WIP - war game theme

[Ronyn]

Working on an orchetral mockup for a war game. Will probably add some extra goodies after. Curious if this sounds right for a war game or not. Love to hear feedback.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=447695 - Call of War

[dannthr]

In revision there's a horrific process called "Kill Your Darlings" which is a mandate directing you to eliminate some of the elements of your work to which you are attached that might be holding you back.

It's painful, but important.

The trumpet "call," I believe, is holding you back. It's trite, it's shallow, and it rides bluntly over your harmonic progression.

That's not to say that a good war theme shouldn't have fanfare--it SHOULD, but you abuse it.

What I recommend is getting rid of it, or at least getting rid of any facsimile of it until later on. It's too shallow to be a starter theme, it will work better as a development later on--a countertheme, if necessary. I would develop the horn line you have and just work, for at least one day, without your "darling" trumpet call.

[Sil]

Change the second iteration of the trumpet to some combination of winds, like oboes and flutes playing in thirds or sixths. As things build harmonically around the 1:00 mark, double it with violins in octaves + thirds or sixths. Your strings seem really tame after 0:30.

As for the first iteration, well, to boost the sound you could get away with trumpets or horns playing in thirds and other close intervals below the melody (think Copland's Fanfare) or horns just down the octave in open intervals.

[case]

It seems like the snare in the background is slightly off-beat, maybe like the drumroll was hesitated for a little too long. Also, a little more variance in that realm might be good, as military snares do not tend to be overly repetative and as simple as that. Maybe add in a couple flams and sixteenth notes in between, and try changing it up every two or four bars at least (just minor variances, really). I'm no pro, but those are the things I could pick out, but I would like to say that it sounds very professional, like something you'd hear on the menu of a Call of Duty game.