The Instrumental Light Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Hello, this is one of my original works, please comment and critique! EDIT:Link removed. New link below. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nec5 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Is this finished? I think it's missing a hook. Here's my amateurish amateur rundown: 0-:16'= Well, the piano and the backing effects works as an opener. The piano comes off as a bit flat, but maybe that's just me. The flute or whatever that is in the background is nice. :17'= The silence here as a transition doesn't really work. The opening material is too sparse for a complete pause separation. I'd recommend blending in the opening 16 seconds or so with the more energetic stuff from :18'. :18- If you can change up the piano a bit, either by getting a new sample or replacing it with a wind flute for while, do so. :38'= Again, using a pause as a transition doesn't quite work. The piece uses this pause transition quite a bit. Use these pauses sparingly. 1:23'= That flute in the background adds some nice feeling, but I'm thinking we've heard all this before. Add a new segment to the song, maybe some light drums or a synth. 1:33'= The doubling and tripling of the piano gets a bit painful here. Some humanizing and or instrument substitution is necessary. Well, I'm thinking the transitions need an overhaul. The piano can be tweaked a bit. However, some strings or another instrument layered into the midsection of the song would really add some atmosphere. As things stand, the tune is a bit flat. As for the piano, try using some reverb and echoing effects. It seems a bit off to me, but I'm no musician. Keep at it. Pm me if you need more feedback because your song is ignored. Edit: I just realized that this is another overly negative WIP comment from me. Actually, the song wasn't all that bad. When songs are really in need of an overhaul, I just contribute a few sentences. I only do a rundown on songs that are on the right track. So there's something positive that's not BS. Keep at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Actually, its meant to be a finished work. And thx for the critique, i just wanted to have some feedback on it before i release it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted September 1, 2007 Author Share Posted September 1, 2007 New (permanent) link:http://DreamCreatorStudios.googlepages.com/media Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hsia Nu Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Sounds good i like it a lot, the piano sounds very stiff though. go through and edit the notes so it flows a little better. great track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted September 8, 2007 Author Share Posted September 8, 2007 thanks. By the way, if you (or anybody else) have any more posts about my songs post here:http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=11715 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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