Simon's Quest - Bloody Tears

[The Green Tentacle]

Been futzing around with FL Studio for a couple of weeks and this is one of the better things I've turned out. I've been tweaking the velocities and adding and subtracting lines to make it feel more streamlined, but I guess I'm just not confident that this is necessarily OCRemix material, especially with all of the poorly done Bloody Tears remixes I'm sure we've all experienced. Decided to take it to the experts.

I started out by playing around with the instruments on FL Studio and practiced just writing some stuff. Then the intro to bloody tears just seemed to compliment it very well. From there I worked in the main body of the song. I've been having trouble reinterpreting songs since my main love is for the original song and I am merely paying homage to it by working around it's constructs. I'm pretty fond of how everything seems to blend, but hey, I've never submitted before.

Any suggestions?

http://puffberries.nrgservers.net/The%20Green%20Tentacle/Red%20Eyed%20Repose.mp3

[Tensei]

I'm sorry, but your URL doesn't seem to work, I'm really curious about your mix though (check out mine a few threads below) Bloody Tears seems pretty darn popular lately

Edit: http://puffberries.nrgservers.net/The%20Green%20Tentacle/Red%20Eyed%20Repose.mp3 This seems to be the proper link

0:00- 0:30 okay, decent enough intro, you might want to add some more tension by using some 4/4 crotchet bass-drum stomping (thump thump thump thump), always works nicely, and maybe just before the transition a a really fast snare fill

0:30-1:00 HOLY SH*T what's that sound! The low-end distorted humming is incredibly annoying, and takes up frequency space you should be using for your bass-drum, young man! Unfortunately, melodically or rhythmically, I can't make out much happening, you should definitely add some counter-melodies, since you're basically re-hashing the first thirty seconds with a slow beat and an annoying hum.

1:00-2:00 Okay, break time, we get some new pseudo-clean-guitar melodies here, which is nice, if it WEREN'T for that hum. In the later part I can hear some pretty interesting melodic things happening, so you should hold on to those. Also, the phattening of the drums for the transition is nicely done.

2:00-2:35 AH yes, the main melody, can't remember how often I've heard that now, even the hum seems a bit less annoying now. Nice to see how your song picks up pace here.

2:35-2:50 HALLELUJAH, NO HUM, okay I think you got the point, I'll shut up about the hum now.

2:50 - End basically a re-hash of the previous few sections, it would actually be nice to see you change the chord scheme, as it would add a lot of interest.

As a general note, I'd suggest you LOSE the 'acoustic' drum kit, since it sounds just bland and boring ( not only on the production level), and whip out some phat breakbeats, since IMO they would fit this just perfectly (Or at least use techno/trance-like drum samples, even a standard thump thump thump beat would fit this song quite well).

Also, did I mention the distorted hum that's probably supposed to be the bass? Get rid of it please.

[The Green Tentacle]

Any recommendations on exactly what I could use for a blunt force base line there? I want something with a significant presence, kindof a "doom" feel as it rumbles along in the bassline.

I have no intention of using a drumloop for this song for several reasons. 1) They're too generic 2) this is Not a techno song, thus the "Thump Thump Thump Thump" is totally inappropriate and 3) Drum loops don't allow for very much variation or feeling.

I will see if I can make the drums feel a little more natural, but I'm probably going to keep them acoustic for a more raw visceral feel.

I don't think I'll add another chord structure to this as that would introduce a completely new section to the song, thereby making it too long and incongruous. I'm fond of artists like Daft Punk who can take the exact same theme and run it through a build up intro into a theme, break, introduce a different more regular theme, then slowly break it back down to the beginning. It's got a very nice circle of life feel to it for which I am striving.

Any feedback as to why this is a bad approach would be useful, and I guess I'll need some recommendations on individual instruments or samples to use.

[Tensei]

Well, since I'm no synth man myself, I can't tell you much about a decent kind of synth bass patch. What I DO suggest, is trying to use some dark-sounding pads instead of the full-blown bassline-chord-sound you have going on, while not as prominent as what you have now, I'm sure the combination of a non-distorted bass to play the root/bass note of the chords and some dark ambient pads will prove a much more effective combination for what you're aiming for.

I do share your love for daft punk, however despite their music being absolutely awesome, I'm not entirely sure how the judges would react to a similar arrangement, which is why I suggested expanding a bit on it. The point with daft punk is that (If I'm not mistaken), while repeating the same sample over and over (Crescendolls), they manage to emphasize their drums a lot, and drive the song on. If that is what you're aiming for, you should definitely pay attention to sequencing an amazing drum track.

[The Green Tentacle]

Okay. Made some changes. Like the balance a lot better than before and added a lot. Changed the drums and added some drums. Thinking the ending may just kindof hang there but at a bit of a loss as to what to do there.

New thoughts?

http://puffberries.nrgservers.net/The%20Green%20Tentacle/Red%20Eyed%20Revision.mp3

[The Green Tentacle]

No one seems to have any feedback, but there's a new update to the link. The whole song seems fuller now. I am fairly pleased, but always looking for more constructive criticism.

Thanks.

http://puffberries.nrgservers.net/The%20Green%20Tentacle/Red%20Eyed%20Repose.mp3

[Dryer Lint]

First of all: Your link is broken! The actual file is "Red Eye Repose.mp3."

As for the remix itself. It takes a little too long to get interesting, IMHO. The first 2 minutes seem like a really long intro.

After that, it's pretty nice! I like the chilly, relaxed mood.

My biggest gripe would be that weird loop that loops through basically the whole song unchanged and is panned all the way to the right (or so it seems). I don't know how to describe that instrument; it sounds like a drum, but it plays a little melody. It gets annoying very quickly though, since it doesn't ever change.

[The Green Tentacle]

huh, first time anyone's pointed that out to me. it isn't panned at all, but you're right, at that volume level it does seem a bit much. The objective is for that to ride along the bottom as the foundation of everything else. It never changes, which is intentional, but I'll see if I can do something with it. As for the beginning, almost everyone says the same thing about it starting slow, and I think I might add some Organ at the beginning to create more of a hook, but from about 1:00-2:00 is all original content save for the Bloody Tears "intro" accompanying it. I want this to be more inspired by the actual song which shows its face at the 2nd half.

But yeah, something to think about, thank you.

[zircon]

Hey bro. Jiggles gave me the link to this. Here are my thoughts!

The arrangement here is actually quite creative. Nice variations on the melody, and good use of original material. This is one of the harder things to get down. Overall though, this mix is too "low" - it's generally not a good idea to play a melodic line so low. Try pitching all the melodies up an octave or even TWO octaves so it's easier to hear and make out. You can also use EQ to increase the high end of melodic instruments like the bells towards the end so they stand out more. Try using some light compression on the MASTER track to level out the volume too... my production tutorial could help there.

For all instruments EXCEPT the kick and bass, I suggest you put a parametric EQ on and reduce the LOWEST band significantly. This will eliminate a lot of the bass energy that exists on these instruments, which is not pleasant usually, but leave room for the 'good' bass instruments. I liked the drum sequencing in the main melody part, but the sounds were a little on the cheap side. Check my tutorial on drum programming for help on how to refine your drum parts. You're on the right track, it's mainly a mixing/processing thing here. Reverb on the snare is a good idea, as well as hats that are more audible, and perhaps even some tom fills every so often.

This is actually quite good for an early effort. Sure, the production is not polished or up to OCR spec yet, but I am genuinely impressed with the arrangement. Check out some of my tutorials, re-think the octaves of your instruments, make the EQ changes I recommended, and see how that sounds.

[The Green Tentacle]

Thanks muchly. Without a whole lot of knowledge with the software, I think those tutorials will make all the difference in the world. I was actually listening to your CD and thinking that the sounds are so much cleaner even though they're still full bodied and have good volume. Hopefully I can apply the tutorials effectively.

Oh, and thanks for the CD, too, I'm actually quite enamoured of "Breathing You In" Very enjoyable track.

I'll keep updates posted.