-3min track... compare this with anything recently posted, bro. You can't believe this is anywhere near the bar. Indeed, "amateur optimism" rings true.

Now that I've come across as a piece of shit, onto the meat of the criticisms. Although the melodic component of the mix was cribbed verbatim and not interpreted at all (and it screams MIDI-rip), you had some decent additive ideas, first the countermelodic piano at :31, then the woodwind at :53. Good original ideas, though I'm not hearing any meaningful interpretation of the actual source material. The game melody is just relegated to the background. The next original passage from 1:35-1:57 has nothing but the most tangential of tangential connections to the source tune, if any at all. 1:57 until the end goes back to the formula of "repetitive, verbatim source melody + original passages on top".

You've got the right idea in terms of adding your own original writing, but you forgot to actually interpret the Super Mario 64 material. Don't lose site of what this site is supposed to be about. Your primary goal is to interpret the source material you chose, not merely build other stuff on top of an untouched game melody.

Based off this sub though, you have the potential to improve once your energies are focused in the right direction. Scour the ReMixing forum to learn how to use your sounds better and get some better free soundfonts to use, and post your stuff in the Works forum if you aren't already doing so. You need more feedback before you submit in the future.

NO

[Vig]

ah this was a good track.

the guitar sequencing is very mechanical. Halfway through and there's really been no direction. just the melody repeated with a somewhat poorly-written flute countermelody line. after that, the piano, flute and guitar all digress into unrelated harmony lines.

I think you need to do more to keep the various melodic lines related to each other, and as a whole going in a certain direction.

NO

[big giant circles]

Despite whatever quirks one may have with this mix, you've taken the original theme and turned it into something very pretty. This is total "feel good" music. I really like this kind of sound.

As far as the mix falls in relation to the bar, it unfortunatly does fall a little short. Mostly in terms of orchestration, and partwriting. As the resident "Sample-whore" of the panel, I'm usually the first one to critique lower-quality samples, but surprisingly, the samples you used didn't really phase me that much. The mix is a little too quiet, and the sequencing needs more attention than the samples, as far as I'm concerned. The overall structure, despite the beautiful mood the song conveys came across as very rigid. Granted the style you're aiming for, I'd like to hear a little more dynamic flow. If you're using FL, then maybe humanize the velocities a little more. Some nice reverb automation would be a cool effect, too (Check the violin on Cave Story Moon Rhapsody for a good example).

The textures do get a little sparse at times, so perhaps some additional partwriting could help that out.

Larry pretty well covered all the bases as far as the level of reinterpreted music per original additions goes, so I won't expand too much on what he's already covered. (Thanks, Larry. You make us all that much lazier) but perhaps some good advice would be to incorporate another theme from the game into the track somewhere. Not exactly a medley, but a reference to another theme so that you don't get too carried away adding to the source. Believe me, I've walked that line, and it always sucks to get rejected for "too much original stuff" in a remix

I'll be keeping this remix, as it's very pretty and moving, but I hope you tweak this one up and resubmit it further on down the road, Jeff.

NO